To be thoroughly fed up of this situation

[Runningoutofnamesagain]

Ds1 is in yr4

Since reception he has had problems with a child in his class. At first I told him to keep away but he kept getting hurt.

I wrote in and nothing changed. Ds says that he tried to keep away but that this boy follows him
We've had incidents of strangling, pulling trousers and pants down, hitting, pushing and stamping.
The school do try and deal with it each time and we've had a couple of apology letters from him

I wrote in last year to ask that ds not be placed in a class with this child when they mixed the year up but he was ! Apparently the teacher forgot and then it was too late

Ds has come home today covered in mud and with scratches all over his stomach and unhappy. He was pushed over then dragged by his legs across the field :(

I've had enough. There have been other children hurt by the same child and I really really don't think the school are doing enough.
Ds has other health problems and if this carries on I'm worried he will be seriously hurt :(

pressed enter too soon.

You need to speak to the schools bullying compliance officer, or if you feel it has got passed this, you need to speak to your local LEA/local government ombudsmen

you need to have exhausted the list first which includes the school's complaints procedure

Yes, yes, yes. Why is so much of the advice offered here so bonkers?

Police are unlikely IME going to do anything - especially when child is under 10 and in junior school.

The bully clearly does have SEN. He has behavioural, social and likely emotional difficulties that aren't being addressed properly. It may not be a disability behind it but there is a reason for his behaviour.

It's doing neither the OPs DS or the bully any favours by not adressing the situation.

My best advice to you is to refuse to send your DS to school tomorrow stating safeguarding reasons. Back this up with an email. State clearly the evidence you have that the school cannot keep your DS safe.

I've been both sides of this - the parent of the child with ASD who has lashed out and hurt children but Who was also horrifically bullied for years by the same boy and his followers, they'd seek him out and hurt him, push him etc when he was off doing something else.

I hope your DS has settled well to sleep - I know how much bullying can affect rest and downtime etc as its always 'there' in your head. Give him a big slice of from me!

I never said the child would be able to do as they wish with no consequence, however it is not a police matter, it would be child services who would become involved.

The police legally cannot charge or arrest a child under 10.

You've had lots of good advice already OP and there's not much I can add. I just want to say I hope you are ok, it must be heart breaking to see your son going through this at school - somewhere he pretty much has to go.

I hope your ds is ok too, although I'm sure he will be as long as he knows you're sticking up for him, and it sounds like this other child is a problem for others in the class too, so I hope your ds at least has some understanding from his friends.

Good luck in dealing with it all.

You've had lots of good advice already OP

Agreed, I just hope she can find it amongst the more bizarre offerings.

Christ sorry op I'd have pulled my child from this school in reception.

My dd has a few boisterous boys in her class who at home time charge through crowds of children and toddlers. One boy knocked my dd (7) over today in his attempt to be first. I went ape shit I'm so sick of this child being allowed to behave this way while his mother stands by smiling sweetly saying boys will be boys. Fuck that. School principle is fond of sending home letters about running in the school yard, no bikes and scooters. Well nows the time to get tough.

Feel so sad for your ds. I wouldn't send him back until it's sorted. He must be terrified

Presumably what you want is for your child to be at school, learning and unmolested. How would 'pulling him out' really help? Email the school and governors tomorrow outlining the facts about these incidents and ask for their anti-bullying plans to be put in place and an emergency meeting with the head.

Runningoutofnamesagain how did things go today?

All best wishes.

Heebiejeebie Re Presumably what you want is for your child to be at school, learning and unmolested. How would 'pulling him out' really help?

I think people may be saying to take the child out of school and either find a different school or not return the child until the issue is resolved. Of course everyone wants their child to be 'learning and unmolested'. If it were the choice between learning and being bullied at the school or learning elsewhere I would (IMHO) much rather my child learnt elsewhere.

I think one of the reasons these things take so long to resolve is that parents have no real way to force a school to take action. Maybe if all victims of bullying were kept off school for a period of time the school would be forced to take action. A sad way to force a school to take action but there you have it. If I thought I would face this treatment at my work place would I be going in tomorrow! NO WAY!

The advert ends with

"Une journée de travail ne ressemble pas à ca.... Et une journée D'école?"

"A day at work does not not resemble this.... And a day at school?" Or words to that effect

Greyhound that's a really thought provoking video.

Op you've had some great advice here, but if the school still don't deal with it I really would consider moving him. I was bullied and it shredded my self esteem.

Saying the teacher apparently "forgot" to mix the boys up is questionable. There's no way a school would admit this. It's unprofessional. OP where did you get the information that the teacher "forgot"? Also teachers don't usually get a say in these decisions it's the senior management team.

Running, Sorry your lad is being bullied and outraged the the head teacher is so loathe to take action. Give them fair warning that one further incident and you'll relate this all on Facebook naming the school and the child responsible. You've been more than reasonable and been given the runaround. Time to roll up your sleeves.

We went through this. We did all the right things, jumped through all the hoops, and eventually after a year I said next time, thump him. Hard. I'll back you up. He didnt have any more bother after that.
But your lads case sounds more serious. That kid needs to be stopped. Helped if possible, but somewhere else away form vulnerable kids.

Very sorry to hear that CatThiefKeith. What would have helped you when you were going through that, how could the adults have empowered you? I do hope your self esteem is better now, if not, please do consider counselling.

I was not bullied but was very shy and dyslexic as a child, had OCD as a teen, and eventually anxiety as an adult. I have had lots of counselling and it has helped immensely.

Running we are all rooting for you and your lovely DS.

knobblyknee this bullying child needs to be kept away from others until he can be 'in company.' Other children are only vulnerable because he is a bully.

I think hitting back is totally appropriate but sometimes is not the best thing, not for any child who is smaller, lighter or physically weaker, and I have no idea how physical the op's son is.

I do know 'good' boys who held back from hitting back and were picked on by smaller boys, finally when they cold not stand the shit any more they did hit back and the behaviour stopped. Fabulous, but that only works if the child being bullied feels able to do this. I would certainly say to my son, in those situations, do hit back (if other avenues had been explored) and that I would support them. Just as I would expect anyone to support me if someone attacked me in an unprovoked attack.

But it may not help and it is best to access what will work.

It's all shit but we are the adults here and we need to advocate for all kids against bullies.