to expect my DP to cart me off somewhere safe for me

[HawkEyeTheNoo]

So...... I'm making steak pie for tea, as I was bashing my oxo cubes I suddenly found myself talking to the camera person from "come dine with me" as to,

1. Why I bashed the oxo cubes before putting them in the pot
2. Why I use six oxo cubes
3. Why I have left it so late to start cooking this tea which will take hours to tenderise.

So, this is all fair and well if I was actually on the programme but I was talking OUTLOUD to someone who isn't there!

I'm off sick from work just now so am alone a lot and I'm aware I sometimes have conversations in my head with people () but I think this is the first time I've turned my head to look at the person who clearly isn't there and answer the questions I have imagined them asking me! Jeezo even the cat looked perplexed! I need to get out more!! I did have a chuckle to myself at the thought of telling DP and him calling my mum saying "that's it Hawk's mum, she's finally lost it, bring the shotgun!" So decided to tell you lot instead

Fingeroffudge I'M IN!!!!!

I used to pretend that I was in a washing up advert.

I decided I might be cracking up earlier in the week when I woke up at the end of a dream having dreamt that all of the characters gathered round at the end. I shook each of their hands and thanked them for taking part in my dream and said goodbye.

MrSlant my dog gets up and leaves the room if I start singing. Everyone's a critic,

Glad to see i'm not the only
Mad one.
I have great conversations with my cats

I love arguing with bosses/coworkers/family in my head. I always win!

I talk out loud too, more to my DD who isn't quite talking yet, but it's really nonsensical rambling about whatever is on my mind.

I really ought to stop the head conversations though, I caught DD mimicking my hand gestures and whispering gibberish to herself yesterday. I can't tell DH that I broke out baby.

*broke our baby

The Oxo flattening thing is fabulous! I read about it here and have done it ever since. Very satisfying. I could use 6 at a time, just because it's so fascinating to flatten and pour . You don't even need to open the corners, they pop up all by themselves. You can do it with your fingers, don't have to have a special implement.

I have found the beef Oxo are more likely to spring a leak in the process than any of the other flavours.

So how did the pie go down with the family then HawkEye? Did you all get into the CDWM spirit and root around each others' things before sitting down and having an argument, then slag off the food in private pieces to camera between courses?

My children sometimes ask me to "Be on TV, Mummy!" and I have to narrate making dinner in the style of a Youtuber. It is a lot of fun!

I was interviewed last night by a crew about my reaction to this thread , while cycling home from work. The interviewer was fascinated. Eyebrows were raised when I admitted my lack of duvet-cover-wrangling-MN-approved-technique consistency, somewhere along North Carriage Drive in London's Hyde Park.
I suggested to the cameraman that he came back this morning, as a travelling shot with the Winter Wonderland big wheel backdrop might be more interesting from the other side, in the morning.
He was fascinated at my creative input and we got a few good shots on my way to work.
All in all, the sounds takes weren't bad either, considering I was a bit puffed out.

Commuting is such fun.
I wonder what they'll ask me about tonight?

I'll be driving along having an argument convo in my head and start gesticulating or shaking my head.
I often don't know I'm doing it though and forget there are other people in the car.

Dd looks at me like , but OH does it too, so I'm safe then.

Duchess you sound like you are already a tv veteran you are someone famous aren't you?? Tell me!! And I would love to have you round for an episode of CDWM!

Jessiemcjessie well, the pie went down it's usual fantastic way as I am a domestic fuckwit goddess! If we all shouted, moaned, complained and bitched to each other CDWM stylee, it would be tame compared to the reality of the ructions in this house!!

I quite often listen to my iPod planning my dance routine on strictly to whatever track is playing. I never ever actually do some of the steps while walking along, oh no

HawkEye I would be delighted! I'm not famous but working in film, where thankfully for the public I'm safely behind the scenes and it's better like this

Im so glad there are others like me. Its very reassuring
I love being by myself so i can carry on acting out the story in my head. I love my alternate world in which i am actually in control

I was talking to my neighbour's cat this morning:

NC: Miaow!!!!
Me: Where's your daddy?
NC: Miaowwww????
Me: Sorry pesky cat, I don't have any food for you
NC: Miaowwww
Me: Why hasn't your dad had your balls cut off yet?
NC: Miaowww!!!
Me: Tell your dad I'm going to take you to the vet to get your balls cut off
NC: But I'm so cute and fluffy, how could anyone do that to me?*

This was all witnessed by some random passers-by who I think were German and gave me this look

*I may have made that line up but the sentiment was the same.