AIBU to expect a Thankyou for a gift?

[PeppasNanna]

Do you expect to be thanked when you send friends or family gifts for birthdays or Christmas?

Yes, always, though I have just realised I forgot to thank my uncle for my birthday money back in July

YANBU to expect a thank you for a gift.

I'm so ancient that my parents ensured I sat down and wrote thank you letters for any gift, which I still do.

However, I think a more informal acknowledgement or thank you by phone call, text or email is fine these days for general presents - but it's still nice to get a written thank you for a wedding present, or a present for another significant occasion though.

No acknowledgement or thanks at all is just plain rude.

I expect to receive a phone, text or email unless I've given in person. I now have a rule that if I haven't received a thanks in any form for two years running I stop giving them gifts on the grounds that the person isn't bothered whether they receive them or not.

If appropriate then I thank at the time (ie if someone gives me something for Xmas or birthday in advance I will thank them even though I haven't seen gift?) My kids are young so I thank on their behalf.... usually with a message if gifts / cards are opened when the giver isn't there.

I would expect and send personal thank yous if I attended a big event such as a wedding or christening but not for every gift I ever give.

I find people are generally thankful at the 'handing over stage' and that can often be in advance of the event.... that is fine for me.

Sorry if I am not making sense lol. I think a generic thank you when handong a gift over suffices and I don't need a "thank you for xyz" message after gift has been opened.

God I'm boring myself now.

But if you hand over a gift-wrapped 'something' and the recipient doesn't open it (or hasn't got time to open it at the party), so they're just saying thank you for something they haven't got a clue what it is, would those of you who say 'no', not expect some form of thanks for a carefully chosen gift?

Yes, but a text is fine or a thankyou at the time. I don't expect a letter.

Yes, just a text or something to say thanks is enough.

Er ABSOFUCKINLUTELY!! (as in yes they should thank you). I have not yet been thanked for a naming ceremony gift from over a month ago, I feel quite cross actually. I put thought into it. I wouldn't dream of not thanking someone, I mean that's just so rude. I would feel terrible if I did that.

Yes, basic manners. Shocked people saying no. If someone gives you something as a present you say thank you be it in person, text or in letter etc. Its rude otherwise.

If you require a thanks, you're giving an obligation, not a gift.

Don't give obligations.

If I hand someone a gift and they say thanks, that's good enough for me. I don't need them to go home and write me a card to say thanks, it's complete overkill IMO.

Exceptions being something like a wedding where that thank you is more likely to be along the lines of 'thanks for coming and sharing the day, and thanks for the gift'.

Or if it's posted or sent via someone else I'd probably appreciate a thanks by text just to acknowledge that it was received, but I don't get expect it or get all upset about it.

But I don't even write Xmas cards anymore, can't be arsed!

Yes, of course! It's rude not to say thank you.

Hugely confused by this thread- do initial responses saying no mean you wouldn't expect a text if you sent a parcel/verbal thanks if you put a gift in someone's hands?! Or just that you wouldn't expect a written note? Because I can't imagine giving no thanks at all (whether it be verbal/phone/text/FB....)

I don't expect a thank you but its nice when you get one.

My DC are well versed in writing thank you cards after birthday and Christmas. Its good practice for writing and GPs like getting handwritten notes from them.

I will most definately be doing personalised thank yous after our wedding next August. Thats one time where I would expect a more formal thank you.

My post was regarding a friend ive known over 20 years. She lives far away. I post gifts at Christmas, birthdays thst sort of thing.

I do it because I like to give gifts. I sometimes get a card from her. My issue being, she very often doesn't even acknowledge the gift.

I don't expect thankyou notes or cards but a text would be nice.

Not only do I expect a thank you, but I have always received one. I am surprised with the number of people on here who say they don't expect a thank you. I imagine this means you also don't say thank you when someone sends you a gift?? If that's the case, I wonder, without any aim to judge or criticize, just out of curiosity: did those who raised you teach you to say thank you? If so, at what point did you stop saying thank you?

I would generally - the only people I don't send thank yous to are the family members who are NC but still send the children presents.

I agree with you PeppasNanna that she should send you a thank you, even if it's just a quick text/email. However, I find that a lot of people are so busy these days that they don't have time for good manners... I haven't had problems with people not thanking for gifts, but I have had a lot of people who don't bother to RSVP when invited to a party.

of course, it's basic manner. Why wouldn't you?

Thank you face to face when someone manually gives you a gift (apart from a wedding). Letters are then unnecessary.

A quick written note to thank and at least acknowledge you 've received the parcel! For very close family, a text or an email, anyone else a letter.

My kids have been taught to write thank you letters since they were 2 (at least a drawing until they know how to write obviously).

We always thank anyone giving gifts either face to face or by text/email/Skype or ask family to pass on the message if they don't have technology (we have family abroad). We don't bother with letters as my side of the family are nearly all local or tech savvy and it costs a fortune to send letters to country where dp's family leave.
I do expect a thank you, yes. Not bothered about the form it comes in but I would like to be acknowledged. We don't have a lot so anything we give has either put us into debt or we've had to save for. A thank you is the least they can do, and vice versa if the giver is financially challenged - the least I can do is thank them for sparing what little they have.
We gave my cousin £50 as a wedding present 6 years ago and have never been thanked or acknowledged. We lived on next to no food for weeks to save that. I am still very pissed about it. She is well aware how broke we are and I see her regularly.

It would be nice, my SIL 1 always made her 3 write to say thanks, it was nice to get even though sometimes it was in feb I don't really expect a formal letter, but a call or text saying thanks would be nice. Sil 2 never bothered (her's are younger) and I never knew if they liked what I bought or not, as I live 350 miles away and are not there to see them opened, a bit annoying when I put a lot of thought into something I hoped they would like. if I was there to see then no a thanks at the time is enough.

I'm always astonished there are people who actually care about thank you notes. Yes it's nice when someone says thank you, but if they don't, can't you just chalk it up to "they must be busy" rather than judging them?

I wouldn't give a gift in the expectation of getting something back, even a thank you note.

Yanbu

It's courteous and shows good manners.

Few agree these days though....unfortunately.

Yanbu.
I can't believe that someone could think a thank you isn't required. Especially in this day and age when a quick text or Facebook message takes seconds. it's just bad manners to ignore a gift, no matter how busy you are.