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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

WIBU to stage a bra intervention in the changing room at M&S? (lighthearted!)

77 replies

Feefifofam · 22/11/2015 20:14

DM was trying things on and in the next door cubicle a woman was having a bra fitting.

Bra fitter tells her (loud enough to hear without me earwigging) she'll go and get her some 36Ds to try on. Also couldn't help but hear she was telling her to put it on the tightest hook, which is also completely wrong for a new bra.

I'd seen her go into the cubicle and she was very slim and probably no more than a 30 round her back.

I ummed and ahhed about saying something when she left the cubicle. Both DM and I used to wear completely the wrong size bra until I found out how to measure properly. DM went from a 38D to a 32C and I went from a 38B to 34D and the difference is amazing.

So when bra lady left the cubicle, she gave me a smile so I jumped in.

Felt slightly embarrassed as I gushed about measuring yourself properly, how the M&S method is wrong etc and she was really interested and didn't look at me like I was odd Grin

I pointed out to her that I wear a 34D and I'm a size 16 and relatively small chested so no way was she a 36D. Really hope she gets a decent bra. She said she was off to get a tape measure Grin

I did do it out of earshot of the bra fitter!

OP posts:
Seren85 · 23/11/2015 01:19

M&S bra fitting is a joke. I've lost about 60lbs and my old bras were clearly the wrong size so off I went to get measured. The lady looked at me, told me what size I was and brought me one to try. Four boob effect! I wish someone had stepped in!

Mari50 · 23/11/2015 07:50

I emailed marks complaining about their bra sizes a couple of years ago and the woman who is in charge of underwear answered me personally and arranged a bra fitting, she was great and gave the right advice as you'd expect(fits on the first hooks, go to the others as bra loosens, the bra shape that suited best etc) so something obviously isn't filtering down or the training isn't adequate.

Mermaidhair1 · 23/11/2015 07:56

You have done a great service to the sisterhood.

Original poster
Feefifofam · 23/11/2015 10:16

Regardless of whether this lady reacted well, I think it is really horrible to go up to a random stranger, let her know you've been listening in to her private bra fitting and let her know your thoughts on her underwear choices

She was being measured for a bra in a busy ladies' changing room (where most of us are wearing bras!) not having an intimate gynaecological procedure!

When she came out she was holding the 36D bras in her hand, even if I hadn't heard the very loud lady telling her what size she was, she wasn't trying to conceal the size they were when she bought them out of the changing rooms.

No joke, I bet she was a 30G/32F.

OP posts:
Bounced · 23/11/2015 10:21

Fee I wouldn't worry too much about what theycallmemellowjello says. I've noticed the name on quite a few threads recently and it's usually a rather minority viewpoint. I don't usually notice names, but hers stands out for this reason.

IwishIwasinNewYork · 23/11/2015 10:23

Oh my god some people on here are so po faced!!

I would have shoved my head round the curtain and not waited for her to come out, but I'm Jewish and we're like that!! ;-)

You have no doubt changed her life with your valiant interfering!

MaccaPaccaismyNemesis · 23/11/2015 10:23

I buy a 38b, but do have to wear it in so it's really comfy- is that right? Almost seem too tight round the back but after a few wears and washes they are perfect on the loosest band. M&S are crap at measuring as they put me at a 38D which I then purchased. Only fits me when hugely pmt'd so out of 31 days, I wear it for 2! I am an idiot though because I still bought it!

dementedpixie · 23/11/2015 10:34

You're probably a 34D or something! Have you tried measuring using the link given eaerlier to get an idea of your size? What dress size are you?

ZoeTurtle · 23/11/2015 10:41

Three pages too late but sorry, I got the tight/loose hook thing totally mixed up!

Janeymoo50 · 23/11/2015 10:43

I've never been measured correctly in M and S - Debenhams was far better and had Playtex cross your heart bras which were/are incredible re fit and comfort (albeit over £30 a bra!).

mynotfinkso · 23/11/2015 11:32

M&S tried to put my teenage daughter, who weighs less than 7 stone, in a size 32b bra. I took her to bravissimo and she came out with some in a comfortable 28f!

ShebaShimmyShake · 23/11/2015 12:50

M&S have never had the first clue about how to fit a bra. They are diabolical.

Twowrongsdontmakearight · 23/11/2015 13:00

I fell for this a few years ago and bought a couple of £££ bras from Bravissimo when I went along with MIL. Bloody agony so I ended up taking it off in the car on the way home from work.

Very happy in my M&S 40C. Fits like the illustrations say it should and I could sleep in it if I wanted!

FeliciaJollygoodfellow · 23/11/2015 13:45

The last time I went to M&S for bras they were so rude to me. I needed a breastfeeding bra, they took one look at me and told me my bra was too small. I know, says I, I have just given birth - and hence the reason I am here.

I was then dismissively told we don't have your size try somewhere else. Then turned their backs on me.

Rachel0Greep · 23/11/2015 14:18

Was measured once in M&S, wrong size recommended to me. Luckily, I didn't purchase anything. Went the next day to a different department store, got a proper fitting, and would never return to M&S for fitting.
The lady in the shop I went to (in Dublin) was so helpful, and advised me about the best type to suit, and answered any questions really helpfully.

OP, YANBU. As you said upthread, it was in a busy fitting room, not during a gynaecological procedure Grin, and it was genuinely being helpful.

ShebaShimmyShake · 23/11/2015 14:45

Bravissimo have always worked well for me...and if you have the money and can get to the location, I also had very good experiences with Rigby & Peller (the Queen's corsetiers, don't yew know). Not for everything, obviously, but when I needed a proper lingerie corset for my massive boobs, they were amazing. Didn't have my cup size, but they fitted me in one that was eight inches too big in the back, and took it in for me. Not cheap, but that thing fitted like a dream, made me look and feel like a goddess and lasted for years. They did something similar with a couple of day bras. Cost about £60 a pop (possibly more by now) but they looked and felt divine and lasted for about five years in perfect condition despite being worn and worn and worn.

emwithme · 23/11/2015 14:55

I need to bra intervention my MIL!

A week before my wedding (three years ago) we were in M&S and she said she needed to pick up a couple of new bras (she lives overseas). She picked up a 36B. MIL is a size 8 - 10 (if that). There is NO WAY she is a 36, but I didn't feel that I knew her well enough at the time to say "hang on, you're wearing the wrong size". Now I think I could...just need to get her (a) in the country and (b) engineer the conversation round to bras.

Original poster
Feefifofam · 23/11/2015 15:05

Oh look, also have a bra size calculator [[https://www.marksandspencer.com/s/lingerie/be-inspired/bra-fitting-tool]]

Which is probably given thousands of other women the wrong size, as well as their fitters!

OP posts:
Original poster
Feefifofam · 23/11/2015 15:07

Sorry, link fail. Bra size calculator

OP posts:
TriJo · 23/11/2015 15:09

I haven't been to M&S for a fitting in about a decade - they never do a good job. At 29" underbust they always put me into 34 bands, which give me no support. I've found Bravissimo consistently good, Debenhams good a lot of the time apart from one particular battleaxe in the lingerie department in Henry Street in Dublin, John Lewis fairly good too - and doing my own fittings based on the A Bra That Fits subreddit methods tends to work out pretty well too.

hollinhurst84 · 23/11/2015 15:11

I did a trial shop at m&s as I was curious. I think she put me in a 40H and I'm a 32/34K Grin (size 16 top)

hollinhurst84 · 23/11/2015 15:13

And I'm a mean bra intervener. My gym friend was whining about her sports bra, I grabbed the back and no joke pulled it at least 8 inches away from her back and told her she may as well not wear one. Tape measured her the next day Blush

Jibberjabberjooo · 23/11/2015 16:16

I'm quite tempted to get measured in m&s just to see what they come up with.

KatharinaRosalie · 23/11/2015 16:23

Some of our bra ladies tried - even if you walk in in a well fitting bra, they will still claim that of course you cannot be a 30G and stuff you into a 34D, as this is what the tape measure and their out-dated fitting advice says. Or say that no bras in your size exist.

shoofly · 23/11/2015 19:08

A few years ago I walked into m&s in a ridiculously too big 42 DD, (after losing a lot of weight) The fitter insisted I needed a far bigger back size, even when I pointed out that the m& s bra I was wearing was ridiculously too big and she wanted me to wear a bigger one? Her answer was that it must have stretched. I told her she, clearly, didn't have a clue what she was doing. Debenhams measured me at a 38 E.