WIBU…to ask MNers that go to the gym whether..?

[Redskyatnight01]

You ever feel uncomfortable or like you are being watched/ leered at by the men?

I joined the gym a couple of months ago and force myself to go 3 x a week but I am beginning to really hate it.

I am a pretty paranoid and self-conscious person anyway really which doesn’t help but the whole time I’m in there I feel like men are gawping, I promise this isn’t an ‘I’m up my own arse and think everyone fancies me’ post, but I do feel them staring and I then get paranoid that I look like a total pleb on the cross trainer or something.

I thought to myself the other day ‘You’re just being paranoid, don’t be ridiculous’ but then last night a man passed me to leave and as he did, literally stopped, looked me up and down and then winked at me and walked out. WTAF?! It’s a gym, not a nightclub, AIBU to think I should be able to exercise and use the gym I’m paying for without being subjected to leery perving?! If I wasn’t self-conscious before then I bloody am now!

It’s just making me feel really uncomfortable and self-conscious and it’s getting harder to force myself to go.

I can’t be the only self-conscious female gym goer surely? Do you just block it out and get on with it?

super where I am the women only sessions are for all women, whatever type of costume. Some wear burkinis but most wear normal costumes, but all are welcome.

I guess that now I am def 'middle aged' I find this is one of the unspoken advantages of aging, as if anyone looks twice at me it is almost certainly for the technique and nothing else! Though TBH there are some pretty dodgy 70-odd year old men in our gym who tend to stare- though I just assume they have poor eye-sight Really though with overt harassment it is actually a crime- and should be formally complained about to the management in writing if necessary, though I would tend to vote with my feet I guess.

I would recommend going somewhere else, but as you get a discount there, I get why you wouldn't want to.

I never had this happen, but I am the least perceptive person ever, a guy in a gorilla suit could walk by and I would not notice.
Also, the gym I go to is mostly frequented by elderly ladies and gentlemen who want to do something for their health. (Which is one of the reasons I go there - it is all so professional, medical and unfunny that the typical judgemental women and leering men I fear would be in an ordinary gym don't go there.)

As far as I know husband these are for the Muslim community women and not Western women of other faiths and culture, I don't mind that at all.

I think if it was just staring in the pool I'd maybe be uncomfortable but get over it.... These men were simply making fun and making comments to get reactions out of us so hence in English and Bangladeshi - they looked innocent if they were challenged but knew exactly what they were doing and this was fun to them. In fact i wouldn't put it past some of them to time their swimming sessions with what time the aqua aerobics classes were on at! I rarely saw Indian/Bangldeshi women in the pool (seen them in other pools) so they're probably discouraged from being immodest and swimming with random men. They do know "exactly" what they're doing re standing very close and next to you and staring (like right down your swimsuit) when you shower poolside. the thing was this place also had saunas etc there even though council run but there's no way I'd feel comfortable going there after that experience in the pool or poolside, and I'm pissed off at that, I really could not exercise and relax in peace.

I suppose the gym/pool policy would be if I complained would be that they're targeting Muslim/Indian/Bangladeshi men if they spoke to them about their behaviour (racism in reverse as a white Caucasian woman had complained) but after the second time I went I really wasn't comfy going again!

These men were simply making fun and making comments to get reactions out of us so hence in English and Bangladeshi

It's called "Eve teasing" it's a major problem in India, Bangladesh and Egypt. It's highly irritating. However I love going out with my mother who speaks quite a bit of Arabic and understands more, she lets them have it.

I used to go to the gym (I now just run outside)and I did get this a fair bit. But I think I also used to do it too, it was partly that I'd see someone (usually female) on a treadmill etc and be impressed by what they were doing or their shoulders or something, and/or I'd just sort of zone out and I'd be staring into the area they were in. Nothing more too it.

A girl who used to stare at me in the gym a lot I ended up getting friendly with and she told me she used to end up staring at my thighs when I was in the treadmill because when she just wanted to get off because it hurt, she'd say to herself "stay on then maybe you'll get thighs like that".

I think in gyms it's more likely to be admiration/motivationor a trance rather than lecherous. However, there are arseholes everywhere.

I also think that mirrors make it worse, because you forget that just because it's not direct eye contact, they can still see you. It's not like wearing sunglasses!

of course men use gyms as pick up joints! the gym i used to go to was rated in metrosexual as being excellent for discreet older men to get blow jobs -yuck- which is why i no longer go.

A man came up to me in the gym and said 'you've got a nice fat Arse for such a skinny girl I'm tempted to pinch it' I was lucky enough that my dad was next to me In the gym when he said it!

Some people are creeps but it wouldn't stop me going the gym

TheFitfatty I was wondering about that!

Thanks for clearing that up....!

It just seemed totally bizarre and the men seemed bored... Not like they were there to swim at all!

Strangely enough I was mentioning this the other day to a British Iraqi friend of mine and she said the same as you... If she was in the same situation she'd curse them/let them have it in Arabic, she didn't mention Eve teasing.