to think you should only call or text after a certain time in an emergency??

[Fruityb]

My brother and sister seem to have no concept of time. Particularly my brother who forgets everyone works when he's off and decided to call me at 9.45pm to tell me about his holiday. On a Tuesday. When I go to bed at 10... which he knows... a phone call with my brother is never quick. I have been known not to answer when I've seen his name as I know I don't have at least an hour spare.

My phone pinged last night at just before 11pm. Yes I know it was Friday but I'm so exhausted on Friday nights I like to go to bed with a film and nod off. It was a totally trivial thing she didn't need to text me about that could have waited but it was enough to send my heart rate sky high wondering what the hell it was and why it was arriving so late.

I don't call people after 9 and will avoid texting where possible. Does anyone else do this or am I old school?

I get texts from clients at 11 at night and at 6 in the morning I always reply this is too late/early to text me. They then only do it once I do set it up not to text me before 8 or after 10 but people forget when they are in a hurry/off to work. I need my phone on as I have elderly parents so the silent function isn't the answer good manners is. If I had someone text me at 1 in the morning I would be furious and ring them back there and then and ask them please not to do it again.

Texts I have no issue with, do you all take your phones to bed with you? Mine stays downstairs so if people do text it wouldn't affect me anyway.

I don't make calls before 8.30am or after 8pm, unless in emergency: but I genuinely struggle with why people don't switch their mobiles off when they go to bed - FOMO?

And I appreciate that others, as I do, have elderly and unwell parents: but that's what the house 'phone is for - and in an emergency, I'd always try someone's landline before their mobile, but I appreciate that this may hbe old fashioned now

When my dad was dying I couldn't put my mobile on do not disturb and I had it with me all the time. That meant, after late nights at the hospital, early mornings with ds, busy afternoons sorting stuff out for dad, evenings and nights trying to visit and keep it all together that when the one morning I had a chance for a lay in the text that arrived at 5.50am asking 'How are you?' as a start to a general text chat did not get a moderate response.

I use my phone as an alarm clock.

My grown up not living at home dc and I have a group whatsapp that we use loads in the evening (especially when I'm a celeb is on) I like having the use of my phone it's not hard to not text or call on work related issues before/after 8 o clock. Family I don't mind/would ask not to if I did. I have a phone because I like to use it, it gets turned off when I am in the cinema/doing yoga otherwise it's generally you know mobile.

I text some people at all hours, sometimes its late at night while I remember, for special birthdays or exciting days I text at 00:01 because I'm thinking of that person as I go to bed and they are probably up anyway or will read it when they wake and know someone was thinking of them.
I never expect swift responses at unusual times but I usually get them (disabled child means I have friends in similar situations up all hours and a busy WhatsApp group can really help get through long nights)

I think everyone has a relative they don't answer to unless they have a free hour or two though OP you are not alone there. And there is nothing wrong with "sorry, I'm in bed" texts either. I customise my phone to send a standard text to my mother calls I reject late at night.

I have my phone on silent pretty much all the time to be honest, I have done since I was a student and used to get drunk middle of the night texts that would wake me up!

I don't phone after about 8:30pm, 9pm at the latest.
But texts?
I consider texts are there to be sent at the convenience of the sender and read at the convenience of the reader.

But then, I also turn off my mobile at night, and own a proper alarm clock.

You need to take responsibility for the phone. Put it on silent or don't answer the call.