Bare feet in the house

[sheepwitch]

Three people live together. I'll call them Ben, Grace and Norah. All like being barefoot when in the house.

Ben doesn't like the appearance of Grace's bare feet. Ben doesn't generally have any issue with bare feet but used to know someone many years ago that had similar feet and he didn't like those either. Ben says that Grace's feet have "creepy long toes" and that they make him feel uncomfortable and on edge - he likens it to when someone who doesn't like spiders spots one lurking in a corner. Ben acknowledges that it is irrational to have such a strong reaction to a persons feet but thinks that Grace should keep her feet covered at all times (socks/slippers) as an act of courtesy towards him.

Grace doesn't see anything wrong with her feet ("they're just normal size 6 feet!"). Grace resents being asked to keep her feet covered in her own home as if she is some kind of freak in the foot department.

Norah has bigger fish to fry and is not fussed about anybodies feet and just wants a quiet life. Norah can see both points of view and has therefore been lumbered with the role of referee.

So, wise mumsnetters, who is being unreasonable here?

You should all live with me, you'll all be wearing slippers (Fake UGGs for £7 from Amazon )

OTOH Ben is being an arse
OTOH feet are grim and it's always good to have all feet in the house covered. Only exception is cats

I'm a bare foot fan so Ben is BU. But it depends how gross the feet are. I have a friend who has normal feet except the second toe is SO long. It looks like someone has grafted a finger it's place and it makes me want to puke. She should have to wear shoes always.

Ben is an arse but the obvious answer is that the house is far far too well heated. Turn the heating down and get the socks/ slippers on all of you!

Ben is BVU and needs to get over himself. Surely if he had a phobia it would be of all feet not just Grace's. Either way it's his problem and he needs to deal with it not push the problem onto Grace.

Ben is BU, he needs to grow up and stop looking at her feet if he doesn't like them.

If Ben and Grace are teenage siblings, then either they can both go barefoot, or they both have to wear socks. One rule for both. Don't indulge Ben's controlling ways. However if, as a pp suggested, Ben is the teenager dd and Grace the dh, then I have to side with Ben because many, many men have disgusting, hairy feet and I know this is irrational and probably unfemminist but if that is the case Grace should keep his smelly feet covered at all times.

Ben sounds like a right laugh at parties.

Ben is being unreasonable.

OP, you say you can see both points of view. Could you please explain Ben's to me. Because for the life of me I can't see how anyone could possibly feel entitled to tell someone that part of their body is too ugly to be visible.

On the face of it, Ben sounds like a twat. (I heavily suspect he would not whine about similar feet that were attached to a man.) Ben needs to grow up and understand that women are allowed to look how they look, and should not have to hide any bits that don't met his exacting standards.

How about a house rule that Ben may never look at the floor at any time? Everybody's happy.

Ben should raise his eyes and stop staring at feet. Different if Grace is always waving them around at eye level. I hate people putting feet on chairs or next to someone else on the sofa, OK if you have the sofa to yourself if not put your feet down.
I don't think Norah is being reasonable not expressing her opinion as Grace and Ben's point of views are not equally valid. Grace's is logical and Grace just wants to be treated as an equal. Ben wants to discriminate against her because her feet don't fit his overly fussy standards.
I'd tell Ben he has to live with it, and stop staring at other people's feet and being so precious.

I'd go with the turn the heating down option as well though. Here my feet are very cold if no socks or slippers.

If you have a irrational or unreasonable issue with something the duty is on you to either change your feelings on it or just cope with it, not on anybody else to change how they behave.

Ben must has amazing roommates if the only thing he can complain about is their weird feet. Perhaps you should tell him not to fuck it up, or he might end up with an room mate with normal feet who drinks the last of the milk and stomps in drunk in the middle of the night, pissing on the walls.

Get Ben to wear a blind gold 50% of the time and Gracie to wear slippers 50% of the time

Fold....not gold

They should all wear slippers and stop putting foot oils on the carpets

My ds has a facial birthmark. Some people react badly to it. Should he wear a sack? A mask?

Ben should get therapy. His problem.

Are Ben and Grace your teenage DC by any chance Norah sheepwitch ?

Yep Ben is BU of course, its not as if Grace has chosen her toe length to spite him ...

If it is really phobia like then both Ben and Grace should wear socks at all times - if Grace has to cover her feet so does Ben. However the fact it is not bare feet in general but just Grace's toes in particular that freak Ben out do rather support the general he's being a twat consensus rather than a foot phobia and CBT and everyone wearing footwear...

I hope Ben and Grace are siblings and Ben isn't Grace's parent/ step parent?

Thank you all. There seems to be consensus (as I suspected there might be). Plan of attack is:

1. Ben to get a grip
2. Slippers all round for Christmas

Bloody kids!!

You are all BU for having the heating up so high that you can stroll around barefoot in November.

But Ben is being the most U of all. He needs to get a grip and grow up.

My dd hates my feet. Hates my socks. Hates me being barefoot
makes me laugh

House rule is either:

All covered

Or

All bare

Or Ben could get over himself obviously.