To absolutely abhor the term 'good girl' used as a compliment towards adult women?

[InTheBox]

I might be over-thinking this but my manager is notorious for this.

This morning it transpired that I've achieved and in fact gone over my targets for this month and I'm set to do the same again next month according to some reports released today. I'm obviously happy with this, as are my team but my parade was rained on when manager casually strolled by my desk and said "Well done Box, good girl, you're on the way to the top you are."

It's great he recognised my work but I am not a girl and I do feel as though he's saying in some concealed way that although I'm doing well, I'm still just a girl and not quite ready to play in the big leagues with all the important men (All of management are men) if that makes a difference.

A part of me should be happy that he's recognised my work and that hopefully come the review I can use this as leverage for a promotion, pay rise or whatever but I still feel as though it's quite condescending. I'm pretty sure this has been raised before but I'm just still reeling from this morning.

My boss calls all of us "the girls". eg he might say to a client "I will get one of the girls to sort that out"

It makes me laugh as us girls are between 48 and 62. He has never called any of us a "good girl" to our face though.

But have you ever actually said "good woman" to anyone celtic? I agree it ought to be used, but don't think I've ever used it, or heard it.

Maybe I'll try and use it tomorrow and see what reaction I get

Oh I'd love that .... Don't even want to think about what that says about me.

By the way, OP, you definitely should use beating your targets as leverage for a promotion or pay rise. I'm sure I read something recently that found that one of the reasons women were lower paid is that they were much less likely to ask for higher pay! It shouldn't be required, imo, but if that's how it works, that asking for more money is the way to get it, then you should definitely ask. Congratulations on beating your targets by the way :)

This happened to me last week - I simply replied that I'd not been a girl for at least 10 years (am 28) and that I would appreciate not being called a girl, since I am a woman. He turned bright red and apologised - but at least by not making it subjective or about how I felt patronised he couldn't argue with the facts of child/adult distinction….
it's not ok….

I just did. I'm text. Funnily not had a reply.

I use ‘good man’ and ‘good woman’ to children and adults. Never realised it was weird.

I think for me it depends.
If somebody is at least somewhat older and like a father to me? I would not mind that person calling me a good girl.

If it is a person I do not like? I would not want them to call me good girl.

Sometimes call my dh good boy but it is a bit in jest and he likes it. He used to call the people who served with him in the military his boys.

I had a client who called me a "Good girl" but he did actually call my boss a "Good boy" so I took it as the compliment intended. YANBU in general though.

There’s a client in my work who, when he sees me with the colleague I sit beside, calls us ‘girls’ and when speaking to other people in front of us refers to us as ‘the girls’. There’s just something inherently sexist about him, I can’t put my finger on what it is apart from the girls thing, it might be that he has no problem coming to our desks and trying to distract us for half an hour at a time when he can see we’re both busy, but with male colleagues he would never dream of inconveniencing them by taking up too much of their time. I was this guys solicitor and the lady beside me is in her fifties and for some reason it really angered me. Luckily he’s the client of another department now, but when I know he’s coming in I try and avoid him at all costs and have resorted to giving him blunt one word answers and then carrying on working.

OP YANBU I find this loathsome, worked with someone who did that too, it's patronising and condescending. It also suggests that you do well at your job not because you are skilled and committed but because you are the equivalent of an obedient child. It's particularly unforgiveable when it comes from another woman, which I have also experienced, it's the same phrase I use when my dog does something that she's been trained to do. Although now she's older tend to say 'good dog.'

Does the manager say 'good boy' or 'good lad' to the men? I bet he doesn't.