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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be pissed off with so called MH professionals

40 replies

FlowersAndShit · 27/11/2015 12:37

I'm agoraphobic, also have mild autism, ptsd, anxiety and depression and can barely go to the local corner shop on a good day.

Supposed to be meeting MH support worker for the first time to go to a women's group in town for those with anxiety issues. Support worker only has 4 sessions with me due to funding, agreed to pick me up to go to the group as there's no way I can handle public transport alone.

Support worker just phoned to make sure everything is ok for today and asks me if I can meet her in town with everyone else because she's already in the other side of town and it would be easier.

They just don't fucking get it. I've been like this since I was 13. I'm trying to access support and forcing myself to do things, but now she's trying to move the goalposts and I'm spiralling back into feeling depressed again. I feel like a burden and i'm not worthy of her time.

OP posts:
gamerchick · 27/11/2015 12:40

What did you say to her when she said that?

Original poster
FlowersAndShit · 27/11/2015 12:41

I'm refraining from telling her exactly how I feel

OP posts:
spidey66 · 27/11/2015 12:41

I understand why you're pissed off with her, but you're unreasonable to tar all mental health professionals with the same brush. Spoken like the CPN that I am.

BTW we're pissed off with funding cuts as well and not being able to offer as much as we can to clients.

ZoeTurtle · 27/11/2015 12:42

Ugh, I'm so sorry. You are NOT a burden, you just need services that are shockingly underfunded. You made a huge step in accepting help and in even thinking about going out today. You should be so proud of yourself.

I had a similar but not AS ridiculous experience - one of my biggest anxiety problems is talking on the phone, and I was offered either a phone therapy appointment or nothing at all. When I plucked up the courage to call (took me DAYS of worry in my pre-med days) nobody answered. Repeatedly. Then I got a snotty letter discharging me for non-attendance.

Mental health "care" in this country is appalling Sad

KeepOnMoving1 · 27/11/2015 12:44

Yanbu, it's like she's totally missed the point.

Original poster
FlowersAndShit · 27/11/2015 12:48

I was looking forward to making a friend, now i'm sat here crying and feeling anxious and depressed.

OP posts:
howtorebuild · 27/11/2015 12:52

Flowers How do these people get into this profession?

Original poster
FlowersAndShit · 27/11/2015 12:54

I think they enjoy the idea of fixing people with MH issues, but can't see beyond that

OP posts:
howtorebuild · 27/11/2015 12:55

They can't make you neurological? Has she written a plan that allows her to move goalposts and suit her rather than you?

howtorebuild · 27/11/2015 12:56

Neurotypical

Unreasonablebetty · 27/11/2015 12:57

I suffer with many of the same issues, the mental healthcare in this country is appalling.
I have also not had enough support from the professionals so I can really empathise with how you are feeling.
I tend to travel by taxi everywhere that I go.
Do you have a mind in your area? We have one locally, I haven't been brave enough to go but I have seen that they have some wonderful courses on offer.
I may be wrong in this belief but I personally believe that many of the tools we need to access are easier to come by from mental health charities than the NHS at this moment in time.
For anyone who reads this. Please understand I'm not being down on the NHS, it just seems that monetary issues within the system are affecting the level of care people receive, and unless medication is absolutely necessary I avoid the mental health team and try to do all I can from outside resources, as there isn't much they can do at the moment.
I know a lot of Drs hands are tied by how much things cost.

yorkshapudding · 27/11/2015 13:03

YANBU to be feeling let down by this particular support worker who does seem to have spectacularly missed the point. Could you phone up and speak to the service manager? Explain that you feel it would be really beneficial for you to attend this group but you need support to get there and that it was really anxiety provoking for you when the plan suddenly changed at the last minute. I know it's extremely difficult to assert yourself when you're feeling depressed but I think it's important that the people responsible for your care know how today has affected you. Let them know that you're willing to help yourself but pushing yourself to get out and attend this group but you need their support to make that happen.

Original poster
FlowersAndShit · 27/11/2015 13:16

and to top it all off, I just asked my landlord if he'd let me have a cat and he said no.

OP posts:
howtorebuild · 27/11/2015 13:17

Flowers I think no pets is standard in rented accommodation.

Original poster
FlowersAndShit · 27/11/2015 13:18

he's a family friend and before I moved in I asked him and he said maybe. My stepdad spoke to him and told him not to let me have one because he's a spiteful twat.

OP posts:
Original poster
FlowersAndShit · 27/11/2015 13:23

I'm do disappointed, I was expecting him to say yes. A cat would be great company for me

OP posts:
howtorebuild · 27/11/2015 13:24

Did you check the tendency agreement before signing, regarding pets?

Original poster
FlowersAndShit · 27/11/2015 13:31

yes, it was a standard contract. He even obtained the property i'm in illegally ffs.

OP posts:
Original poster
FlowersAndShit · 27/11/2015 13:32

the tenant before me left te place like a shithole. Landlord did it out and it's spotless with me, I've made it my home. I'm probably going to hand my notice in and move out.

OP posts:
howtorebuild · 27/11/2015 13:32

Next time, I suggest you don't tell your family or their friends about your tendency and get a tendency that allows pets.

Have you experience of caring for a cat?

Nilgiri · 27/11/2015 13:34

Can you prepare yourself a little script and call back the support worker (or service manager):

"I think there's been a misunderstanding. I'm agoraphobic, and the support I need from the support worker is help getting to this meeting, which I feel will be beneficial to me. Once in the meeting I may not need much support, until the time comes to travel home again. Without someone accompanying me, I will not be able to get to the meeting."

LuxembergerQueen92 · 27/11/2015 13:37

Love, Is there any way you can get a taxi to this appointment? You are taking the first step to helping yourself with your issues and I know from experience how hard that first step is. My daughter suffers from anxiety related OCD
and the level of care from NHS has been shocking - not their fault at all but the cuts in funding have hit MH care hard. We now pay for private counselling for her and are fortunate to be able to do so but for people unable to go privately, well, I feel it's a ticking time bomb and in 20 or so years time we will have a huge problem with adults who were unable to access care when they were teenagers. Please go if you can.

Original poster
FlowersAndShit · 27/11/2015 13:40

how no, but i've done some research and was hoping to get an elderly cat from a rescue.

Luxem she rang me and we had a chat, she's agreed to take me just this once.

OP posts:
howtorebuild · 27/11/2015 13:42

Have you thought about volunteering in the rescue centre? Less stress spending time with animals than humans.

Nilgiri · 27/11/2015 14:06

Oh that's good news. For today at least.

Hope you enjoy the meeting.