To prefer to quietly worry about abandoned shopping bags rather than suffer mild social embarrassment? [title edited by MNHQ]

[Houseofmirth66]

I took my children to the cinema last night and a woman scooted across the row in front of us, deposited her shopping bags on an empty seat and then went and sat miles away on the other side of the cinema. I asked the girl siting next to the bags if she knew the woman and she said no. Whilst I knew the bags were quite unlikely to contain a bomb, I did spend the whole film thinking I really should call the usher to check it out - but didn't! AIBU to literally rather die than look slightly silly in front of a load of people I don't even know. Bearing in mind that the kids would have been taken out too.

[pretend]

Oh god, threads like this make me wonder why I ever re-regged.

MN is a depressing fucking place to be these days.

[VestalVirgin]

AIBU to literally rather die than look slightly silly in front of a load of people I don't even know. Bearing in mind that the kids would have been taken out too.

Yes, you are.

But don't feel bad, it is socialised into all of us. Many women would rather risk being raped than be "rude" to a man. We are, in fact, constantly told to be nice and accomodating and ignore very real dangers.

The attitude "Yes, I do get to slightly inconvenience other people if my life is potentially at risk" is not ingrained in women.

Next time this happens, report it - unattended bags are illegal in many public places, so it doesn't really matter whether there is really a bomb in there or not.


I once had to wait for hours for a train station to be cleared of an unattended suitcase, which police then found out only contained dirty laundry. No idea who reported it ... but you can always console yourself with the fact that whatever you do, you cannot cause worse discomfort to people than that person did.
(And I am not angry at the person who reported it but at the person who forgot it. You just know not to leave your luggage unattended nowadays.)

[SlaggyIsland]

I found the OP quite amusing.
Agree there's a bit of po-facedness going on here.

[pretend]

I'm not pretending to be an expert on the science behind this, but if other people had also witnessed the lady putting the bags on the seat, there would have been some diffusion of responsibility, which makes you less likely to report it.

The idea that others have seen = others will do something plus "if they don't think it's wrong maybe I'm overreacting".

Also, there the politeness aspect. Like a PP said, many women end of raped because it's "not polite" say no, make a fuss, scream and shout etc.

Plus general malaise. Honestly, I think a sizeable number of people would think about reporting it, then have no further thought after "meh". And in 99.99999999% of cases nothing happens.

[Helmetbymidnight]

I think I would have shared NotDAvidTennant's analysis.

a) I doubt a terrorist would deposit a bomb and then go back to their seat to finish watching the film, so I reckon you were safe.

Nevertheless, I would have gone to get staff and told them. (Ever since I hit 40 I've become a huge busy-body).

I suppose it depends which film it was.

[longingforfun]

I once reported an abandoned suitcase in the middle of the concurse at heathrow. A porter came along and just picked it up and took it away

[ThroughThickAndThin01]

I think it's a shame the title has been amended.

It's (was with original title) so very relevant to today.

Sad it's been reported.

[Houseofmirth66]

Really didn't intend to be goady. Just musing about why a fear of looking foolish can trump good sense. In this case I felt the inference in the packed cinema might have been that I thought the woman in question was a terrorist. Rather than someone who (weirdly) preferred not to sit with her own shopping. Although some of the posts on here suggesting that by doing nothing I am practically colluding with ISIS did make me laugh out loud. I'd be careful never to say I almost died laughing on here as mumsnetters would be accusing me of being a selfish drain on the NHS.

[MaudGonneMad]

Gawd what a dry-shite place Mumsnet has turned into.

[DickDewy]

Even the amended title makes me a bit sad, MN used to be a laugh.

[reallybadidea]

Oh fgs, the amended thread title is more offensive than the original one.

Oh, for the good old days, when mumsnet used to be pretty much unmoderated.

[nancy75]

Miserable fuckers are out in force today, mumsnet the place that humour forgot...

[Helmetbymidnight]

Why wouldn't you sit with your own bags? Hmmmm

[MaudGonneMad]

Maybe there was a really stinky cheese in there?

[Houseofmirth66]

Definitely something fishy : )

[Helmetbymidnight]

One of those furry toy things that woof?

[kickassangel]

One time I was traveling out of Belfast airport, and I saw a man open his briefcase, fiddle around inside, leave it on top of a bin then walk away.

Just at that moment our flight was called, and the place was packed, but not one member of airport staff in sight. When I got to the gate, which was the first place I saw someone in uniform, I told them about the empty briefcase left there. She shrugged, and carried on checking boarding passes. When I questioned her, she said she'd report it once we were all on the plane!

She seemed so blasé about it. I had assumed that Belfast City airport would have been really quick to react, but apparently not. Maybe she had such confidence in their security checks that she knew the briefcase couldn't possibly contain a bomb?

Anyway - the 'it can't possibly be a bomb, I'll just carry on as normal' mindset is obviously pretty strong.

[wanderings]

Waits for the very serious thread: AIBU to be annoyed by the person who reported an unattended bag and cut our film short, and ruined my DC's birthday treat?

Give the OP a break. People on MN have been burned to a cinder before for starting threads about reporting men seen near schools or playgrounds, and been accused of being scaremongering busybodies.

[cleaty]

OP you are right that fear of making a fuss stops people reporting things. I have read about fires that destroyed buildings, not being put out because nobody reported a tiny fire when it started as they didn't want to cause embarrassment. It is a recognised phenomena.

[MadeMan]

I'd have searched her shopping bags for a big bag of Skittles and maybe a can of Pepsi to enjoy the film with.

[Potatoface2]

i was at gatwick airport in sept.....some woman kept leaving her bag to go into the toilet....it freaked me out.....the armed police had words with her....i truly cant believe people can be so stupid to even think about leaving bags unattended anywhere!

[DeirdreDoo]

Gosh, MN seems to be full of the 'offended by people being offended' this evening.

Can't you all go over to NM and let us be offended in peace?

[pretend]

We were here first

[DeirdreDoo]