To think that dementia is not funny?

[Polgara25]

www.notonthehighstreet.com/globee/product/adventure-before-dementia-luggage-strap

Seriously?????

Humour is what keeps my family going when dealing with dementia - the ability to laugh and to find things funny is one of my dad's only remaining joys and something we can continue to share with him.

I don't usually mind jokes about dementia - however, I don't like this. It's very flippant, not funny and implies your life is over the minute you are diagnosed with dementia to me.

I wonder how many people who find "adventure before dementia" quite funny and harmless but would be offended by "last chancer before cancer" as a "funny luggage slogan". Alzheimer's Dementia is a terminal disease - it is no laughing matter. It isn't simply "becoming more forgetful as you age", it is a terminal illness, in which plaques form in the brain, gradually destroying more and more of the brain and eradicating the person who they used to be.

PP's who can see the humour in dementia - does your family member who has it still recognise you?

Are they doubly incontinent?

Can they still talk?

My Dad had dementia - i prayed for him to die :( It was a fucking living HELL. There really is no other way to describe it, the poor man. Stripped of every ounce of dignity.

Saying that, our visits to see him in his carehome (my mum couldnt cope) were made bearable by an old lady who had what i call "happy dementia". She was convinced she was a teenager and flirted outrageously with my DP. Sitting on his lap, gettign worried because her nan would be cross she wasn't home. Bless her heart, she was so funny. I daresay she had her upsets though.

I wont look at the link OP as i will probably get the rage.

I think it is poor taste - I too get the sentiment, but it should not be being used to sell things . My MIL died of Alzheimers almost a year ago, and to watch the deterioration from happy, capable woman to someone who could do nothing whatsoever for herself (ultimately not even cough up the phlegm in her lungs) was heartbreaking.

Didn't finish my post. I suspect that people who can somewhat laugh about dementia haven't seen a loved one in the end stages of it. Hence being incontinent, not recognising family and losing the ability to communicate, amongst other 'humorous' things

My nan has just gone into a home because she can no longer manage to look after herself properly: eating, drinking, washing, wiping herself after going to the toilet.

It's so unfunny, if I ever get the diagnosis, I'll be straight off to Dignitas before I ever get as bad as her. And the worst thing is, I know the worst is yet to come. There are fellow residents in the home crying for mummy and daddy. It must be hell being so frightened and confused all the time. It's barbaric.

Ming, no, yes, and no - well, they have now died.

I don't think that anybody hear is denying that dementia is the most horrible and cruel disease, for ALL involved. And I am well aware that dementia is far more than a bit of a memory problem - it is a devastating and terminal condition. That's not what is being debated here. I stand by what I said: silly bad strap is a bit dubious as somebody is making money from it, but the sentiment? Get out there and do stuff you want to do NOW rather than when it is too late? I quite like that.

Also, I think if a retired person chose to put those stapes on their luggage as they are embarking on the trip of a life time, well, fine by me. I don't see how that slogan would ever make a lovely gift for somebody else….

You are not being unreasonable. It's not funny, neither are cancer, heart disease and arthritis. We need to start seeing mental health issues in the same light as other health issues.

No it's not funny. I work with people with dementia. I know someone who is so anxious she claws her skin and makes it bleed. I know someone who waits at 3pm terrified she doesn't know how to get to her children who are finishing school. I know someone who lives through her brother's death every day. I know someone who shakes with fear that she is doing something wrong and is in the wrong place. I know someone who paces up and down until she falls down with exhaustion. I know the families who have to watch their loved one living a hellish nightmare.
Dementia is not fucking funny.

Dementia is NOT funny.

But...

Jokes about dementia can be funny.

Ming your questions sound faintly accusatory ( apologies if I'm reading them wrong). My dad is doubly incontinent, cannot speak, cannot recognise us, cannot hum, sing, laugh...any of the things he used to enjoy in fact. And yes, we do find humour in certain situations. We have to.

I don't think you should make assumptions.

Really? Not unless a person with dementia says it's funny. And that would be hard. You tend to loose your sense of humour about the same time someone has to wipe your arse because you don't recognise the toilet roll.

Are you talking to me?

If so, if refuse to allow anyone tell me how they think I should respond to my dad's dementia. My sister and I giggled when he tried to eat an acorn his 2 year old grand daughter handed him. So shoot us.

Ah I see. You're talking to Masterpiece I think...?

Dementia is an horrendous illness and so poorly understood. My Nan had vascular dementia, her life did a full circle for want of a better phrase, she went from baby to adult to baby again. There were 'funny' incidents in that time, sometimes we felt we had to laugh as we had cried too many tears already. I don't see the funny side of that. I now live in fear of my own mum getting it as both her parents had types of dementia.

Yes sorry Hester I wasn't talking to you. Cross posted.

I've just posted a comment on the NOTHS website.

Here is the message:

Why on earth do you think this is ok to sell? Today my bf called to say her father who has dementia attacked his carer with a knife because he believed she was a spy. Yesterday my mother visited my Dad who also has dementia in his care home, he cannot walk, talk, feed himself, go to the loo etc. his type of dementia means he has a fluctuating recognition- imagine what that feels like when you know, imagine what it's like to see the love of your life like that. Imagine that was your dad, your husband, you. INo one would find a similar joke about cancer acceptable sometimes with cancer you have a chance with dementia you never do.

Please stop selling it

You do realise this is a campaign backed by the Alzheimers society and 50p from each one sold is donated to them?

In my view it makes it worse, but I'm not overly impressed by ADS - Alzheimer's is one type of dementia, there are many others.

My Dad has a form of dementia. It's taken 10 years to get him diagnosed and into the right care home and he has fought my efforts to help him all the way, sometimes physically. I've done this with little support, its miserable and depressing but sometimes amid the torrent of abuse my dad says something so vile it's ridiculous and I can't help but laugh. Must make me a terrible person

As previous posters have said, there is a difference between those closely affected by dementia using humor as a coping mechanism and a business using a jokey reference to a horrible disease (just google the details of end stage) as a slogan to sell things. And it just reinforces much of the ignorance in the community about dementia diseases.

Hmm.. I have a dark sense of humor, but I'm a bit on the fence with this.

I showed up at my dad's birthday dressed as a grim reaper with a pack of adult diapers to tell him I'd be back again soon.

But the difference is, I was laughing with him, and everyone was having fun.

These seem to be laughing at people with dementia behind their back instead of with them in the room.

Well, I find it amusing (though not laugh out loud funny). I have lost relatives to dementia (specifically Alzheimer's disease). My gmother who nursed her own mother for seven years now jokes about the lighter side of it with us, though I understand those who don't find it funny- it was definitely less amusing when the patients were still alive and suffering.

I would be fine with seeing a retired/older couple using this luggage strap. I would be a bit if it was a young person, although having said that it's the kind of thing my friend who nurses dementia patients might buy.