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Original poster

Refusing to put French flag overlay on Facebook?

146 replies

InTheBox · 19/11/2015 12:42

I did add the French flag overlay on my FB but many of my friends didn't do so, not because they condone the shootings but due to FB's choosing of the seemingly deserving west and underserving others. Many of my friends queried why there hadn't been a Syrian, Lebanese, Iraqi or Palestinian flag filter.

I can't say I disagree but I admit I hadn't considered this until their posts came up on my feed. Did you choose to change your profile to include the French filter or did you decide against it?

I'm now going to change my profile pic back to normal because in the main I disagree with FB's double standards.

OP posts:
HumphreyCobblers · 19/11/2015 13:25

I didn't because I didn't feel I wanted to. I thought about, read about, watched tv reports and felt gutted about the Paris shootings/bombings. It is fine not to change it and fine to do it if that is what you wanted to do.

There is always a tendency to give more weight to the events that happen closer to home, I think it is human nature. We should try not to do it but I think it is bound to happen in many ways.

MrsNuckyT · 19/11/2015 13:29

I'm also a vacuous idiot then.

I have to say I really don't understand the 'but it happened last week in Lebanon' crowd. Yes it did. And anyone with half a brain saw that it happened and was moved by it. However, I don't think it is remotely unusual to be particularly struck by and empathetic towards it happening to our 'next door neighbours' as it were. This a country with whom we arguably have a lot more in common and therefore it has 'hit home' for many more people.

God, why do people have to argue about who's grieving or outraged in the right way or the most or the best? Christ almighty a load of people lost their lives on a Friday night out and a load of other people want to send their thoughts and make a show of solidarity. Is there anything wrong with that?

TooMuchRain · 19/11/2015 13:30

I thought about it because I have friends in Paris and wanted to show I was standing them in some way but in the end I didn't because I couldn't imagine a time when it would be ok to then take that flag down. And so many countries have been affected by these terrorists, I don't know how to choose just one.

SettlinginNicely · 19/11/2015 13:31

Well put MrsNuckyT. The press are calling it, "grief shaming."

purpledasies · 19/11/2015 13:33

I didn't. Because I don't find FB is a good forum for discussing political ideas - I find I see things I disagree with but don't feel able to express that in a way that I want to share with the rest of the world on my friend's post. Ocassionaly I de-friend someone, but chances are they don't notice. Mostly I just feel uncomfortable about it.

I might have put the French flag iif I had friends in Paris who had been directly affected by it, and wanted to show sympathy - but I don't, so it would be a purely political gesture. I don't like my friends assuming I share all their views so don't wish to do that to them.

BlueMoonRising · 19/11/2015 13:35

I changed mine. I know two people directly affected and I thought it was a good way of letting them know that my thoughts were with them and with the others affected, without sending them a message as I am sure they would have been bombarded with messages of support. I was only the second of my friends to change, so don't feel I was part of a bandwagon either.

I have seen people 'diss' the use of the flag, but if people choose to think less of me because of it, that is their problem not mine. I don't personally know anyone affected by these other tragedies.

IKnowIAmButWhatAreYou · 19/11/2015 13:35

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

LittleLionMansMummy · 19/11/2015 13:43

I'm a vacuous idiot too. But then I also wear a tricolour charm on my bracelet. I love the country and go there very regularly and will always have a closer affinity with it than middle eastern countries, sorry. That's not to say I ignore or don't have a view on what is going on elsewhere in the world or that I am not saddened by all atrocities. I do and I am. But France is like my second home and it could have been me and my family caught up in it all. You're entitled to do as you please op, but my saying you 'refuse' it implies that somehow you're being coerced, cajoled etc against your will. You're not, it's your choice, as we live in a free (ish) country. And it's a freedom similar to what the French have, a freedom worth fighting for (metaphorically, before I stand accused of war mongering!)

ApplePaltrow · 19/11/2015 13:49

Why can't people just let other people do as they please?

One of the most annoying things about these tragedies is that they bring out all the smug guardianistas patting themselves on the back about being better than all the "plebs" on platforms like facebook.

So you didn't change your facebook page, big whoop? It makes you no better and no worse. Nobody cares about your decisions or your opinion so why don't you just stop posturing?

3phase · 19/11/2015 13:50

I did but am well aware it is meaningless / pointless / futile. I changed my profile to a pic of my kids when we were in Paris last year and added the overlay. I used to live in Paris and wanted to show some a nod of solidarity to my Parisian Fbook friends. Pathetic gesture though, agreed.

I generally try not to judge based on Facebook posts but some of the crap I have seen over the past week has driven me to 'de-friend' a number of people.

IcecreamBus · 19/11/2015 13:54

I did. I don't really care if others did or didn't, same as I don't care what anyone thinks of my choice over it. I don't know why people have to make a big deal about what people do or don't do on FB. Does it really matter?

APlaceOnTheCouch · 19/11/2015 13:54

I didn't but I did put the Eiffel Tower/CND sign illustration on my page not my profile pic . It's a very personal decision.

There were a few reasons why I didn't do it.

I was upset about Paris on a personal level because I've spent time there and have friends there but a flag is a political symbol to me. There are so many losses all over the world and I didn't want to make a political statement on the value of French lives over others.

I also don't like that FB is choosing what causes are 'worthy' because I very much doubt that my values overall are the same as FB's.

And, at a basic level, I think this 'othering' of certain causes/peoples can be very damaging. So much of the media coverage and indeed our politics is about 'them' and 'us'; and I reject that artificial division.

But I know that my friends who did put the French flag on their profile were just showing solidarity with people suffering. They weren't making any of those political statements. But, for me, it just didn't feel right.

kinkytoes · 19/11/2015 13:55

Surely just a sign of solidarity with the French and too many people are over thinking it.

Someone on my feed actually told everyone to stop discussing it as it's 'what the the terrorists want'. I could hardly believe it. Should the friends and family affected stop grieving too, in case the terrorists find out? How dare anyone tell anyone how to react to an international tragedy. They can all fuck off as far as I'm concerned.

KeepOnMoving1 · 19/11/2015 13:56

It's ridiculous how adult who have a choice what to do, then go on to choose to make a big song and dance over nothing. You refusing Means someone is forcing you to, which is not the case. Do it if you want or don't, just get over it now. There are actual real problems in the world!

SallyMcgally · 19/11/2015 13:58

I did change mine. I love France, I teach French, I've lived there and I have friends there. It was a way of saying visibly 'I care about you.' This doesn't mean I don't care about what happens in the rest of the world - just that France is closer to me on an emotional level. There was a fair chance I might actually know one of the victims.
I don't really care if someone thinks I'm a vacuous idiot for that - I'm not doing it to be thought well of or to be thought ill of, just to say I'm so, so sorry that this happened to you and I'm thinking of you. So I'll leave it for as long as it feels right to.
I have posted petitions and posts about Nigeria/ Syria/ Palestine. I care about other places in the world, but, yes, I care more about France because there's a personal connection.

IKnowIAmButWhatAreYou · 19/11/2015 14:01

I changed mine as a gesture of solidarity with my French and European colleagues.

I'm not particularly bothered by people in Baghdad, Lebanon etc blowing each other up (is that better MNHQ??)

SuckingEggs · 19/11/2015 14:02

All the holier than thou brigade who care SO much about the world that they decide to slag off those who use the French flag to show support... Fuck off.

You don't hold the monopoly on grief and anger. Seriously. Just go away, you hypocrites. How dare you decide what people should sympathise with based on Facebook ?! Mind your own. You have no idea what people sympathise with - being horrified by one attack does NOT mean you can't care more widely. Jeez. Angry

MaxPepsi · 19/11/2015 14:05

I changed mine. I'm a well educated idiot though!

A good friend of mine, literally, escaped with her life last Friday.

I also had other reasons for changing it. Some 'trends' I follow, some I don't.

SettlinginNicely · 19/11/2015 14:05

I wouldn't have thought much about any of it one way or the other, but folks who chose not to change their profile pictures weren't content to simply not change their profile pictures. They chose to explain themselves.

Perhaps they explained themselves because they weren't entirely comfortable with their own choice, but it came across as lecturing and judging other people. Lecturing and judging other people at a time when 129 people were killed in the capital of our nearest neighbour with whom we are in a political union and share a 1000+ years of history.

I sincerely thought: WTF? My reaction to these "world citizens" was that they were scoring points at the wrong time. It was pretty tacky. Also, I don't know about your FB feeds, but not a single one of these moral paragons had mentioned the Beirut bombings the day before, or posted a single meme about the Russian air tragedy.

LittleLionMansMummy · 19/11/2015 14:07

...And, breathe SuckingEggs Grin

I'm running a sweepstake on how long it is before IKnow's revised post is also deleted.

SuckingEggs · 19/11/2015 14:13
Grin Needed to say it. Seen some inane comments from people who are so informed and caring that they, um, only realised how 'wrong' it was - while reading Facebook. Confused
SettlinginNicely · 19/11/2015 14:17

Perhaps we share some FB friends SuckingEggs! Grin

Palomb · 19/11/2015 14:20

I changed mine because I consider France our neighbour. I go there twice a year on holiday and love it, I have French friends, and colleagues.

I wouldn't have put a Beirut flag up because I've never been to Beirut, will never go to Beirut and don't know a single person from Beirut.

SuckingEggs · 19/11/2015 14:20

Mmm, maybe we do, Settling, or maybe there are just a load of opinionated hypocritical bandwagon-riders filling Facebook with this bilge! Wink

LagunaBubbles · 19/11/2015 14:21

Why can't people just let other people do as they please?

Good question! Because they have to be seen as superior "I care so much more so than you because I dont just care about France" type thing? I wouldnt be able to function on a day to day basis if I had to stop and grieve for all the tragedies in the world, where would it stop.