AIBU to think if you're going to confront someone, do it properly?

[PowSuperDog]

I just nipped into a petrol station and a woman got out of her van, approached me as I walked back to my car and said:
"What gives you the right to drive out in front of an ambulance when they're in a rush?"

I opened my mouth to respond and she (I kid you not) wagged her finger in my face and said "naughty girl! Don't do it again!" before running the three yards back to her van. For the record, I am thirty...

I told her she should probably mind her own business as she was still chuntering (whilst desperately trying to get her van door open)

I told her I couldn't hear what she was saying but that if she had a point to make, I'd be happy to discuss it - but by that time she was back in the safety of her van, having hoiked her bosom, told off the 'naughty girl' and single handedly saved the day.

Now, without turning this into the longest post ever, I had to pull in to the petrol station to get out of the way as I was blocking where traffic getting out of the ambulances way would go, IYSWIM. The ambulance was at least a mile away and there is no way my actions would have hindered it.
However, I appreciate it was a judgement call - I have seen that area snare up in seconds as its also surrounded by houses and genuinely believe getting out of the way was the wisest move. The road frequently has ambulances on it as is on the way to the hospital and I have seen ambulances having to wait whilst people get themselves out of the way before now.

ANYWAY, am I being U to despise people who 'confront' people the way the woman in the van did?

If you're going to confront someone, for god's sake commit to it! I really don't understand people who psych themselves up for a confrontation on a point they clearly feel strongly about but don't expect a reaction and then run away, tail between their legs, when they get one!

She was so self-righteous but had nothing to back it up with and actually ran away from me when I wanted to discuss it!
What possesses people to do this? Her voice was shaky, like she'd been rehearsing what to say...

AIBU to really hope the next person she decides to 'confront' just happens to be a complete thug who gives her a mouthful of abuse? Although I suspect she would never approach someone who looks gobby - clearly my 'girlish' appearance fooled her and she had to make a hasty retreat

The running thing really pisses me off. I hate being robbed of the chance to retaliate

Garlick I think I may love you

Commuting in London seems to attract these people - I was walking through the station at speed the other day and felt like I'd walked smack bang into a boulder. Realised it was someone who had walked into me sideways (neither of us paying attention) so I started apologising, as you do.

She gave me the worst look ever, was muttering swearwords furiously (under her breath of course) and then caught up with her husband and started staring daggers at me.

I dealt with her by very loudly and repeatedly asking her if she was OK - she scuttled off after she realised that I was prepared to make a scene

I must live such a sheltered life - I've never had a confrontation in 47 years! I'd panic if someone had a go at me for something, then get home and be furious with myself and be full of really clever things I could have said!

quietbatperson that's hilarious! Were they at least embarrassed?

quiet it is so weird. Some people are on the offensive all the time, but are also really pathetic so must be really frustrated with themselves

Garlick I love confusing people when they go looking for an argument and get a toddler retort back. I know you are but what am I is one of my favs, I called an impatient huffer a grumpy gus once that was brilliant.

Unfortunately I'm not quick or clever enough to come up with smart answers I just resort to kindergarten!

Who cares about the wetness of a swimming pool changing room floor?

My mum gets cross when I go home for the weekend and have a hot shower and make the bathroom steamy. There is a window. It will unsteam over a bit of time. Mum has her own bathroom and doesn't need to go into the family one!

I'm sorry to report I didn't commit today when I confronted someone. I was walking along the pavement in an area that it's IMPOSSIBLE to find parking and a woman parked across two spaces pet hate . Completely none of my business but something got the better of me and before I knew it I got myself involved - smiling, i gestured to her to move forward; she looked at me quizzically, I bent down and said through her window, as friendly as you please, that she could move forward bcs she was parked across two spaces. She revved up - not the car - and was clearly going to have a go and I so cba with all that so I scuttled off moved on along.

4/10? No, extra point for not wagging my finger so 5/10 I reckon. That's fair to reflect the half-arsed element.

Was talking to mum about this, this morning.

She mentioned when we went to London last year and a woman bumped into her. Mum was stood out of the way, not moving. Woman rushed past and knocked her.

Woman said 'are you going to apologise?'

Mum said 'why would I apologise for you knocking into me?'

Woman's face went red and she walked off. About 20 yards down the road she shouted 'no need to be rude' and we started laughing.

And when one of mums neighbours was a complete cow ah. Hated mum because she complained that her husbands work vans were blocking the road every morning.

Mum went out of the house on to the drive to get in the car. Woman stood on her drive sticking her middle finger up at mum. I then came out and the woman jumped in the car and drove off as I walked towards her.

I assume as mum is older (woman was my age) she wouldn't stand up to her, but I would.

My thinking is either do it and deal with it. Or just don't bother.

I was walking in the very long connecting tunnel at Kings Cross, having just come back from Gatwick, I had three bags one was a rolly suitcase and two children. I was very conscious of trying to walk as close to the wall as possible so that people could pass and a woman just huffed at me as she had to go around me. I just flipped and shouted what do you want me to do as I gestured around all my packing and children. She did look a bit embarrassed and muttered sorry

Finger wagging is maddening. Once I was about to cross the road, looked book ways, stepped into the road, and a car came along a side road and made an unsignalled turn onto the road I was crossing so I had to jump back on to the pavement.

The wanker driving shook his head and wagged his finger at me.

Argh! I was very cross and might have made a finger gesture of my own.

I hope you're not going to do anything naughty today, op. (Wags finger)

Some of these have given me a good chuckle!

Enjolrass that's typical that she'd pick on your mum because she's older

Ilive I have been on my best behaviour (always am ) and haven't encountered any of the this silliness today HOWEVER it did remind me of a time a few weeks ago:

There's a long residential road near me with cars constantly parked all the way along both sides of it with jeeeeeust enough room for two cars to pass each other going in opposite directions, but only if both slowed down to 2mph, so the polite thing to do is to just pull in when you can and let them pass.

I was pootling along the other day when a car starts coming directly towards me from the other end, in the middle of the road.

I am not alarmed by this as he has numerous spaces on his side to pull into and I have none, except one which is much, much further up. So I carry on, on my side, within the speed limit, big smile of face, hand poised to thank him for letting me pass, but he doesn't.

He sails past all the open spaces on his side, coming directly at me and not even trying to keep to his side of the road, and, just as I finally make it to the only space on my side (he is about 10 feet from my car) he zooms past and is absolutely puce with rage - shouting, gnashing his teeth and gesturing and I actually saw spittle flying from his mouth.

This was a well-to-do looking middle aged man with a neat moustache in a well-kept estate car, which made it all the more hilarious.

How I wished I'd wagged my finger at him... his head would have exploded.

Good.make sure you keep it up. Or I'll be putting on the naughty step.

I have never been one for public confrontations..Once when I saw someone leaving their dog's poo on the pavement I gave my opinion but that,s been it.

Then came my middle age rage. I let rip at a guy who was insisting on talking to me at my elbow while I was ignoring him at a cashpoint. As he got even closer I snapped and yelled at him to "Back off"" and more whilst holding up my hand like I was on Jerry Springer. It was a whole new side to me I didn't have access to before! I followed through down the road as well as he'd wanted to have the last word.

I don't plan on making it a habit so your all safe!

My nan lives in a village where one of the roads has cars all parked down one side so basically becomes one lane. Standard procedure is that the car which actually belongs on that side of the road goes first unless the other car is already half way down the road.
My nan was on the right side (or should I say left?) when a posh old lady in a convertible comes hurtling down the road and stops in front of my nan. She then gestures and because she's got her roof down nan can hear her say "back good woman go back".
Nan has her window down so yells "its my right of way, you go back!"
Woman just repeats herself so nan just puts her handbrake on and turns her engine off. Then she folds her arms and just sits there till eventually the other woman mutters something and reverses back up to an empty space to let nan pass.
My nan commits!

Hahahaha tuilamum your nan is awesome

It definitely boils down to who's most prepared to make a scene.

DH is very patient and lovely and laid back and would normally rather stick pins in his eyes than cause a scene

He's only ever let rip twice in all the time I've known him and both times it's been to stand up for someone who was being bullied. Both times the bully was silenced immediately - the second time he got a round of applause from passers-by

I love middle-age-rage - I look forward to it immensely. Also when I am 80+ and I can give these people the middle finger/swear at them and they won't say anything because I'm a little old lady...

Somebody cut me up the other day in my car. He was a boy racer type and I am (so I'm told) posh looking and have a 4x4.
Took the wind right out his sails as he yelled at me and I wound my window down and calmly said " shut it fuckwit" before putting the window back up and slowly driving off.

PowSuperDog she sounds like she has far too much time on her hands, complete busy body. You did completely right thing by sounds of it in actually thinking ahead re. ambulance not going into last minute panic.

I had similar other day, went to supermarket, huge queue for spaces, 1 P&C space free so we nipped into it. DS began screaming head off as tried to get him out, so DH said why didn't I leave them both in car while I nipped inside quickly. I am also pregnant by the way, so technicality my "child" was also with me. Didn't stop a woman winding down her window out shouting out "you should take your child with you" she then tried to drive off but was stopped by a car pulling put. I walked up to her car and said "sorry, what was that" she went bright red, couldn't make eye contact and said " I was only saying you should take your child with you" raging hormonal pregnant woman here replied " well, he is currently screaming his head off with a bad cold, so thought wed leave him inside while I run in for 5 minutes, is that ok with you? Or is there anything else about my life you'd like to comment on?" she was mortified, didn't say anything back.

I should mention that my nan was early 70s at the time and all of 5ft nothing

tuila we had that once down our road except the woman who was in the wrong opened her fish and chips and proceeded to eat them, the woman who was right was a friend of our neighbours so we took her out a coffee and the two of them had a stand off for twenty minutes. The woman in the wrong could have reversed back two car lengths to get into a passing gap having driven past the gap knowing there was nowhere for her to go whilst our neighbours friend would have had to reverse all the way down our long tight road.

In the end the police came out, made naughty woman get out the car and reversed it back for her, then gave her a stern telling off (unfortunately no finger waggling) for wasting everyone time. Brilliant evenings entertainment!

YES! My favourite so far is the 'shut it fuckwit' from Hoppinggreen made me laugh out loud and I am eating a pear - not pretty

Peas well done you for being so calm and collected. Why do these people start fights when they're not prepared to finish them?

One of our neighbours (Mr A) was rude to our other neighbour (Mr B) once - little did he know Mr B had once been in prison for attempted murder and had very little regard for the law.

Mr B ended up kicking the wall down between their gardens and spent an entire Sunday afternoon, pissed and dressed in only an England flag-sarong, cutting down the ash tree in Mr A's garden and throwing the branches at his house.

Now, that did escalate further than any of us thought (we were agog and passing the popcorn for most of the day) and I'm not condoning his behaviour necessarily but Mr B was always very polite to my mum, even though he was a raving alcoholic ex-con and Mr A's wife had been extremely rude to both my parents, so, y'know, karma...

I have told this before, but once I was in the car with DH and our DDog. DH was DP at that time and we had only been going out about 5 weeks. I had a terrible cold and my ears were blocked and I could hardly hear. We lived near a one way street where alot of people would take the risk to drive the wrong way as it would then be a short cut to the main road. We were driving down this street (the correct way) when a dick in a BMW came hurtling down the wrong way, stopped right in front of us and gave us the finger and shouted abuse. I lost it. I just went completely mad, screaming at him like a banshee. He got out of his car and started walking over to us when DDog stuck his head out the window and started barking and growling. He quickly got back in his car and reversed out the way.

We pootled along in silence for a few minutes (DP not saying a word, but sitting in petrified silence) when i realised that my screaming had actually popped my blocked ears and I could hear again. Result!