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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to think this is a little unfair/wrong

37 replies

Cutecat78 · 02/12/2015 18:57

I have accused a colleague of sexual harassment (some of you may remember my thread).

Did my interview and statement today and was asking about the process.

Apparently if it goes to disciplinary he can cross examine me - I feel a bit freaked out about this AIBU to think this is a bit much?

And would have further put me off reporting if I had known....

OP posts:
strawberryblondebint · 02/12/2015 18:59

That sounds awful. But you did the right thing reporting. Are you in a union? Can you take someone for support. I would ask this to be moved to employment issues where someone may have some experience.

hiddenhome2 · 02/12/2015 19:00

I would think that you should take legal advice. Can you afford a solicitor who specialises in employment law?

Are you in a union?

Original poster
Cutecat78 · 02/12/2015 19:00

I am in a Union.

OP posts:
hiddenhome2 · 02/12/2015 19:03

You need to contact then asap. Being cross examined by the prick doesn't sound right at all. Perhaps they're trying to put you off taking this further.

Original poster
Cutecat78 · 02/12/2015 19:18

No - they have been really supportive.

OP posts:
wasonthelist · 02/12/2015 19:27

That is nuts - totally unfair.

GoApeShit · 02/12/2015 19:29

Holy shit. How could he be allowed to cross examine you? That's awful. And I'm really sorry you're in this situation.

DraenorQueen · 02/12/2015 20:36

I think I'm in the same profession as you. I was a witness in a similarly serious case. The women had the right to cross examine me but chose not to. Her union rep did (he was one of the top reps in the union) and it was not fun. He was slimy, disingenuous, tried to trip me up, discredit me.

But she still lost.

NickNacks · 02/12/2015 20:38

Innocent until proven guilty. Every person has the right to defend themselves and part of that will be cross examination of any witness.

hiddenhome2 · 02/12/2015 20:44

Yes, but to actually be able to cross examine her himself? That's unacceptable.

pluck · 02/12/2015 20:44

It would be better for his advocate to do it: pretty provocative to allow an accused to have direct contact with the accuser!

NickNacks · 02/12/2015 20:48

I'm not saying it's nice, just that in this country, as things stand, you can defend yourself against prosecution, there's no law that say you have to have counsel to act on your behalf.

hiddenhome2 · 02/12/2015 20:55

Oh, God, stop nitpicking. Of course people know that, but it's of little consolation to the victim Hmm

This isn't the corner shop owner asking the ten year old if she's nicked some sweeties Hmm

NickNacks · 02/12/2015 20:57
Hmm
Nydj · 02/12/2015 21:00

It's an internal disciplinary hearing so you can refuse to participate at the actual hearing but just be aware that your evidence will carry less weight if you cannot be questioned on it.

pluck · 02/12/2015 21:01

This isn't a legal situation, though, but an internal company disciplinary. Therefore, there wouldn't necessarily be a cost to any advocate(s), and the company could keep things from escalating if the two protagonists were not set at one another! After all, they may have to cross paths at work afterwards!

Catsize · 02/12/2015 21:02

In a criminal case, he wouldn't be allowed to.

Goingtobeawesome · 02/12/2015 21:02

He can't cross examine you. Someone else will have to ask you the questions.

quietbatperson · 02/12/2015 21:17

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

CatMilkMan · 02/12/2015 21:33

In my work place him "cross examining" you would happen and has happened before. If you are uncomfortable with this then speak out and tell them if it's like my experiences they should be able to put some of your fears to rest.

CatMilkMan · 02/12/2015 21:41

Just to add to my last post his cross examination in my place of work would be him asking you pre approved questions he has written down in front of senior members of staff (not a huge amount of people) if he asks questions in an intimidating or unfair way it would be noted and count against him and you have every right to complain if you think his questions or statements are unfair.
Please try to have some faith and not worry. Brew

Andrewofgg · 02/12/2015 21:43

catsize In a rape or DV case he wouldn't - in any other he would.

Andrewofgg · 02/12/2015 21:44

When he gives his version do you want to ask him questions about it?

hedgehogsdontbite · 02/12/2015 21:44

In a criminal case, he wouldn't be allowed to.

Has there been a change in the law then? I have vague memories of a case from way back where a rapist cross examined his victim for hours during his trial.

Andrewofgg · 02/12/2015 21:49

Yes, it was changed in 1998, in rape and DV cases. If he persists in acting in person the court nominates a lawyer to do the cross-examination. In the magistrates' courts the fee that lawyer gets is higher than the fee he would get under legal aid for doing the whole defence, and if you can see why I certainly can't!