To think that dementia is not funny?

[Polgara25]

www.notonthehighstreet.com/globee/product/adventure-before-dementia-luggage-strap

Seriously?????

Dementia wipes out a lot of long term memories as well. My mother had traveled the world. She could remember none of that.

No, not funny, my Mum has Dementia.

Both my dad and step mum have Alzheimer's, dad is now in full time care after having been in hospital following being detained under the mental act. He is scared angry and bewildered much of the time. He still knows who I am. The last visit I had with him we were sat together and he patted my hand and said I won't tell anyone. I asked what he wouldn't tell, he said that I was there , oh ok says I, he then patted my hand again and said well you don't look depressed, I'd never of known by looking at you. I laughed and it makes me smile and hope it always will. Dementia has made him violent and abusive and I'm sure there's much worse to come. My step mum lost the TV remote and the lights were fussed so it had to be hunted down in the dark, it was in the cutlery draw. Funny things might happen but dementia is not a tiny bit funny.

It is not fucking funny. And I have a very black sense of humour, but at the moment I am watching this happen and it is the worst feeling ever. Dementia is not just loss of memory, it is loss of identity and self. People seem to think it's just being amusingly forgetful - yeah, right.

My dad and my grampa both had dementia. Some days were genuinely bloody funny.

The fact is the seller would be flamed if they did an adventure before cancer. Dementia isn't looked on in the same way and in some ways is more heartbreaking. It will be a year on Wednesday that I lost my Gramp to dementia and during that time every dip he had made it feel like losing him all over again.

Exactly YoureAllaBunch, it is totally a loss of self. The person that was my mum doesn't exist now - its not a lovely lady who just can't make new memories, every part of her personality has gone. And theres no longterm memories there either, not even ones from 60 years ago.

And sometimes she's just plain terrified. Fireworks for instance - all she knows is the loud bangs and that must be bad right? No funny stories about pretending its the blitz to go with this, because she's too young for that. So she just sobs.

But I feel bad now for being so negative, so you get the one lovely thing of this year. Mum managed to communicate that she wanted new red boots. Dad got some that he and the carer could get on mums feet. And she giggled like a little girl for a week everytime she looked at her feet, and had to be prised out of them

My mum from being diagnosed had 6 months,since then she hasn't spoken or recognised any one for 13 years

So would selling a product with a catchy rhyming slogan about a terminal childhood disease be defensible? If not, then why is it ok to do it with a disease that slowly kills older people?

And, by the way, it only rhymes well if you speak with a non-rhotic accent.

It's my grandfather's funeral tomorrow, he died of dementia. I don't find it funny, but I'm sure there are many with no experience of dementia who just see it as a bit of harmless banter.

The thing is though - "adventure before dementia" is exactly what my parents are doing right now. (Flew yesterday for holiday 4 of the year.) One of them had one parent with Alzheimer's, the other had two with dementia of some form so the odds are that at least one of them will get it.

They acknowledge this and are determinedly enjoying the time that they have.

You need to pick your target though. I won't be buying the strap as I think it could upset my dad. (He finds thoughts of the future much harder.) My mum would love it though.

No not funny. And not something I would buy. I saw a T shirt in the U.S. Once about having one adventure at a time with Autusm / Aspergers, but saw that as a positive attitude to the condition.

to all carers and especially Bluejug I was where you are very recently, have got DM in a care home now, but it has been a grim few months, and while life is easier I now have the guilt of knowing it's not what she wanted.

Nah not funny.

Dementia, at least for my dad has a bit of gallows humour and he can be happy with simple things like a wheel round the sparkly shit in M+S for Xmas. Every cake is " the best every" with a smile and a tummy pat, which is lovely but empty when you realise that, with the short term memory of a gnat, he probably doesn't really remember eating cake before to compare it too.

But it steals your relatives away and leaves you with a shell, if you are lucky you get a big kid like my dad,who is past remembering what he's lost. But still...

God it must be exhausting keeping up such po-faced professional offence all the time. Dementia is really not funny, except in those occasions when it's guiltily hilarious. I say this as someone who has watched so many family members go through this they were involved in research into the condition. I'm pretty sure I'll develop it (assuming I live long enough) and this is the sort of thing I could see myself buying. I think this could be better summed up as 'not to your taste' and that's fine. It doesn't mean it shouldn't be available for those who do see the funny side.

Funny... in a dry, gallows humour way.

I made my parents a couple of bright straps for their luggage. They by a 'thing' to be sewn on everywhere they go.

They joke that a) it is the only way they know their own luggage and b) one day it might be the only thing that they remember about their travels.

Like my mum's mum before her, DM is having as much adventure before dementia, cancer, COPD, CV disease get her.

But I doubt it is as wryly amusing to anyone who hasn't had this time, to knowingly have that conversation, prior to dementia setting in. I certainly wouldn't market one like that!

It's trivialising a serious mental illness and I just can't see the humour in it.

My grandmother died of vascular dementia. The bit where she forgot how to swallow was just fucking hilarious

Oh and I've just received my dads Deprivation of Liberty report today which makes pretty sad reading, when the assessor first saw my dad he was sat next to an elderly man who was sleeping in a chair. Dad wouldn't leave this man as he was convinced it was my step mum.
As I said before dementia isn't funny but some of the things that happen during this time are. dad has gone down hill quickly, it's not even two years since he was diagnosed I think I'm grateful for this

Give over those of you saying that none of it is funny. There are some bloody hilarious parts of it. The day I saw my grandad eating his lunch with a table of dinosaurs was hilarious.

Dementia is heartbreaking, shit, identity stealing fucker of a disease. Been there, seen it and cleaned up the poo. A sense of humour gets you through.

Interesting responses.

My thoughts are that gallows humour is one of those things that is so difficult to 'get right' without offending others, iyswim.

I feel that it's great to have a joke and laugh at dreadful stuff that's happening directly to you, if you are that way inclined obviously, and that jokes help us get through the worst of times. But there's something about people making gallows humour type of jokes about stuff that's absolutely not happening directly to them that I find a bit troubling.

I have a(n actually pleasant) friend, who's extremely proud of their vocal gallows humour, and they keep annoying and/or offending people. They are proud to the point of their sense of humour that they mention it about themselves at any possible opportunity, often in a faintly challenging way. It's actually quite boring though.

Then they get really angry and accuse people of having no sense of humour, but I'm not sure it's that simple.

What do others think?

Poor taste.

But at least they found something to rhyme with adventure, hey.

It's not for me, but it's obv not aimed at anyone with any real experience if this cruel illness.
I saw this slogan emblazoned on a camper van this year and as others have said, I get the sentiment but it was like a kick into the guts to read it.
It stands as a barometer of our societies understanding, perception of this illness, sadly minimal.
Laughter before Leukaemia, Party before Parkinson's, it just aint going to happen is it, but somehow this slogan is OK.
It's insensitive at best, insulting to those affected.

constance - "I don't see the problem. It's realism, those of us who don't die from heart attacks or cancer or whatever else will probably eventually lose our minds.If we want to laugh about it, why shouldn't we?"
the thing is though - the sufferers are not always aware of the dementia but it is heartbreaking for the family and I find this kind of thing insensitive and cruel. Yes we will all die of something but don't make a masty slogan about one of the most distressing ways to go.

My dad has almost the worst dementia you can imagine. We just have to take the laughs where we can. If you are personally affected by it, you are entitled to a bit of of gallows humour.

However, using it in advertising is in poor taste.

No, don't find it funny. But then I don't find jokes about diabetes funny either and they're bloody everywhere at the moment. 'Bill eats 5 sweets then 3 sweets. What does he have?" 'Diabetes". Cue much hilarity. FB friends think I'm humourless on the subject but that's because I have to inject my Type One son six times a day and watch him go hypo regularly, and check his blood glucose at 3am every single night. I imagine it's the same with dementia - once you have experienced it close hand and understand it, then seeing people using it for selling or entertainment purposes really, really grates.

However there is a world of difference between using knowing humour to deal with difficult situations - cancer, dementia etc and using it ignorantly to try and sell something.

I've been thinking about this this afternoon and yes, it's in poor taste and really icky to be using it to flog a product

Seeing that people are living longer and longer, dementia is more likely to happen to us - whether personally or to a loved one. Maybe it is not a bad idea to remember to do all the stuff you want to do before it's too late?
So, in conclusion, I don't disagree with the sentiment, but detest the marketing aspect of the silly case strap.