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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Refusing to put French flag overlay on Facebook?

146 replies

InTheBox · 19/11/2015 12:42

I did add the French flag overlay on my FB but many of my friends didn't do so, not because they condone the shootings but due to FB's choosing of the seemingly deserving west and underserving others. Many of my friends queried why there hadn't been a Syrian, Lebanese, Iraqi or Palestinian flag filter.

I can't say I disagree but I admit I hadn't considered this until their posts came up on my feed. Did you choose to change your profile to include the French filter or did you decide against it?

I'm now going to change my profile pic back to normal because in the main I disagree with FB's double standards.

OP posts:
AnotherEffingOrangeRevel · 19/11/2015 15:33

SettlingIn. I agree - it's complicated. It's impossible to mentally represent everyone in the world, so we select a few to identify more with. This definitely has some positive consequences because we also generally have more influence on the lives of the people closest to us.

In the current context, however, it seems likely that these kinds of allegiances will contribute to thousands more deaths worldwide.

IKnowIAmButWhatAreYou · 19/11/2015 15:36

I didn't either. It seems a bit of a facile response to a complex situation.

One of my French colleagues said this morning how lovely it is to know that people are with them in their troubling time.

But TBH, I don't need an explanation as to why people don't want to do it. The very fact that they feel the need to explain says quite a lot to me!!

M4blues · 19/11/2015 15:46

Oh ffs! I don't do Facebook but bloody hell. The people who did it didn't do it to appear cool or political. They did it to show solidarity and sympathy to our next door neighbours. To a city that many of them will have visited. To a city where last week, a bunch of murderous bastards decided that the Western concept of enjoying a Friday night out isn't on and therefore they were going to slaughter us for it.

Muslims? They're not fuckin Muslims. They're a disgrace to Islam. They are evil psychotic thugs and most decent people didn't consider how 'uncool' or 'vacuous' it would be to show the world and the Parisians especially, that we're in this together.

FindoGask · 19/11/2015 15:59

"But TBH, I don't need an explanation as to why people don't want to do it. The very fact that they feel the need to explain says quite a lot to me!!"

Does it? What does it say, exactly?

I don't feel I need to explain - but I did feel like exploring why I didn't do a thing that some other people did. I think it's important to think about stuff like this, and discuss it too.

IKnowIAmButWhatAreYou · 19/11/2015 16:06

I think it's important to think about stuff like this, and discuss it too

There' s difference between discussing something and making a patronising statement about why you don't think someone should have done something.

Which is what happened with the "Oh, but what about the Lebanon etc." posts from people (who incidentally hadn't mentioned any of these bloody places beforehand)....

I don't care why you didn't change your picture - it really means nothing to me!!

But please, do me the honour of not assuming I'm thick as shit and incapable of making my own decisions for my own reasons.....

FindoGask · 19/11/2015 16:11

I don't know anything about you, IknowIambutwhatareyou. I don't have a problem with anyone changing their profile picture, my post was about why I didn't decide to. In response to an OP asking why people did or didn't.

FindoGask · 19/11/2015 16:14

I wear a poppy, for example - I guess you could make the same arguments for and against that so it's not like I'm even consistent.

FindoGask · 19/11/2015 16:14

Although you do have to donate to wear a poppy, I guess. Anyway. As you were.

kungfupannda · 19/11/2015 16:24

I haven't changed mine. There's something about the idea of clicking a gesture to show solidarity that makes me a bit uncomfortable. If it involved having an idea, and taking the time to produce some unique image, I might feel differently, but as it stands it feels a bit bandwagonny.

I don't have feelings either way about anyone else doing it. I don't know their motivation or the strength of their feeling. It's just not something I was comfortable with myself.

Washediris · 19/11/2015 16:28

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

mrsmugoo · 19/11/2015 16:31

I haven't done it, but I'm not "refusing to" I just can't see the bloody point.

0utForAWalkBitch · 19/11/2015 16:35

I changed mine to an overlay of an image of the flags of all the countries directly affected by ISIS.

ouryve · 19/11/2015 16:41

Meh. It's your facebook. Change it if you want to. Don't change it if you don't want to. If people are getting shirty with other people over whether they display the French flag or not, they're getting angry with the wrong people for the wrong things.

madwomanbackintheattic · 19/11/2015 16:41

No I didn't. I don't overlay with any of the fb-provided stuff. Nor do I share anything that says 'only 1% of people care enough about special children to share this crappy meme' or 'it's national daughter day, share if you love your daughter with all your heart' because I am entirely comfortable that I don't need a social media sticker to care or campaign for any cause.
I considered using the CND inspired image, because I thought it was clever but I didn't. I admired the artwork and the sentiment though, although the follow through wasn't terribly peaceful, so in hindsight the symbolism was somewhat ironic. That makes me a little sad, if I am honest. Although I haven't done a survey of my feed to count how many people who used the image have subsequently liked retaliatory attacks, which would be interesting

madwomanbackintheattic · 19/11/2015 16:43
MaidOfStars · 19/11/2015 16:49

I didn't change mine and I rejected FB's offer to do it for me. I gave my French colleagues a hug on Monday. That's more my thing. I don't care if anyone else changed their profile pictures though.

I also don't have a problem with people having a more viscera, emotional response to the French attacks, compared to those in Nigeria or Lebanon or elsewhere. I know I did.

ItalianWiking84 · 19/11/2015 16:56

My family lost a dear family member in the attack Sadand for me personally its nice to see so many ppl showing the French flag on their profile

IKnowIAmButWhatAreYou · 19/11/2015 16:56

my post was about why I didn't decide to. In response to an OP asking why people did or didn't.

I wasn't referring to you - I was talking about the people on FB who have been quite vocal about why they didn't do it...

Apologies for the confusion!

ghostyslovesheep · 19/11/2015 16:59

It's been a real eye opener for me - not the people who did or didn't do it but the superior attitude of some of my friends on the left - who make a point of labelling people who do simple things like change their pic 'idiots' and 'uneducated'

it's such a sneery snotty attitude - I changed mine - I also am involved in anti BF campaigns, protests to support refugees, collections and transport of aid to Turkey, Greece and Calais and consider myself to be fairly active and educated - but if it makes people feel better to have a sneer so be it Hmm

ghostyslovesheep · 19/11/2015 17:02

and yes it just as 'bandwagony' to keep banging on about WHY you didn't do it - most of the people I know who have done so didn't post anything prior to Paris about atrocities in Africa or the Middle East recently

It reminds me of people who are anti refugee banging on about 'looking after our own homeless' when the reality is they have never so much as purchased a big issue

hackmum · 19/11/2015 17:09

I didn't do it because it just felt like a pointless gesture. I felt deeply saddened by what happened in Paris. I simply thought that changing my profile pic in that way wouldn't make any difference to anything.

LillianGish · 19/11/2015 17:11

I live in Paris very, very close to where the attacks took place. People in my road were killed in the attacks. Personally I have appreciated the show of solidarity from family and friends all over the world. I don't understand people who say we don't give the same attention to atrocities in other parts of the world - these attacks are reported in the media, you obviously don't see the right media. Why does the public pick up on some more than other? It's the "Ooh Mavis that could have been me" factor - people in Britain have been to Paris, have friends or even family in Paris - London is now France's sixth biggest city by population French people. If you want to draw attention to other atrocities in other cities why not do that as and when they occur instead of complaining about people showing sympathy to the people of Paris. Don't post a French flag if you don't want, but don't complain when others do. I'd like to thank those who have posted one - it is a small comfort at a very grim time.

WorldsBiggestGrotbag · 19/11/2015 17:13

That's exactly what my friends in Paris have said too Lillian

MrsDeVere · 19/11/2015 17:22

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

NewLife4Me · 19/11/2015 17:29

I don't judge those that did, but was aware that france has been bombing syria since September. I agree, it's usually only the West able to have casualties, in the media, social media etc.

I just ignore tbh, I can't be assed changing tbh.