To prefer to quietly worry about abandoned shopping bags rather than suffer mild social embarrassment? [title edited by MNHQ]

[Houseofmirth66]

I took my children to the cinema last night and a woman scooted across the row in front of us, deposited her shopping bags on an empty seat and then went and sat miles away on the other side of the cinema. I asked the girl siting next to the bags if she knew the woman and she said no. Whilst I knew the bags were quite unlikely to contain a bomb, I did spend the whole film thinking I really should call the usher to check it out - but didn't! AIBU to literally rather die than look slightly silly in front of a load of people I don't even know. Bearing in mind that the kids would have been taken out too.

I think the OP is getting some flack here and i dont think she is being flippant

I think that she is right, how many times have you seen a bag and not reported it because you didnt want to look silly?

(why would that woman do that though, well weird)

Oh for goodness sake the pofaced ness on this thread! Op I totally get what you mean I would have thought the same and done the same (ie nothing). It's cultural maybe - things have to be pretty extreme before the majority of English people "make a fuss"

this is in very poor taste OP

Deirdre put it well... It offends me because I have many friends in the army (dh is army) and I know several who have been "blown up", I won't go into the details of their injuries.

It winds me up when someone is so flippant about something so serious, especially given the current climate!

When I was young my washing machine was in a kind of outhouse attached to the back of the house. I went to collect my washing in a t-shirt and knickers, in winter, at night, and the door slammed behind me. I stood shivering for over an hour waiting for my then boyfriend to arrive home rather than climbing over the fence in a state of undress and knocking on my neighbour's door. It was below freezing and another hour would probably have done me in. I'm sure it can't just be me.

I grew up in the 80s and remember bomb scares were very frequent. There was even a bomb scare when I was at university and we were evacuated because of an unattended bag. Also, there are also announcements pretty much every time you use a train so I don't think you're being sensitive or unreasonable. I'd probably have reported it.

I don't think the op meant to offend... Just perhaps more thought should have been take over the title

I think it's a relevant title and topic OP.

I think that's the nature of the great British public, they'd rather not speak up!

I reported a suitcase left at the bar I worked in. To be fair I don't know if i would have usually but there had been an incident on the uni campus the day before so my mind had been 'focused' if you will.

Luckily it just belonged to a dosy twat who owned up to it just before evacuation started and the bomb squad were called in.

In the OP's situation i wouldn't have thought bomb but i would have asked the woman or taken the bags over to her.

Oh for goodness sake. Lots of POness on this thread.

It's not in poor taste, it's very relevant to our times.

The thread topic isn't in poor taste, the thread title is what personally have a problem with.

if there are seriously adults on this thread who would rather turn a blind eye than face the embarrassment of reporting something that in all probability is NOT suspicious, then god help us all. We all need to be a lot more vigliant.

the poster who mentioned suicide belts/vests is very right though, a bomb is not often an abandoned bag these days. Though I did hear about an abandoned bag left outisde a council building this week and the caretaker looked at it before just kicking it out of the way. very wise, not!

And she wouldn't literally rather die than suffer some social embarrassment.

Well apparently she would! I wouldn't ignore unattended bags in this day and age, especially in the scenario the OP describes. So her OP title is absolutely true!

I see everyone has had a sense of humour bypass today....

I know exactly what you mean OP. There has actually been a study of people's reactions to public fires. A large majority walk past and say nothing even when there's a really obviously dangerous fire.

Bizarre. I wonder if it's a uk thing?

As a former met police officer I can't say I recognise this 'British culture of not reporting' that's being made up on this thread!

I think to sit there and look at unattended bags while Britain is highly likely to suffer a terrorist attack is beyond the pale of selfish stupid behaviour. You should be ashamed of yourself.

I think the OP has serious issues. Anxiety or some kind of martyr complex.

I don't think you would rather get blown up, though. One of my friends survived the 7/7 bombings and is still dealing with the trauma of this. I don't think you'd really rather get blown up, would you.

To be fair MissFitt you wouldn't know the statistics of how many unreported incidents there are. Because they arent rported.

Ive been suspicious of several suitcases seemingly on their own on trains, and not reported them.

This was before 'Paris' though. But I'm still not confident I'd report and 'make a fuss' (my words, not quoting anyone)

I don't think it's a British thing. It's perhaps a personality thing, but in that case, if you've known about it since the fence incident, why haven't you done anything about it?

It's not at all embarrassing to alert a clerk to some unattended bags. It would very embarrassing to survive a bomb incident, if that's what you thought it was, and then have to explain that you saw the bags but didn't want to report them and therefore other people were hurt/died.

There have been personality studies done on crowds - you're supposed to shout "fire" instead of "rape", for example, because people will respond en masse to something that is threatening their life, and more people walked past someone shouting rape, thinking someone else would get involved. But that's the opposite of what you've done here - you saw something that potentially could have hurt or killed everyone in the cinema, but didn't say anything to save some public embarrassment that didn't exist.

Are you usually anxious? Could it be social anxiety, and some of the techniques to deal with that could help? I have chronic anxiety and am very shy, but I'd mention this, absolutely.

Well Pretend, it's such a hilarious topic I don't know why we all aren't ROFL ing

I haven't had a sense of humour bypass at all, thanks. Neither am I POfaced!

Not one person on this fucking earth would "prefer to be blown up than suffer some mild social embarrassment."

Do any of you think all the people being blown up in Syria prefer it to being a bit embarrassed? What about all the soldiers and civilians in Afghanistan and Iraq? How about those who were blown up on 7/7? Yeah, you're right OP, they'd have much rather been a little bit embarrassed!

this is very interesting on the psychology behind being a bystander or intervening in an emergency situation which happens in public.

It focuses particularly on a murder in NY witnessed by 38 people where no one intervened.

Essentially, what separates the bystander from the intervenor is very tiny and barely noticeable differences in situation. We can all fall either side of the line at any time though.

Well done to those posters on this thread who are convinced of their heroic character any time any place. Go you.

a) I doubt a terrorist would deposit a bomb and then go back to their seat to finish watching the film, so I reckon you were safe.

b) There are some seriously miserable fuckers on Mumsnet these days who won't be happy until this forum is reduced to discussing rainbows, unicorns, cute likkle kittens and all things non-'offensive'. Perhaps Netmums might be more to their taste?

For heaven's sake - the PO brigade are out in full force.

As an aside, I did make the effort at Miami airport recently, to alert staff to an abandoned bag and they could not have been less interested. They looked at it, shrugged and walked off.