To refuse to stay up all night helping DH for another year?

[MerryMrs2]

A little background – DH of many years (no DCs) is self-employed. His work is very seasonal, which in practice means he swans about all spring/summer doing his hobbies (watchmaking, tinkering, etc) and then in November/December it’s absolute bloody madness. After two months of running himself and his staff completely ragged he has to make all kinds of last-minute deliveries and is without fail away all night, from dusk quite literally to dawn.

In theory I don’t object to this, DH can’t control when he is needed and many families rely on him. But this can be very stressful for me as I’m left to tie up all his loose ends alone.

For example the staff party always falls to me, which as they inevitably break into the peppermint schnapps and start rocking around can be very stressful. He also leaves me in charge of all the animals, most of which are very large and tend to be disappointed at having been left out of the delivery party, plus all of the clean-up from months of messy work in DH’s workshop. And I have to be essentially on call ALL NIGHT to check his list twice and give directions as despite YEARS of doing very similar routes DH is a hopeless navigator.

I do all of this for no pay (just as a favour to DH?). Also our business involves a lot of administration (list making) and research on the global toy market, very important work that I often take on throughout the year in addition to managing the gingerbread houses, baking cookies, keeping animals washed and fed etc so I do feel I’ve pitched in enough already. I’m now getting on a bit and the thought of staying up all night by the phone with a hundred drunks in the next room is just too much to bear.
I want to tell DH to sort out some other plan, but he says he can’t trust anyone else. Can I just refuse to help? AIBU because I don’t think I am??

[1horatio]

Nope... same

[whyohwhy000]

[NoahVale]

i clocked it immediately

i am super clever though.

[1horatio]

What kind of a hint was the Schnapps?

[GoneGirl1234]

Same until I got to the bit about looking after the animals

[PunkrockerGirl]

You need to absolutely LTB. And tell him to look after his own reindeer animals.
Merry Christmas

[Meluzyna]

I only twigged when it came to animals "tend to be disappointed at having been left out of the delivery party"... nice one, MerryMrs2,

And "bah humbug" to you too, LiviaDrusilla

[Agerbilatemycardigan]

LT Beardy chimney hopping B

[70isaLimitNotaTarget]

Well, I'm not buying it, I've seen the M&S Mrs Claus Advert and you're bloody gorgeous in a cableknit sweater and fugly socks, even more so in the red dress.... AND you get to drive a Snowmobile, a Helicopter and a snazzy Sports Car.

Stealth Boast or what

[Joanna0685]

Ask Mama Middleton

[Miserylovescompany2]

I get it MerryMrs2

[The2ndSpartacus]

Only when I got to the bit about checking lists twice did I cotton on.

Well done OP

[Tenshidarkangel]

That took me way too long to cotton on too!

[arrrrghhwinehelpswithteens]

Raines100 make sure DH packs plenty of blankets in case you end up roughing it in a stable or something.

OP I heard that the Hogfather helped out one year with deliveries - could he do the party for you so you get a break? And definitely get a TomTom but get NORAD to pre-programme it with his route.

As fore checking the list, what about investing in some stock control software? Then it's just a case of scanning each present as you load it on the sleigh And it gets rid of those awful elves that hide around the house as we can report in electronically.

Anyway hope you have a better night this year And if you think the staff are going to be bad, slip a sleeping draught into the nibbles. That will guarantee you a peaceful night!

[MeetMeAtMidnight]

Sounds like you've let yourself become a bit of a doormat, OP. No is a complete sentence. If his business is so lucrative he can afford to take months off fannying about watchmaking, he can afford an executive administrator and a bloody party planner!

[1horatio]

Doesn't the Christmas man have helpers? The little red ones,,,? Or don't you have these?

According to my grandma he also has a goat to ride on. But seeing as goats can be suuuper stubborn... poor you ;)

[BillyNotQuiteNoMates]

I think you need to cancel any cheques

[Giggorata]

"Also, you want to watch out for that Eartha Kitt." Bono

[IAmNotAUserNumber]

I don't understand - you say he funds all this out of his pension? And goes off all night delivering toys?
This rings alarm bells for me.
Pension - sounds like he's rapidly depleting YOUR shared resources. Do you have access to the bank account? Do you have your own income?
Toys - forming friendly relationships with children really isn't on, I'm not saying he has ulterior motives, but an outsider might accuse him of grooming, or worse?
I suggest you post in the relationships board. Too many people on this thread seem to find the whole thing funny, you'll get better support there.
You really don't have to put up with this "hero complex" guy, especially Christmas.

[Dionysuss]

Ffs it took me far too long to get this.

[BlackNo1]

😂

[aceorchard]

FML . Come on OP; from my point of view this is purely attention-seeking, taking away from other posts on the serious issues some parents might have around this time of year who feel alone and need support.

I, for one, don't find this particularly amusing. Go have another sherry and hit the hay please. If you really are Mrs. Claus then you've got a horribly busy day ahead of you tomorrow.

[mum2Bomg]

Get a cleaner (hugs).

Are you sure he isn't having an affair?

[DustyMaiden]

He only comes once a year but empties his sack in your stockings . Mans a sexual deviant