To be annoyed that I had to help with breakfast this morning!

[ShamefulPlaceMarker]

Every weekend we make more of an effort with breakfast, rather than the usual toast or porridge we'll have a fry up, sausage &egg sandwich or something.
When I do it I just get on with it, sort it all out (tbh, not that hard!), lay the table and make the brews. Only calling for people when it's ready.
We never get a lie in, so I count it as a bit of a take turns thing so the other can chill out, play with kids and what not.
So why, every time my dh offers to make breakfast (it was sausage & egg sandwiches for 4 this morning) does he ask me to come help about half way through to usually butter bread/make the brews, and if I don't want to he gets cross and says I'm just sitting on my arse not doing anything (I'm usually on my phone or flicking througj a paper/mag of some sort. This morning I was playing a game on my phone with my 6year old.
I got in a huff as I may as well have just done it all myself if I was going to end up in the kitchen anyway, and he got in a huff because I was being selfish and not willing to help.
I had to point out to him that I nevee ask him to help me as it's nice to take turns.

YABU. If you lived in a famine zone in Africa you would have to walk 10 miles just to fetch water for the brew. And 10 miles in the opposite direction for the firewood to boil it on. Meanwhile DH would have spent three days hunting down the pig for the bacon, and probably got slightly gored in the process of bringing it down, so you'd need to tend his wounds as well as making all the breakfast.

Oh wait: you don't, so it's completely irrelevant. As is the work division of people in single parent households, given that you don't live in one. So let's try again.

YANBU to hold onto the fond but clearly misguided belief that taking turns means you each get a morning off breakfast-making duties when there are two of you to share the burden - in theory at least. Men are supposed to be capable of running the world, or at least, in most cases, to hold down responsible employment. If they can't even run a bacon sarnie for four it's a bit worrying really.

I'm finding it hard to be sympathetic TBH.

Just don't do it.
Ask him for help when it's "your turn"
Be grateful it's not always your turn.

diddle I guess it's because in my head I saw it as a bit of time off the other person.
We help eachother out with meals alot during the week if needed, and no issues. I just feel that if he's going to offer to do breakfast as a treat on the weekend he then can't expect me to come in and do half of it (and wash the dishes afterwards, which I don't mind).

Thanks annie

No I do get where you are coming from-especially if it happens every time!

I'm thinking for example that if you weren't within shouting distance, he wouldn't be so desperate for help that he would come & find you?

And saying that you are sitting on your arse & being selfish just isn't on-especially if he takes full advantage & does nothing whenever you do this breakfast.

And yes if he has offered to do it then he should be prepared to.

Sometimes timings go a bit wrong or something has been forgotten & some help would be great & I think it's OK to ask & be helped even if the other person does it all alone iyswim.

Well I need to apologise for being a moaner, posted last night after a very long day / 5 years struggling to do everything alone and I know I tend to veer towards the self pity. So sorry for crashing your post OP, I need to learn when to keep my trap shut :-s. Mumsnet should be where you can moan to others in your situation and find support so I'm sorry I took some of that away.

Didn't name change for this thread, I'm a lurker and don't generally comment so no one would know me, or in real life either! I was going to start a new topic along the lines of new name, but I couldn't explain what I wanted so went and got wine instead :-)

Once again, I'm sorry for wearing my judgypants all
X

That's okay ineed sounds like you have a few problems going on xxx