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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Just lost some friends...

46 replies

ChiefClerkDrumknott · 03/12/2015 15:38

Only Facebook ones, but still. Because apparently stating that the rights and safety of women should be considered alongside the rights of trans women in prison reforms makes me a bigot, comparable to Britain First and completely ignorant. I hate all trans people and am the new Hitler because I don’t think that everyone who claims to be female should be placed in women’s prisons. Oh, and ironically because I dare suggest that FTM trans people would be at higher risk than other men in a male prison – because they’re men, so how dare I suggest they’re not!
I didn’t state anything of the sort, just that a female bodied person, even if they consider themselves male, would be at risk in prison with biological men.
I tried stating my case but have been completely shut down and called all sorts of names because I suggested that feminism and trans rights will clash on this issue. I’ve stated time and time again that I wish no harm to trans people and want them protected, but that I also think that women should be considered. It upset me a little as I was told I had no understanding of the issue, that I clearly have never met anyone LGBT (not true) and that I am a hateful person. Is it even possible to have a civilised conversation about this? I did state that I believe gender to be a social construct and not an innate concept, which had me ripped to shreds.

It was with regard to this article: Trans prison issues

WIBU?

OP posts:
goodnightdarthvader1 · 03/12/2015 15:51

You won't find any support here. This discussion is viewed the same way by militant MNetters.

Bunbaker · 03/12/2015 15:57

First lesson of Facebook. Don't post anything controversial.

ChiefClerkDrumknott · 03/12/2015 15:57

In what way? I'm a little ashamed to say I tempered my view a little because I got such a kicking (am more in the camp of said militant Mumsnetters). But apparently even to suggest that the rights of both women and trans women should be considered in these matters is akin to saying that all trans people should be burnt at the stake!

OP posts:
ThereIsIron · 03/12/2015 15:58

Of course it's possible to have a civilised conversation ... just not on Facebook Confused

ChiefClerkDrumknott · 03/12/2015 15:59

First lesson of Facebook. Don't post anything controversial.

Haha I know! But I was so outraged that women's rights weren't mentioned once in that article that I may have been a little hasty to post

OP posts:
PrimalLass · 03/12/2015 16:00

This discussion is viewed the same way by militant MNetters.

That is nonsense. There is a lot of support on here for what the OP says.

ChiefClerkDrumknott · 03/12/2015 16:01

Of course it's possible to have a civilised conversation ... just not on Facebook

True. But some of these are people I've know most of my life so I thought maybe there was a possibility we could have some sort of discussion. I stated time and again that I did not want any harm to come to trans people but that I thought accepting anyone who claims to be trans to be so was a danger in this instance. I see my mistake now in thinking that explaining my POV calmly and thoroughly would help....

OP posts:
catfordbetty · 03/12/2015 16:02

Social media do not lend themselves to complex or nuanced political positions.

ChiefClerkDrumknott · 03/12/2015 16:03

I'll answer my own OP - IWBU to think I could post something controversial and not get in to a massive fight on Facebook Grin

OP posts:
hellsbellsmelons · 03/12/2015 16:04

Never ever ever ever air your political views on Social Media.
Simples!!!

SparklyLeprechaun · 03/12/2015 16:04

Yanbu. But then, IMO, Facebook should be restricted to sharing pictures of cats. I've got a Russian friend who regularly gushes over the amazingness of Putin's actions. I just ignore her posts.

ChiefClerkDrumknott · 03/12/2015 16:06

Never ever ever ever air your political views on Social Media.
Simples!!!

True. Lesson learnt goes back to posting pics of cats and horses

OP posts:
GnocchiGnocchiWhosThere · 03/12/2015 16:14

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

hellsbellsmelons · 03/12/2015 16:16

Yeah - some people just don't want to understand that we all have opinions and they aren't always going to be the same, so it's best to stear well clear!

ChiefClerkDrumknott · 03/12/2015 16:17

And of AIBU!

^^

Ha possibly

OP posts:
ShebaShimmyShake · 03/12/2015 16:17

I might engage in anything political on Facebook if I had ever, once, my entire life, seen such a discussion end well there. They never ever do. That's why I stick to cat videos and Daily Mash links. That is what Facebook is for. And pouting selfies if that is your thing.

Samcro · 03/12/2015 16:17

this is why i do not do politics on fb. I got flamed by a dipstick family member once, over a pic I shared....
just not worth it, fb should be fun

cleaty · 03/12/2015 16:18

I regularly post political things on facebook. But then friends in real life know my views.

DeirdreDoo · 03/12/2015 16:19

I like Vlad. I wouldn't mind that at all Smile

WorraLiberty · 03/12/2015 16:21

Why do people keep dragging stuff from Facebook, on to Mumsnet?

It makes me wonder what people used to post about before FB became so popular.

You said yourself, they're only Facebook friends.

I wouldn't give it another thought.

ChiefClerkDrumknott · 03/12/2015 16:21

I had to scroll back and check I hadn't accidently written All trans people should be burnt as witches for all I was being laid in to

OP posts:
ChiefClerkDrumknott · 03/12/2015 16:26

Why do people keep dragging stuff from Facebook, on to Mumsnet?

Dunno, thought I must be going mad and was wondering if what I said was so awful, I guess.

It makes me wonder what people used to post about before FB became so popular.

Not sure. This is the first time I've ever posted about it here. And tbf I had Facebook before I was on here so people have always posted about it since I've been on here.

You said yourself, they're only Facebook friends.

True. I went to primary and comp with some of them, so used to know them, I guess. Not so much now so no big loss, although I did like looking at the photos of Canada where one of them has moved

I wouldn't give it another thought.

I'll try to get over it Grin

OP posts:
WorraLiberty · 03/12/2015 16:30

That's the spirit! Grin

ChiefClerkDrumknott · 03/12/2015 16:31

I regularly post political things on facebook. But then friends in real life know my views.

I have posted news stories and articles before, so it's not unknown for me. I've never quite had a response like this before, though! I've always been left leaning so maybe it was a bit of a shock for me to suddenly seem not so much, in their eyes? I used to have similar views to my friends but having thought about this issue I've come around to the POV I now have

I was just so annoyed that women (not trans) were not once mentioned in that article or seemingly in the reform discussions that I posted it without really stopping to consider what the response would be

OP posts:
WoodHeaven · 03/12/2015 16:36

You see I don't agree with not airing your personal views of FB. Because if you do that and then stop challenging sexist/racist/disability posts, then these ideas are becoming the norm.
On the contrary, I think we should defend our views when we see something that we feel is wrong and should be challenged.

I wouldn't start a conversation about it which is different.