Is this usual? Scouts

[Pyjamaramadrama]

Ds goes to Cubs, he enjoys it, leaders seem lovely, no problems.

At the weekend there was an event involving the Beavers, Cubs, Scouts.

I thought that perhaps the way one of the Scout leaders was speaking to the children was a bit off. He was looking after the Scouts, so the older ones and he was shouting like a Sergeant major. Shouting "Right, attention", fair enough but then yelling and I mean properly yelling at a couple of the kids "stand up straight boy", "oi, hands out yer pockets boy".

I genuinely don't know if this is odd for scouts. Personally I'm not keen on that approach at all but dh just thought it was normal.

Oh btw I've absolutely no problem with other adults telling kids off including my own. I've no problem kids being told to stand up straight or take hands out of pockets, it was the sergeant major approach and the "oi you boy" type talk.

It reminded me of my bully of a father.

It's probably just the style of that particular leader; I wouldn't say it was necessarily the way that things are always done in Scouts.
Scout leaders are all unpaid volunteers (there is no selection process)

Were they doing drill at the time? Alert, at ease etc? It mimics army drill and the above would be normal when doing drill. Not so normal if they were on a hike or playing games

Oh I realise that grumpy, I know their volunteering and what a fantastic thing to do.

I just wondered if there was a general scouts, instilling discipline type thing going on?

In general a scout leader has to be pretty tough- teenage boys are a handful! His style may well work for him- and the boys may well respond to it- if they seem happy, all is probably good.

They're volunteering.

No treebird but they were about to go into church so would've been expected to be smart not slouching around.

Reading back I feel I sound a bit precious, my dad was a right arsehole to us and would scream and bark at us like we were in the army so I'm quite sensitive to yelling and barking orders.

It does sound a bit military but I'll have to confess I don't know much about how the Scouts operate. Will your son's contact with the sergeant-major be frequent? If not, I wouldn't worry too much.

Well assuming it was the remembrance day parade, its normal for them to be way smarter than usual, so probably a bit stricter than usual too.

I was involved with the scouts for a long time and the above would be normal when attending a church service.

We would have had our uniform checked and had to march into the church and sit still for the whole mass.

When not on parade though it was the best fun ever. I have amazing memory's and it has shaped the person I am.

You are not babied, you expected to use cop on and it is a wonderful way of teenagers being challenged in a safe environment.

i don't think you are being precious but if you are unfamiliar with the set up it may seem strange.

Sounds awful to me

I didn't know that scouts did 'drill' and so on? Thank fuck my children never got in (huge waiting list)

I am sorry OP, I agree with you, it's not on to speak to children like this. It's demeaning.

I'm guessing it was a Remembrance Service? Perhaps he just got a bit carried away by he military thing.

Although....you'd assume that the Scout leader would have know their names and not had to say oi!boy

Our Scout leader is nothing like that. So I would say more the style of that particular leader.

Normal for Remembrance Day parades ime.

With all due respect Amastasie its not a youth club, its scouts. And the massive waiting list may tell you something.

I am from a deprived area and the difference in the outcomes from the kids who went to scouts and those who didn't is massive.

What happens in scouts is in no way comparable to an abusive parent (and i'd know believe me)

Remembrance parade?
I run Brownies and the only time we ever march (and practice marching) is for Remembrance Parade. It's a community service/respect thing and in front of the smartly turned out Veterans we do sometimes get a bit 'by the right'.
Maybe your Scout Leader was doing the same thing?

Mine are in cubs and beavers. I think the stuff they get to do is great. But I don't like the quasi-military style of some of it, it does make me uncomfortable, so I also wouldn't like to hear a leader barking orders like that.

As others have said, it's probably his particular style rather than something generally expected of leaders.

Yes remembrance parade.

Ds wouldn't be going to that group for ages.

It was calling them boy that made me cringe a bit.

If he'd said "right everyone, smarten up, no slouching or hands in pockets".

I'm just very aware that they are volunteering and the kids will be getting lots from it, ds enjoy it.

We had a leader like this and tbh I was very concerned about the way he spoke to some of the kids and terrified that he'd do the same with mine, who are a bit sensitive. It took a while but I got to know that leader and he was probably one of the best they have ever had. He shouted at the more resistent kids to behave - ds said without him it was chaos. If ds ever had a issue with another kid, he went straight to this leader who sorted it out properly. He really cared about the kids, helped build confidence, gave them tasks and responsibilities to help them grow as people. He responded to the kids on an individual basis. He did a damn fine job.
At the end of the two years my dcs saw the whole shouty thing as a bit of a joke and in turn he was pleased about this because it showed how their confiedence had grown.

I totally get that treebird, I was just pointing out that I might be sensitive to yelling and orders due to my parent.

I am a Beaver Leader.

I wouldn't say it was "normal" and I would probably not be impressed calling a child by "boy" rather than by name, but Scouts at that age do often need strict discipline. Some of our Scouts are awfully behaved and it really frustrates me that our leaders are not a bit harder on them. At the end of the day, the young people are there to learn, have fun and stay safe. Teaching respect is a huge part of Scouting, and behaving appropriately at a memorial service is hugely important.

But, as a leader, I probably would have made a comment to the leader about his use of language.

I think there is a danger looking at a leader out of context. This is a very serious occasion, the Scouts are on display, they are there in their very best uniform and shiny shoes and all for the respect of the fallen.

FOr all you know, the leader might actually be a complete pussy cat during meetings.

We had one ex military chap in Cubs. during flag and grand howl, he was very strict about properly bracing and standing to attention - and could be quite shouty. The rest of the time he was hilarious. We once ran an assault course, and he played sergeant major, screaming at the kids that his 85 year old mum and his pet snail were faster up the ropes than they were etc. The kids were in fits of giggles and actually when he stopped, they asked if he could shout at them some more.

So get to know him before you judge.

Thanks Alice and Fanny, I appreciate the insight and perspective.

Ds leaders in his particular group seem amazing anyway. He's enjoying himself right now so I guess that's what's important.

Sorry if I offended, I am a bit tired this morning and my language was uncalled for.

It's just I didn't realise there was a military element to scouts at all.

It's never been presented to me as such.

My Ds has been through Beavers, Cubs and Scouts and I wouldn't say that there has ever been anything remotely military about it!
All the leaders are individuals and have their own style. I would hate to do Scouts - they are rowdy, boisterous and get remarkably silly I speak as the mother of one There are some occasions when they need to be reminded that it's not about them, and they need to behave properly - remembrance Day is one of those. That approach wouldn't worry me at all - there will be more than one leader, who will have a different approach.