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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU to not pay for the slice of cake?

233 replies

bananafish · 03/12/2015 18:13

This isn't a big deal, really, but I'm somewhat bemused, so here goes.

So, we had a bake sale at work to raise money for a local charity before Christmas.

I baked a carrot cake with cream cheese frosting. New recipe, newish oven. It looked good when I put it out, but I was a wee bit nervous it might taste horrible, so I cut a small slice to test it.

The woman who organised the bake sale smiled at me and said: "That will be £1.50, please."

I smiled back and said nothing, as I assumed she was joking. She wasn't; she asked for the money again.

I said that I was just making sure it was OK and I didn't think I needed to pay for the slice of cake? She tutted that it was "bad form", and walked away with her nose in the air.

I appreciate we were raising funds but that's a bit weird, isn't it? Or should I have coughed up?

OP posts:

spillyobeans · 05/12/2015 23:45

I dont see how anyone can think op is being unreasonable

liz70 · 05/12/2015 23:52

Well, I think she's a right sponger, trying to cream off the charity's profits. Talk about wanting to have your cake and eat it.

Oh, sorry, wrong thread.

ewanthedreamsheep · 06/12/2015 05:06

I fail to see how trying a slice at home is ok, but trying once it's being cut and laid out is wrong? Surely it's best to cut into it at the last minute so it doesn't get stale?
YANBU op. I'd have told her where to stick her £1.50 and withdrawn cake.

Gasp0deTheW0nderD0g · 06/12/2015 08:07

Yes, liz70, the OP got herself into a jam. However, this thread is on a Swiss roll. Lots of posters looking for brownie points. Pie in the sky to think there will ever be agreement! It's been a real bunfight.

CastaDiva · 06/12/2015 08:43

Oh, for heaven's sake, the organiser clearly didn't realise/had forgotten which cake the OP had donated - understandable enough of it was an entire stall with lots of offerings from different people - and thought she was cheekily helping herself to a freebie from a random cake before they went on general sale, hence asking for money. Then she realised, got the hump and wouldn't back down from her 'poor form' position to save face.

Bettercallsaul1 · 06/12/2015 09:43

Agree, Liz and Gasp0de - cake threads can be a recipe for disaster. There is always a mixture of views, and tempers can rise! Sadly, all the ingredients for a showdown were here - the OP thought it butter to take a test slice and didn't expect the stall lady to flour up. Just a slice of life, unfortunately.

fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 06/12/2015 09:57

She should have called the police.

Bettercallsaul1 · 06/12/2015 10:08

Quite right - the OP was taking the cake.

viioletsarentblue · 06/12/2015 10:40

LTB

Babiesandcoffee · 06/12/2015 10:47

She should have called the police.

In tears here

I do believe the cake was cut at the point of handing over.

gotthemoononastick · 06/12/2015 12:17

Crying with laughter at 'punch the cake'!
OP has learnt the lesson that there is a price to pay for Ego.
She really only wanted to show that it was HER cake!

PoorFannyRobin · 06/12/2015 12:28

Another thread that makes me laugh and despair for the future of the free world at the same time.

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 06/12/2015 13:33

I probably wouldn't have cut a slice, to test it - partly because I think, once it's handed over, it's not mine any more, and partly because I'd be afraid of people judging me for doing it - and from this thread, it seems there's a 50:50 chance that I would.

As a previous poster said - the easiest thing is to make cup cakes or a tray bake that you cut up at home - then you can try a piece at home, before you hand it over. That's what I've done, in the past.

VestalVirgin · 06/12/2015 14:08

Next time, just give them the cake, and let them cope with the possibility that it tastes horrible.

I think it is rather ridiculous to ask people to pay for a slice of the cake they themselves donated out of the goodness of their hearts. After all, you could just have donated no cake at all.

If you ate half the cake without paying for it, then that might be considered contrary to the purpose of raising money, but a single slice shouldn't be such an issue.

honeyroar · 06/12/2015 15:08

I can't believe that so many people would be so smug that they'd done their bit for charity by baking a cake for a sale. The whole point of the cake is to raise money for a charity.. If there were ten cakes baked for the sale and each baker took a slice of their own to test that's £15 of money that could have been raised for the charity gone.. And I realise that you were testing, but it should have been done at home. It's an awkward thing to do once the cake has been handed over. If I'd been the op I would have put the money in without being asked.

biggles50 · 06/12/2015 20:16

Ah jeez she was being silly. You had last minute doubts about your cake that's all. If you see her again just say you're sorry she misunderstood about the cake, you meant to try it at home but forgot, offer her the 1.50 for the cause as you've had time to think and it may have come across as mean. She'll cringe but it'll sort it.

bearleftmonkeyright · 06/12/2015 20:30

Is this what is meant by having your cake and eating it?

ChopsticksandChilliCrab · 07/12/2015 00:32

Judgypants galore on here. Why do women do this? Can you imagine a man being remotely bothered about a slice of cake being eaten? Or other men commenting? This thread makes women look ridiculous in my opinion.

And I have made a mental note to never bake a cake for a cake sale.

And I am ridiculous for commenting too- I do see the irony.

BertrandRussell · 07/12/2015 01:13

Well I do find this "well, I'm definitely doing nothing more for this very worthy charity because somebody said something to me that I could possibly interpret as an insult" line very odd. Who, exactly, are you baking this cake for?

ClancyMoped · 07/12/2015 01:16

Is this what is meant by having your cake and eating it?

No, I think it's more 'Not having your cake and eating it^

Senpai · 07/12/2015 02:51

Replace cake with beer, and yes. Absolutely yes.

Anyway, reasonable or not, the woman was being petty. She's probably a pain in the ass in other areas as well.

Masterpiece1 · 07/12/2015 04:58

Call 101 and log it OP. The police need to be informed about these kind if things.

IamtheDevilsAvocado · 07/12/2015 05:48

Cake sales are a minefield I tell you a minefield .

I've largely stopped for the reasons given:
---The mad charidee self
-appointed baitches.... Who make it a misery for everyone else....

-----customers moaning about prices.. ('it was cheaper at xyz cake bake last week! '). We are raising money, not so you can feel you've stuffed your gob with cheap luxury cake!

-----the times where we have donated cakes, and then seen our lovely cakes (my mum made cakes professionally!) being sold for marginally less/more than it cost us to make them.

In the end it was always the same core group making several cakes each. We then decided instead of running a bake sale we would all contribute the cost of our ingredients and not have the hassl of baking just for these self appointed charidee women to virtually give our cakes away.

TheNewStatesman · 07/12/2015 06:10

I think someone who has baked a cake is entitled to have one slice for themselves! All it means is that they are now donating 19/20ths of a cake rather than a whole cake. Which they have the right to do.

If someone does NOT donate any cake, does that mean that they should be considered to have "stolen" an entire cake from the charity?

Gasp0deTheW0nderD0g · 07/12/2015 07:31

To go off at a tangent, all this talk of self-important busybodies does remind me of an old job where I was a fire marshal. There were several buildings on our site. On one occasion we were told there was going to be a fire drill in each building and as many fire marshals were to be involved as possible so the fire officer could get a full picture of how each evacuation went.

Come the first drill, we all reported to a building with a central staircase in an atrium. It was explained that this was not safe to use if there was a fire, so evacuation would take place down the staircases in the corners of the building. Fine. The chief fire officer then told me to stand on the central staircase so that I could turn people back if they did try to come down that way. I went over there, ducking under a bit of tape someone had placed across the foot of the staircase, and standing on the first turn of the stairs, with my hi-viz jacket on.

While we were all waiting for the alarm to sound, a very cross woman, also in hi-viz, came up to the foot of the stairs and said to me 'Excuse me! You're not allowed to go on there during a fire drill, you know!' I explained why I was there. 'But you've just ignored the sign I've made and placed across the foot of the stairs saying 'No entry during fire drill'!' I explained again that I was acting on the instructions of the chief fire officer. Hopeless. She was a fire marshal in that building - in her eyes, she was the chief fire marshal, but I don't think it was an official position - and she was incandescent that I had ducked under her bit of tape. I don't think she ever got over it. Lots and lots of harumphing and head-tossing.

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