to think my 2 year old is the funniest person I know!

[babybellsmum]

When you're due to give birth and really need a boost you can always rely on a 2 year old! Here's a conversation that just happened between me and my 26 month daughter! Please share any funny things your kids have done/said...maybe I can laugh this baby out!

DD(comes over and holds my face in both hands): big poo, BIG POOOOO!
Me: ok, do you need a new nappy?
DD (cuddling my head and kissing me on the cheek, sounding genuinely concerned!): yes please....don't worry mummy.
Me (laughing my head off): I'm not worried darling.
DD: what funny? Big poo no funny!

Ebola soup!

I told my 3 year old she was cute, beautiful, something like that, the other day. She replied, very matter of fact, 'yes, that's my job'

Haha oh no your poor boobs summer and your furry bum who! They are just charming little creatures!

And Ebola soup, they are funny aren't they!

Well I think that is hilarious, your daughter sounds a hoot! I have a boy toddler and can relate to the Thomas based humour (!)

Good luck with your impending little bundle

When my DD was newborn, I was breast feeding her one day. My DS who was three asked what I was doing, so I said I was giving DD milk from my breast. DS thought for a moment and then asked "Is there juice in the other one?"

^^ a juice flap!

Thanks thunder! Contractions have been coming on and off for a couple of days but they have got stronger over the last hour so maybe all your stories are helping me laugh her out!

Lol at juice flap!

2yo dd was playing with her farm. There is a little set of brown fences you can fasten together into a pen for sheep. So dd put it on her head and the following conversation happened:

Dd: Look at my crown!
SIL: Yes, it's a bit like Jesus' crown isn't it.
Dd: Let's not go there.

These are great stories! I have a 2 year old who is hilarious too. We have some animal duplo and the bird and the rabbit both have the same shape pink brick. She is convinced that the birds tail is the rabbits (3rd?! ) ear and will not be told otherwise. Just looks at me like I'm completely stupid and says "no mummy. rabbit." So funny!

Had a bath with my 2 year old the other day. He looked at my crotch and said "that's your bum"
I said "no it's not my bum"
He said "yes, that's your bum"
I started trying to explain what it is and he said
"It's got poo in it"
No son it doesn't not have poo in it!

Haha! My DD is a similar age. The other day, I was in a cupboard sorting out some paperwork whisky DD was on the floor playing. The phone rang, I startled, lifted my head straight up and bashed it on the corner of a shelf. I reacted as if DD hadn't been there, big mistake 'oh fuck off!' I could just see DD toddling to the landline 'me get it mummy.' I could just see what was coming but I couldn't get to her quickly enough to get the phone off her. DD picks up the phone 'oh phfuck off!' It was my MIL.

*whilst!!

My DS came out of school today proudly clutching a colourful picture. 'Lovely' I says 'what is it?' ... and the rather patronising reply ... 'It's a dinosaur that's eaten a disco ball'

DS (age 2.5) sitting on toilet & a little but constipated.

DS "Mummy, my poo is just like Santa"

Me "eh?"

DS "it's stuck up my chimney"

Had to pick myself up off the floor from that one!

I was getting changed a few days ago and lifted my arm to spray deodorant and dd (3) said 'ooh mum look at your big beard!' I quickly went and shaved my armpits

Pahahahaha 'it's stuck up my chimney!'

Laughing at these but paperwork whisky had me spluttering my drink! Hmmmm are you sure it was supposed to be whilst?

Aww, OP, she sounds adorable . I love the 'don't worry' bit. So sweet. I love the random things kids can say, sometimes without realising just how funny they are.

3 yo daughter in changing room, being nosy:

"Daddy, that man's got a sausage coming out of his bottom"

Time to explain male anatomy...

Best wishes OP

Another from today. In the park with grandad who couldn't understand what 2 yr old was saying. 2 yr old reprated about six times then looked and grandad (who still didnt fet it) and said 'my mummy knows how to talk'.

My almost 2 year old was melting down and getting to the point of throwing things. I asked her if she needed to go to bed. Melt down stops abruptly as she goes "Yeah!" and runs to her room to get ready.

I ate one of her orange slices and I got a very patronizing gentle "No no" as she held her hand house near my mouth for me to spit it out like I do to her. No, I did not spit it out.

I was sitting in the sun. Enjoying a pimms at a friends wedding. My daughter came running up to me smiling, still miraculously clean and says "oh mummy, all the silver in your hair is all glinty today. You're do old".
Moment gone.
I laughed though (possibly not the first drink).

Haha the patronising/sarcastic are the best! Loving 'yes thats my job'! And my mummy can talk ha!

I've just been woken up (still no baby) to "no kevin , sit downnnn....no kevin!....hhmmpphh no chocolate kevin!" (Kevin is one of her teddies...)