To refuse to stay up all night helping DH for another year?

[MerryMrs2]

A little background – DH of many years (no DCs) is self-employed. His work is very seasonal, which in practice means he swans about all spring/summer doing his hobbies (watchmaking, tinkering, etc) and then in November/December it’s absolute bloody madness. After two months of running himself and his staff completely ragged he has to make all kinds of last-minute deliveries and is without fail away all night, from dusk quite literally to dawn.

In theory I don’t object to this, DH can’t control when he is needed and many families rely on him. But this can be very stressful for me as I’m left to tie up all his loose ends alone.

For example the staff party always falls to me, which as they inevitably break into the peppermint schnapps and start rocking around can be very stressful. He also leaves me in charge of all the animals, most of which are very large and tend to be disappointed at having been left out of the delivery party, plus all of the clean-up from months of messy work in DH’s workshop. And I have to be essentially on call ALL NIGHT to check his list twice and give directions as despite YEARS of doing very similar routes DH is a hopeless navigator.

I do all of this for no pay (just as a favour to DH?). Also our business involves a lot of administration (list making) and research on the global toy market, very important work that I often take on throughout the year in addition to managing the gingerbread houses, baking cookies, keeping animals washed and fed etc so I do feel I’ve pitched in enough already. I’m now getting on a bit and the thought of staying up all night by the phone with a hundred drunks in the next room is just too much to bear.
I want to tell DH to sort out some other plan, but he says he can’t trust anyone else. Can I just refuse to help? AIBU because I don’t think I am??

[Jux]

Surely the Soul Cake duck could spell you for a bit? DH must trust him, surely?

[PoorFannyRobin]

Shutthatdoor, I love your post!

[Krampus]

MerryMrs2 It's been a year ! I will have a word with him later this month.

[imip]

very good....

[lighteningirl]

If he's not getting minimum wage I think you should both go on strike. Definitely unseasonable hours.

[londonrach]

Op. Agree with others get dh a tomtom. I wouldnt believe him when he says he hasnt drunken and driven. Not sure what the laws are being drunk in charge of a sledge.

[ShebaShimmyShake]

I didn't get this until I got to the end of the third paragraph. I love you.

[dontcallmecis]

Is your husband that perv who is always spying on my kids? Checking to see if they've been naughty or nice?

I must admit, I kissed him one year. I think one of the kids saw me.

[zeetea]

I love this , took me a while to twig too! I was wondering why everyone was so cheery about this poor woman doing all this work!

I hope you get a whopping big present for all your hard work

[MadauntofA]

Hi OP, Sorry. You are going through this rough patch. Do you actually know where your DH is when he is "tinkering"? I saw him in our local department store this morning. He may have been buying you some lovely perfume to thank you for all your hard work, but I got the feeling it was more than that. If you don't want to confront him directly, you could try asking one of the elves as I saw a couple of them hanging around with him.
I think it is time you took back some control in your relationship and started wearing the red trousers!

[Tiggeryoubastard]

Now this bloke - he's an abusive drinker.
He came to mine last year (uninvited, I may say, covered in black dust and reeking of sherry). He looked at me and not once, not even twice, but THREE fucking times he called me a ho. Twat. LTB.

[Tiggeryoubastard]

Oh, an then asked if I wanted to see what was in his sack! Fucking perv.

[TheSecondOfHerName]

The beard would be a deal breaker for me...

[TheSecondOfHerName]

Also, he spends a ridiculous amount of time loitering in shopping centres.

[GiddyOnZackHunt]

Oh deer. It does sound like you two are poles apart on this. His attitude would sleigh me. You're going to have to sack him off for the sake of your mental elf. You will gift yourself a breakdown.

[warmwinterboots]

God, LTB. Sounds like an absolute nightmare.

Seriously, though, thanks for the laugh OP!

[PoorFannyRobin]

Just love this thread! Everyone is so clever! Too cute!

OP, now I feel bad for the animals who don't get to go on the delivery! It's such a good thing they have you to help them through the disappointment year after year. Poor dears!

[Tiggeryoubastard]

Giddy

[Sallyhasleftthebuilding]

Claus are out tonight! Bells should be ringing OP! Hes being totally unseasonable
If you cant rein him in, look after your elf.

[coffeeisnectar]

What do you get from this relationship? I think a mini spa break would do you good, give you time to think.

And get him to the doctors. His blood pressure must be sky high. Seriously overweight when I my dd Sat on his lap last year.

[GiddyOnZackHunt]

Ah yes of course it must be time to lobby MNHQ for a change to Am I Being Unseasonable?

[StarkyTheDirewolf]

I read quite a lot of the OP before I twigged. Quite a lot.

Me too

Very good though, I audibly chortled which is a grown up 'lol' according to my dsis

[overwhelmed34]

I smell troll.
Or should I say elf...