to think that girls are allowed to stay childish longer than boys?

[OstentatiousBreastfeeder]

Me and DH were talking about this last night and he believes the opposite is true.

I think that for girls it's acceptable, normal even, for them to play with baby dolls and have 'childish' interests for longer than boys are 'allowed' to.

I'm basing this purely on observing DS (5) and his friends in his year 1 class. DS loves the Octonauts and a few other TV shows, which obviously make up a lot of what he talks about. Lately he's been telling me that his friends think he's babyish, that he should be playing Minecraft and watching the Avengers films instead (he's not allowed to do either just yet) which is what they all seem to be doing. We walk to school with a few of his classmates and I've heard it firsthand too. He obviously feels as a result that there's a pressure there to be more grown up, which is sad.

In contrast, the girls in his class are all rainbows and baby dolls. There doesn't seem to be that pressure for them. DH pointed out that in few short years, there will be immense pressure for them to appear as grown up as possible, along with all the other pressures that come with being a teenage girl. But it's the same for boys at that age too, to a certain extent, isn't it?

AIBU to think boys experience it earlier and wonder why that is?

YABU.

Girls are forced to grow up FAR too quickly.

I don't think that's true. See the " playing in the playground" teens thread.

Certainly the boys when DS was at school (he's now nearly 20) played after the girls had changed to just hanging about and chatting.

Is it to do with the increase in screen use in the few short years since mine were kids? I think it might be- tablets weren't a thing and they didn't get internet till teens really

I see what you mean. DS is 5 and loves his wooden train set still yet he was made fun of by a child a year older than him for still playing with it.

I think at this stage it is more acceptable for girls to stay more childish, but then it swaps in a couple of years when girls seem to be forced to make a greater leap.

YABU. I'm my experience, most pre-school girls are far more grown-up than boys.

Perhaps I may just be seeing it from my own perspective as a mother of a 5yo boy. I don't know firsthand the way it works for girls at this age, just what I've observed really.

Nope I don't think either is right; all children generally seem as though they're often exposed to more adult stuff at an earlier age.

I have two boys aged 10 & 4 and the 10 year old still plays with the 4 year old's Playmobil and wooden train sets, they dress up as knights and dick about walloping each other with swords, they go bezerk on the trampoline together and both are still very much little boys. Some of DS1's mates from school have suddenly gone very 'teenage' with their behaviour, and although I think it's inevitable eventually, you don't have to allow it to happen too fast. You can keep them young for a while longer if you hold off on the pre-teen stuff wherever possible.

In contrast the female friends DS1 has are all very much older than their years. His best female friend is 2 months younger than him but is like a teenager, fussing over hair, makeup and clothes. DS1 couldn't give a shit how he looks and when we go shopping for clothes he judges them on how far he can lunge in new jeans in order to fight with DS2 better. From what little I've seen girls mature (generalising massively) much faster. And are expected to do so.

I have noticed this with DS. He is 7 and when we move he wants "a teenager's room". He's into everything "cool" and "awesome" - star wars (never seen a film), avengers (ditto), etc. Lots of games. Which isn't a surprise as we are a tech heavy household, but he's really into it. Since he was about five he's been obsessed with being "like a teenager" and when he poses he asks "Do I look like a teenager?" He didn't. He looked like a cross five year old

I agree that it probably swaps with girls. Boys get to stick in the 10-12 bracket for longer, even if they seem to want to be in it earlier. Whereas girls are zoomed straight to the 13-16 bracket and expected to stay in that.

Yabu. In most parts of the world girls have to grow up a lot quicker sadly.

My experience in primary is that certain sets of parents are effectively forcing their children to grow up.

They equate maturity with being advanced, and force the children to eschew from past times they consider babyish, but in actual fact are ideal for their age.

It's completely the other way round. Girls grow up too fast! The doll playing is preparation for their 'nurturing' side , once they pass that stage they're expected to be ready for procreation.
The boys in the meantime continue to play with their Octonauts, Minecraft and watching Avengers. By the time the babies arrive the boys are just beginning to mature.

I don't think so either really.

So much pressure on girls re makeup etc. Just look at the clothes in the age 6 upwards categories.

Acceptable for boys can play wit Lego well into secondary. Also things like war-gaming.
Boys can run around the playground being boisterous for ever, and definitely playing football.

Both my girls found in y5/y6 that many other girls just wanted to hang around, rather than play.

The more 'mature' kids always seem to tell the other that they are babyish, it just makes them feel big. Those with older siblings end to grow up faster.

YABU

My DH hasn't stopped playing with his trainset yet and he is nearly 50.

I've only got girls, but I don't really agree. Girls do the "You're too old for Shopkins" thing just as much as boys IME.

Apparently Frozen is now too n

It just seems a shame that even as young a five, the styles of play are so different along the lines of gender stereotypes (minecraft/octanauts v baby dolls/rainbows).

I would have hoped there was more of an overlap, but it separation just seems to be getting more and more entrenched.

I think it's the opposite.

Boys are still OK arsing around with playstations when they're in their 40s.

tend to grow up faster

Can I clarify that my post was referring to all children not exclusively girls or boys.

Aff to contemplate for the Y4s at our school. It's all Smiggle and Jacqueline Wilson now.

I think you have it the wrong way round.

My nearly 13 year old and his friend still muck about with minecraft and Lego and mini-drones and those guns that shoot foam pellets.

Most 13 year old girls haven't "played" for years.

Yabu.

All children who start school are pressured into ditching "babyish" stuff like Thomas the Tank Engine, Dora and Peppa. (My youngest is 9 so no idea how Octonauts fit into things.)

Minecraft is basically digital Lego so I think you're unusual to consider it grown up (although as the parent this is obviously your choice to make.) The Avengers movie is a 12A so I understand why you wouldn't want your 5 year old to watch it but watching the movie isn't a prerequisite for playing Avengers. The Avengers appear in cartoons, computer games and other milder screen variants and can be summed up as "good guys who go after the bad guys."

My daughter is 12 and is under immense pressure that boys her age are not. Her generation are using filters on their social media photos and some of them are duck facing and trying to "be sexy".

I think at this stage it is more acceptable for girls to stay more childish, but then it swaps in a couple of years when girls seem to be forced to make a greater leap.

Yes, this is what I'm thinking.

I work as a TA. Lots of the yr 5 & 6 girls are still playing. Making up dances etc...
The boys too, some playing football.
Some children try to claim that something is babyish...that really ruins it for the child who was previously enjoying it.

My dd was being laughed at for her octonaut obsession when she was 5. Nothing to do with girls or boys and everything to do with publicly announcing to liking anything at all on Cbeebies after the age of 3 or 4. I know that many of them still secretly watch Cbeebies shows aged 8, but can't say that, destroys their street cred.

I think the exact opposite. My 9 year old DD has hit puberty whereas 11 year old DS is still a way away.

DD also feels very much more the weight of expectation and peer pressure; DS still mostly oblivious.

YABU. Boys never grow up. Only the prices of their toys do.