AIBU to think if you're going to confront someone, do it properly?

[PowSuperDog]

I just nipped into a petrol station and a woman got out of her van, approached me as I walked back to my car and said:
"What gives you the right to drive out in front of an ambulance when they're in a rush?"

I opened my mouth to respond and she (I kid you not) wagged her finger in my face and said "naughty girl! Don't do it again!" before running the three yards back to her van. For the record, I am thirty...

I told her she should probably mind her own business as she was still chuntering (whilst desperately trying to get her van door open)

I told her I couldn't hear what she was saying but that if she had a point to make, I'd be happy to discuss it - but by that time she was back in the safety of her van, having hoiked her bosom, told off the 'naughty girl' and single handedly saved the day.

Now, without turning this into the longest post ever, I had to pull in to the petrol station to get out of the way as I was blocking where traffic getting out of the ambulances way would go, IYSWIM. The ambulance was at least a mile away and there is no way my actions would have hindered it.
However, I appreciate it was a judgement call - I have seen that area snare up in seconds as its also surrounded by houses and genuinely believe getting out of the way was the wisest move. The road frequently has ambulances on it as is on the way to the hospital and I have seen ambulances having to wait whilst people get themselves out of the way before now.

ANYWAY, am I being U to despise people who 'confront' people the way the woman in the van did?

If you're going to confront someone, for god's sake commit to it! I really don't understand people who psych themselves up for a confrontation on a point they clearly feel strongly about but don't expect a reaction and then run away, tail between their legs, when they get one!

She was so self-righteous but had nothing to back it up with and actually ran away from me when I wanted to discuss it!
What possesses people to do this? Her voice was shaky, like she'd been rehearsing what to say...

AIBU to really hope the next person she decides to 'confront' just happens to be a complete thug who gives her a mouthful of abuse? Although I suspect she would never approach someone who looks gobby - clearly my 'girlish' appearance fooled her and she had to make a hasty retreat

cheesy excellent! That is precisely the reaction I would have had from DH!!

Shortly after we got together, I walked out of a restaurant because our (ironically, nachos ) arrived with a dirty great big long black hair baked into them and the waitress not only didn't apologise when I pointed it out, but didn't seem particularly surprised

I was calm and polite but firm and we left - DH was mortified and still speaks about it to this day hahaha! God only knows what he'd have done if I'd had to face your BMW wanker...

A guy in a car once tried to push in on a junction off a motorway whilst I was on back of DH bike. Was about half a foot from hitting my leg and crushing it when he stopped. He started giving us abuse. We hadn't even seen him as loads cut in there at the last minute. He was then really apologetic after my DH gave him abuse for nearly taking my leg off lol

Another, a taxi driver, cut in at a junction and DH gave more abuse. Guy got out of his car and DH couldn't as we were in old Peugeot with sliding doors and it jammed so we just shook fists at the guy haha

DP and I were travelling in the car when a man in a Jaguar cut us up. My DP flashed his lights and beeped the horn, As we came off the motorway the man slammed his breaks on in front of us and got out of his car in a temper heading toward our car, He was really tall and stocky- My DP jumped out of our car immediately he saw the other man jump out of his car, and he speedily headed towards the man, who promptly turned on his heels, jumped in his car and drove off!
I think the man thought he would charge over and have a go at my DP, so he was shocked to see a very short man heading towards him looking very angry.
I thought my DP was going to be slaughtered! But as he said, arseholes get a shock when you don't take their crap.

Dh will get out the car if anyone flashes or beeps him. Usually it's because he hasn't gone forwards and stopped in a yellow hatch bit. In London you do get fined for stopping on them.

Last week an impatient shit in the car behind us thought i should have gone past just as the light turned red and beeped and flashed a V. Dh got out, the driver done his window up and locked the doors. He had four friends in the car with him and none of them could tell him why they beeped. They all looked terrified.

It definitely boils down to who's most prepared to make a scene.

This^^

Most people assume the person they have chose to be a tit too, will not want to make a scene and so let them get away with it.

Unfortunately for most that try it with me.....I am not afraid of making a scene. I can out scene most

The restaurant owner from the restaurant next door to dhs restaurant threaten to punch him (over a parking issue that wasn't dhs fault) next time I was down there I told what I thought of him and what I would do to him if he touched dh.

He apologised and then told me that my dad had already been (dad part owned the restaurant) in and said pretty much the same as I had.

Dh had laughed it off

Oh I have been VERY surprised at my occasional middle-aged rage. I become a flame-thrower: short and deadly. I'm as surprised as anybody.

I think I need the MN assertiveness training course.

The best I have is a standoff with a school mum for a parking spot near the school. I was silent, she was shouting at me. Little did she know that the drop curb she was trying to park over was actually my driveway. She screamed at me and I just went inside and had a cup of tea silently and it clicked that it was my home and I can park there if I want to.
Watched her and her three children drive off when she sheepishly got back in the car.

I'm desperate for someone to try to start a confrontation with me, just so I can go all Minion on them and say "BA-NA-NA".

OOoo some of these are so annoying!

A good ten years ago now, my car broke down. I managed to get it as far as a bus stop, but it was parked askew and had the exhaust pipe hanging off.

I phoned the AA and sat waiting, feeling sorry for myself with my lights flashing.

The bus stop filled up. I sat there for about another 20 minutes (the bus must have been late). Just as the bus arrived, one of the passengers paused in order to tell me off for having parked in the bus stop.

I very politely replied, 'oh no, sorry, I've just broken down.' I've regretted my politeness ever since. And I think her stupidity has also grated on me a fair bit. What did she think I was doing?

I am enjoying these stories.

A couple of years ago, I was driving around a car park looking for a space when a group of yoofs in some shitbox came charging up behind me and tailgating me around the car park while shouting and flashing their lights at me. They probably assumed that because I was a woman on my own, I'd be intimidated or something but I'd had a shit day and was in no mood for this type of nonsense. I jumped on the brakes, flung myself out of the car, stormed up to the driver's window and yelled something like 'do you want me to open the boot so you can climb in, you fucking twat?'

It was the funniest thing ever. There were five kids all about 18 looking at me in abject horror and fear before the driver threw the car into reverse to escape, nearly crashed into a pillar and shot off towards the exit.

I once jumped onto the tube just as the doors were closing - which I know is annoying but it wasn't massively busy. As I did, my (small) bag swung off my shoulder and gently tapped a middle-aged smartly dressed man on the arm. I said sorry. He just tutted and spent the next five minutes sighing, holding his arm and giving me death stares until eventually I said: "do you want me to give it a rub?" I have no idea what he wanted me to do to make amends for my tiny transgression.

I used to have 2 dogs and used to walk a particular route most days. One resident objected to me walking past his house, no idea why.

One day he had an estate agent with him and as we walked past he said in a very loud voice "Of course the trouble with this road is people bringing their dogs down here to foul." Well, I was having none of that,I was a responsable dog owner! I shouted back that I always cleared up after my dogs so he could piss off. He then shouted "Well this is a private road you shouldn't be walking down here anyway. We're going to have gates put at the ends of the road." Oh good I said, that will prevent any confusion about the sign at the top of the road which says Public Footpath as I waltzed of leaving him spluttering and the estate agent holding in laughter. He clearly thought a young woman alone wouldn' t say anything! Fool.

Interestingly, I mentioned his comments to some of his neighbours who I was on chatting terms to and they all complained to me about his dog being allowed to roam and fouling. After our little confrontation I caught him letting his dog foul a school playing field and I was almost run over by him cycling on the pavement. He tried to be friendly after those incidents but I treated him with the icy disdain he deserved.

Ronnie Pickering gets around .

Ooh, just remembered another one!!
A couple of weeks ago we went to a cafe at a popular tourist spot. It wasn't very busy, just the 4 of us and a couple of older ladies.
One lady left the room and went to the toilet, which was in the corridor and after she got back ds(6) said he needed the loo. I asked DH to go with him to make sure he found it ok and as they walked out one of the olde ladies muttered under her breath " so hopefully he won't rattle the handle like he did when I was in there"
I'm afraid I rather lost my rag as DS had been in the room with us the whole time. I said " actually is wasn't my son" she looked very shocked as I don't think I was meant to hear her or perhaps she didn't think I would React.
She replied " well someone was rattling the door handle" and I pointed out that he hadn't left the room and if she hadn't imagined the whole thing it must have been another customer other than my son.
They left quite soon after that - if my children misbehave I WILL deal with it but I was pissed off with her PA shite!!!

The last time someone yelled at me was because a woman apparently decided that she would be the "line leader" for the bus stop and all others would get behind her. There wasn't even a line, we were all just standing around. She just wanted the seat right before the wheelchair spots where the chairs lift up, because they had more leg room. I might have found it funny to sit next to her on the bus and play up how lovely the leg room was. We both had to move anyway because a person in a wheelchair got on and we had to lift up the seat we were sitting on for him to park his chair.

So did you pull out in front of an ambulance?

Just asking!?

I remembered another (I promise it doesn't happen that often)

On a Saturday lunch time I took my mum and my kids to the restaurant that dad and dh owned for lunch. Dd was 8 and ds was 11 months. Both kids were well behaved. Ds was playing with a spoon (not hitting the table, just waving it about babbling) no shouting or anything.

The elderly man in the next table seemed very offended that a baby was near and kept sneering. As it was Dhs business I just ignored him.

When the man came to pay he said to my dad (obviously not knowing it was my dad) that he shouldn't allow children in a grown up restaurant (it wasn't a restaurant just for grown ups) and that he expected to be able to have lunch without listening to 'stupid chatter from a child that can't speak correctly'. And other such insults.

Dad lost his shit. Told him he was banned and then dropped the 'this is my restaurant, they are my grandkids. They and any kids are welcome here but you are not'

Man scuttled out.

Dad is actually really quiet and it takes a lot to push him into angry. But when he does get there it's special.