AIBU to expect a Thankyou for a gift?

[PeppasNanna]

Do you expect to be thanked when you send friends or family gifts for birthdays or Christmas?

Yes, by whatever medium suits best. As a child I always wrote letters, and still do to some more elderly/old fashioned relatives. To others, aunts etc I send a quick email with a picture if relevant, of child with toy etc. Likewise we normally get emails/texts/calls from neices and nephews and either texts or notes from school friends.

I write thank you notes on behalf of my young children (who can't write yet). I usually get cards made up with a photo on from an online place and go to loads of trouble to remember and mention the specific thing that was bought.

I'm probably going to stop bothering because everyone else with young kids in the family just texts to say thanks, and I'm sick of getting passive-aggressive texts on the day of the child's birthday about not saying thanks immediately - it takes me days to get the cards sorted.

The final straw was visiting 3 houses I'd sent thank you cards/photos to and they had all just binned them.

In future I'll just text!!

Hangul.
It's simply good manners; I no longer send presents to certain family members because they never say thank you, and quite frankly why should I waste my money on them?
I'm not being precious but I think it's very rude and almost dismissive.

Hangul!? Wtf is that?
Yanbu...

fredfred your post has got to be one of the most sanctimonious I have ever read on MN.

Of course it's basic manners to say thank you. What a rude lot some of you are (and presumably bringing your DC up to be just as rude, more's the pity). Someone has spent time and money choosing a gift, and you can't even spend, what, less than a minute sending a quick text? Christ.

I expect a thank you card, note or letter (email will suffice in certain situations) and I will JUDGE you if I don't receive one. Silently, with slitty narrow eyes.

I would like a thank you for presents sent via post (a face to face thank you if giving a present in person is acceptable) but I have given up expecting one from nieces, nephews etc these days - it just seems too old fashioned for some young people. A text/email/whatever is acceptable of course.

I do stand over my teenage son after every birthday and Christmas and insist he writes proper thank you letters and my parents (in their 80s) are upset at the lack of thank-you's from their other grandchildren - they give very generous gifts (£100 cheques) and it is disappointing that they are not even acknowledged. . It means a lot to an elderly person if their grandchild can't even be bothered to send an email or quick note.

Toffee - I don't think most people are too busy to write a thank you note, after all, how long does it really take? I could have written a couple in the time it takes me to write a post on Mumsnet, I think most people just can't be arsed bothered.

Although these days, all giving is face to face, so obviously people are thanked at the time.

errr.............. what a bizarre comment, of course all giving isn't face to face - I always send my nephews and nieces birthday/Christmas cheques in the post and rarely get a thank you although I notice the cheques are cashed quickly enough.

I write thank you letters for any gifts to me/my DS. If somebody has made an effort to give me/him something, I'm touched and grateful. I feel that sending a thank you card is the least I can do.

Manners cost nothing. Presents cost something and if someone has been generous enough to buy a gift for you or one of your children/household the least you can do is say thank you!
Grrrrr bad manners infuriate me

Totally agree with MummyZELC. Can't stand bad manners. Good manners cost nothing at all - not even much effort and can mean so much to others. Why not say thank you?

I don't "expect it" It's nice if it comes, but I don't lose any sleep if it doesn't......

I expect a quick text. Nothing formal or silly like a card though.

Yes I expect it but I hardly ever get it, especially from younger family members who don't live near me (not expecting a handwritten card but a simple pm on Facebook to acknowledge would be nice).

I think its basic manners and find it sad that it's apparently going out of fashion. I wouldn't dream of not acknowledging a gift.

People are 'too busy' to say thank you? If I can take my time selecting, buying, wrapping and posting a gift, then the least they could do is take 2-3 minutes to phone, or even text to say thank you.

I have solved the problem however. I don't send any more gifts. Last straw was my nephew who I sent £100 cash for his 16th birthday. Didn't hear anything for three weeks, and that was only after I enquired if it had got there.

Bet he was quick enough to spend it.

My sisters three kids are all the same. Bet they will all be scrambling to see my will when I die (I have no kids). They are in for a big surprise.

Of course I expect a thank you of some sort. Bloody rude not to. Can totally relate Buxton. I have similar with my nephews/nieces. All bar one over 18. Just not doing it anymore.

Yes, how rude are people now that they don't say thank you? That is basic manners and I say this as a 25yo. I wouldn't expect a note but a 5 second text shows it was appreciated. I wouldn't dream of not saying thank you for a gift.

we live a long way away from our family so gifts were always posted, and I have learnt not to expect thanks (from the nieces and nephews) even though thats what we were all brought up to do. one sibling usually acknowledges if things arrive by post regardless of who they are for. The last couple of things I organised, I actually didn't realise they never arrived until I asked (or got email delivery notification from the company) a few months later! If I don't know, I can't chase it up.
From my point of view, because I don't know them really well, I used to find it really hard to know what to send, but there was never any feedback (not that I expect I would hear that they hated the gift). They all just get online vouchers now.

I don't care how people say thank you: text/email etc

Tbh receiving a thank you card/note/letter would irritate me, and comes across as rather pretentious. Surely if you're close enough to someone to send a gift you're close enough to not need such formal notification.
Also a pp mentioned wanting to know if the recipient liked the gift - you will never know. If someone is polite enough to thank you they are polite enough to say they liked it whether they did or not!

I think a text message is absolutely fine.

🎁

[santa] thanks for all your replies.

I suppose ultimately i feel abit sad that my friend cant be bothered to send a text.

This has happened a few times now.

Maybe I should take the hint & stop bothering...!

People should ALWAYS say thank you for as gift. It is basic manners and not doing it is fucking ignorant.

That said, the 'thank you' can be in any format - verbal, text, email, letter - doesn't matter how.

A thank-you card is pretentious?

I've heard it all now.

I like to receive a card, but failing that, a call, email or text will suffice. Obviously if handed over in person, then a face-to-face thank you is enough.

No acknowledgement - no further present.

Milk - how on earth can a thank you card be 'pretentious' - I'm with Nanny0gg - the comments you see on Mumsnet amaze me.

But are you disappointed if you don't even receive a text Milk - most of us on this thread who are disappointed at not receiving a thank you is because we just don't get any acknowledgement at all. I post birthday/Christmas gifts (vouchers or cheques) and just don't hear anything, until a cheque is cashed I could assume it has gone missing in the post.

"Expect" isn't the word I would use. But I always appreciate thanks.

If I give the gift in person thanks at the time is appreciation enough for me. If not given in person thanks via text or email is fine.

Basic manners.

I don't understand some people's obsession with having to receive a card though.