To find my 4yo incessant talking unbelievably irritating...

[TurquoiseHeart]

Don't get me wrong I love my DD to pieces. But she talks constantly, repeating the same stuff or just talking random bollocks.

I make a point of not ignoring her and chat back to her or whatever but sometimes it is unbearably annoying and I just want to shout in her face to shut up (I have never done this btw).

I find it draining and exhausting and very annoying (mostly when I'm tired myself).

AIBU and a horrible mum or are there others? Also is this a 'phase' and will she grow out of it hopefully soon ?

Dadwashere maybe you don't have a talker and thats why you don't get it. My 'talker' DS once chatted completely non stop for the 9 hour drive coming back from holiday. He did not stop. I would say we listened and discussed with him for 5 hours, tolerated his chat for 2 and then requested quiet time for the final 2 as we needed a rest.

He is not our only child. The others need a chance to be heard too. It is hard when he is on his third consecutive rendition of the same pokemon cartoon plot and his little brother is asking for a drink.
I really believe its a personality thing.Just like some kids love dancing / drawing / horse riding, some kids love talking.

I also take exception to that dad. I have been a sahm for nearly 8 years. To have 2 big talkers and be talked at constantly is draining. And they get plenty of attention and conversation actually. It's very rare I tell them to please stop for 5 minutes (and it's usually when I am exhausted and have a headache) because I don't want them to think I'm not interested in them.

wellthen there is a huge difference in saying "can you please be quiet for 5 minutes" or " I don't need a running commentary of yet more facts about cars" to telling a child they are boring or annoying which is what a couple of posters have said. Surely you can see the difference. I would never tell my child they are boring or annoying and I wouldn't say it to an adult either.

ds can chat for England

he becomes totally obsessed by something and that is what he will witter on about for hours and hours

can no longer zone out as I am questioned about what he is lecturing

and yes I do at times tell him I need some quiet time it lasts for all of two minutes if I am lucky

its a family trait, my dad, my sister, my niece and apparently me all can chat on and on for the sake of it

I know this thread is ( sort of) 'lighthearted' and I do get it - DD was a chatterbox, but I'm envious, actually. DS who's autistic stopped talking when he was two. He's 16 now. No more words, ever. So my advice is while they're driving you round the bend, be thankful they have the gift of language

Thanks goodness a man is here to explain that we women can't joke around about our children to relieve some of the pressure. We must be serious about being mothers all the time. We must love every aspect and cherish every word. What did we all do before men were here to explain parenting to us.

x-posted. tall I know. I am grateful just tired sometimes.

Yes to the indulged kids who feel they need to be heard all the bloody time at school! I don't think it does any harm to tell a child politely that not everyone enjoys talking about the same things, excuse yourself for a break and then go and hide somewhere for a bit! I don't think being constantly listened to helps with expectations for school etc?

my 4yo ds does this, and everything is preceded with "mum...." and he waits for an answer before saying "mummy...mummy.... mum....muuuuummmy [YES ds...]....I just tooted" and that's it. he even said the other day on the way to work "I sure can talk a lot cant i mummy!"

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Tall, I hear you. I know this thread is fun but I have a 27 month old with severe speech delay and I honestly long for the day when I get to hear her voice, or better still, want her to be quiet, as she's talking so much. All kids her age are chattering away and it breaks my heart she's silent.

As you were.

I imagine that people probably assume that DS1 is starved of attention and conversation then, which is a far from the truth as possible. I have spent many, many hours patiently (and not so patiently) explaining that we don't need to hear every thought that enters his head out loud, that there are times when he should not be speaking at all, and that it is very rude to interrupt and talk over people. I really, really have. And yet he persists in nattering non stop all day bloody long. His teacher does know that I do take the time to educate him and remind him constantly of this. He seems to find it physically impossible to hold a thought and express it in a few minutes instead - he ends up in tears as he feels like he's going to explode (I'm aware this isn't normal at age 10).

DS2 is another talker, though at 3 he is better at waiting to speak when I ask him to. Two streams of consciousness at once all day long is enough to drive anyone insane. I engage them in conversation though I don't just ignore them all day!

Both my boys have loud voices which carry a long way too, which doesn't help. I have spent a lot of time getting them to practice their 'Indoor Voices', not to much avail.

Nice to know I am being judged by teachers and other parents though

I think as parents/family we are best placed to tell children they are annoying. If you continually say 'i need some quiet time' a child will take that at face value. How do they know that it means 'i am bored of this conversation'?

I have this kind of conversation with my kids (in my class) a lot, especially with younger ones. They become upset because someone told them to shut up, moved away or wouldn't let them play and when they situation is discussed it turns out that they were singing to themselves, tapping, repeating themselves or reading their work out loud. Equally often, when other children have asked them to stop they simply say 'no, why should I?'

Often the child responds tearfully with 'but I like to sing'. Singing is positive and fun, why should I stop? A teacher calmly explaining 'Jessica that is a little bit irritating while we are trying to work, could you stop?' is far better than other children shouting at them.

Children need to be explicitly taught social skills just like anything else. It is far better that they are taught them by people who love them, no matter how much they talk!

My son is 22, as a child he talked rubbish non stop. At 16 he stopped communicating unless absolutely essential for 4 years. Now he talks again non stop, mostly about sport which I have little interest in. On balance I prefer the talking than silence

Exactly like that yes! He never just says 'mummy [and then whatever it is he has to say]' he has to wait for me to say 'yes' before he continues. I've spent a morning before now challenging him to see if I could get him to just carry on without me saying 'yes ds' - but we ended up in a really awkward stalemate just looking at each other. Drives me bloody insane. But as a pp has pointed out I'm lucky that he can talk so I'm grateful.

They never just say mummy, do they? They say 'mummy, mummy, mummy, mummy, mummy, can I tell/show/ask you something?'

I quite often say 'no, you can't' (not nastily, DD finds it funny) but it makes no difference. I've also tried saying 'only if you don't add all those extra words in front of what you want to say'. That doesn't work either. She is 9, FGS. When does it end?

O no! Ds1 was an early talker, now at 3 he doesn't stop, I've had various comments from people when we are out about his speech and communication, whilst am very proud, omg he doesn't shut up! He even tells me what he would like from Santa by reciting an advert he's seen on tv. Looks like he's not going to stop any time soon. I must learn to switch off more.