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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think childcare should accommodate varying shifts?

186 replies

Somanyproblems · 17/11/2015 07:46

I'm really struggling. Expecting first baby next year and am starting to look at childcare options.

(A nanny is not even a remote possibility, neither is an au pair.)

I have to start work quite early - at 8. The good thing is that I finish fairly early as well. However, this massively limits my childcare options. There is only one nursery that I've found we could use that opens before 8, and it really doesn't look very nice at all Sad

Is this what people have to do - leave their baby somewhere they aren't happy with?

OP posts:
Original poster
Somanyproblems · 17/11/2015 17:39

I have, yes, and rang childminders, I don't have anyone else to have the baby and my start time is not flexible.

OP posts:
Rowgtfc72 · 17/11/2015 17:40

I had to give up my job of eight years because dhs shifts changed and we couldn't find childcare at 530am. We've jigged our hours around and now we work opposite shifts( obviously no help to you) but we couldn't find any childcare to fit with what we needed.
DDS nursery was very hectic and in your face. She loved it. Remember that although as the parent you make the choice, its not you spending the day there!

DinosaursRoar · 17/11/2015 17:44

the one you don't like, what are the older rooms like? Is there a pre-school on site? Have another look round, think about it with an older child there. If there's a pre-school on site, it'll make life easier than trying to move for pre-school and find wrap around care.

Alternatively, if you have only one morning option of the nursery you don't like, and a childminder you like but doesn't start early enough, would a 50/50 arrangement work? Mornings in the nursery, with the childminder doing pick up at lunchtime and looking after your DC until you can pick up?

Original poster
Somanyproblems · 17/11/2015 17:46

I know, which is why I'm giving this so much thought.

As I've said in a few of my posts now, I realise that some people will like the brightness, the loudness, the structure and the 'school' environment.

For me, given that my child will be under one when I return to work and that her or she will be in there for at least four, more likely five, days a week. I preferred a slightly more homely environment which local nurseries do offer with a beautiful setting, much more outdoors work, free play and so on. I wanted somewhere a little quieter and less like a school.

But, we don't always get what we want! Smile

OP posts:
Jibberjabberjooo · 17/11/2015 17:47

I wouldn't want my DC to wear a uniform for pre school. Some nurseries do have minibuses as many provide a pre and after school service so do school drop offs and pick ups for parents who work early/late.

Jibberjabberjooo · 17/11/2015 17:50

I can't imagine the baby room is structured. Mine do song time and drawing and have naps when they're tired. But otherwise they play. Their meals are at set time obviously.

ChatEnOeuf · 17/11/2015 18:02

Chat to some of the nursery staff - they may be happy to come to your house before work and take the baby to work with them. We've never needed this, but on occasions have needed them to bring DD home at the end of the day and watch her for a couple of hours until I got home.

Junior doctor payscales for those who were asking. You do F1, F2, then enter speciality training.

Original poster
Somanyproblems · 17/11/2015 18:05

That's a massive ask, and would leave me very reliant on one other person!

OP posts:
SauvignonPlonker · 17/11/2015 18:06

OP, not sure what your housing situation is, but we moved house to find suitable childcare. Some might find that a bit extreme, but it was either that or give up work, which wasn't an option.

Luckily we were renting & moved a few miles down the road, where there was a nursery which also ran an after-school club. It has been worth it, as before I was struggling with unreliable childminders, or those whose quality of care was questionable. My salary wouldn't stretch to a nanny & we didn't have room for an au-pair nor did I want a stranger in my house

So if you're renting, do consider moving, as you're going to need childcare for a long time.

Original poster
Somanyproblems · 17/11/2015 18:11

I don't rent, although moving house isn't impossible I do actually really like where I live and would prefer another job but do need to stick with this one at least to claim my maternity pay.

OP posts:
Want2bSupermum · 17/11/2015 18:15

I had no clue when I was at your stage. I thought the free play was awesome and wanted the kids outdoors as much as possible. Turns out my kids wanted to be able to do arts and crafts, have a long nap time and for free play to work it is actually quite a bit more structured that you think. So those, leafy leaved nurseries which look fab to an adult were totally the wrong place for my DC.

Also don't discount school uniform. I am here in the US and there is no school uniform. Every morning DD and now DS want to pick out their clothes. With a uniform there is zero discussion. Also, my kids get messy at daycare. DS is walking around in torn trousers, paint splattered tshirts etc. I would quite like him to be in a school uniform and let that get ruined!

Buses wouldn't bother me in the least. If anything it is a positive as it means they have wheels to do trips with the DC.

didireallysaythat · 17/11/2015 18:15

When we reached school age and the 8-6 cafe turned into 8:35 to 3:00 it got worse. I wish I'd gone through cm route sometimes. Not all schools have before or after school cafe which I naïvely assumed they would !

Rinceoir · 17/11/2015 18:16

You probably are going to have to be reliant on one other person unfortunately. Have you thought of childminders near your workplace? I would call, explain your situation and they may be receptive. To all those talking about doctors pay scales I gross close to £60k. It's a good salary, and I'm more than 10 years post graduation. I have no problem with my current earnings whatsoever. However if I was a single parent I would certainly need to move away from London as I wouldn't be able to cover rent and childcare. I am on the very top of the scale. I'll be taking a salary cut to do a research post and will be lucky if my salary covers childcare over the next 3-4years. I can absolutely see how those more junior than me would struggle, and also how the OP may struggle.

Original poster
Somanyproblems · 17/11/2015 18:19

Being reliant on one person is inevitably going to lead to difficulties relating to holidays and so on, which is why I'm leaning towards nurseries. I wouldn't have been completely anti-childminders but not near my workplace - the advantage of a childminders increased flexibility would be stopped by the commute.

I'll keep exploring options and possibly it will only be for six months or so but it does restrict my options which is a pity.

OP posts:
BikeRunSki · 17/11/2015 18:21

OP, you could use your ML to train as a cm, then give up your job and look after your own child, and others, with early/late/flexible times.

Original poster
Somanyproblems · 17/11/2015 18:23

Ah, if only Grin

OP posts:
HappyAsASandboy · 17/11/2015 18:27

I am surprised you can't find a good nursery that opens earlier than 8am.

I looked at 4 nurseries, and narrowed it down to two. One of those is open 7am - 6pm, the other is open 7am - 7pm. You are free to book shorter days within those hours.

A new nursery has opened since I looked, and I think they're 7am - 7pm too.

Try to look near (or in!) a hospital. They're often more flexible to accommodate nurse shift patterns.

Original poster
Somanyproblems · 17/11/2015 18:29

Yes - so am I! But the two lovely ones in my village are 8 starts. I can only find one that opens at 7:30.

OP posts:
Girlfriend36 · 17/11/2015 18:38

I am a nurse and a single parent, a good childminder is the only reason i could work at all! I also had to discuss with my employers having set shifts and start and finish times.

In your situation i would think a childminder would be the better option, they tend to be more flexible and obviously a more homely environment. I have never had a problem with cms calling in sick and have been using them for childcare for 9 years now!

Rinceoir · 17/11/2015 18:38

I'm not surprised. Where I live all the nurseries open at 8. And are in very high demand so they have no reason to be more flexible. Even childminders around here are fairly rigid, the popular ones at least.

Lndnmummy · 17/11/2015 18:47

Yes in our partnof london onky ine nursery open earlier than 8.

Original poster
Somanyproblems · 17/11/2015 19:16

This thread is like Groundhog Day Grin

OP posts:
Only1scoop · 17/11/2015 19:22

Op ....you are not wrong.
Confused

PennyHasNoSurname · 17/11/2015 19:29

Surely there are more than two nurseries in the wider area? If you commute to work then maybe look for somewhere en route?

Want2bSupermum · 17/11/2015 19:33

Just wait..... right now its so easy and the first year is pretty easy IME/IMO. I have just started school and OMG nothing prepares you for that. Also I am now chief interviewer at work because I have interviewed more people than anyone at my peer level and the level above. I have also fired people, like the babysitter last week, which DH said I did brilliantly (Mr Chicken in the corner left his wife to do it). Childcare has turned into something I never thought it would be.

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