To think it's wrong that my dad called my 2 year old niece a bi**h

[Lolo37]

Not to her face but he referred to her as this because of her 2 year old irrational behaviour. I feel upset that he can talk about a child like this.

I don't know whether to say anything to him or just let it go as he is probably old and stuck in his ways. It's just so wrong

It's completely unacceptable.
And he also needs to realise that of course a two year old is going to be irrational !!!!

It's so sad. What is wrong with him to talk about a child in that way. She was his favourite grandchild until he saw her tantrums. He has no understanding of this behaviour. It's so weird that he said this and I am in shock

Why on earth would any man refer to any female as a bitch? Especially a child? I just don't understand it. Is that like his default language for any female who does anything he doesn't 100% agree with?

He needs to be told he is unacceptable
yanbu at all.

Don't care how old he is, it's never been OK to refer to a young girl in that way no matter where you were raised. Give him grief and lots of it. Just my opinion based on what you've said.
Obviously if he is suffering with dementia then unfortunately it is a case of not really being able to understand why a person would come out with something like this. If it is out of character this could be an early warning sign

YANBU, but more importantly - she was his favourite grandchild until he saw her tantrums, which are a totally normal and important part of child development?

You need to have a chat with him. 2 year olds aren't rational. They are meant to have tantrums and to push boundaries, that's what they do at that age. It's our job as parents/grandparents to help them negotiate their way through life, and deal with frustrations and anger.

Not nice at all

My mam would often say about my daughter "she's a little bitch, that one" and it's almost a term of endearment! I'd never use that word myself but have heard colleagues use the word freely and wouldn't mean harm!

Just curious, is the child's mother aware of what he said and if so, what was her reaction? If not, I think she should be told.

Actually, I should have said the child's parents, not just the mother.

Oh dear, my DF used to do this about his DGD. He used to use all sort of awful words about anything and everything and if challenged would laugh and say he was old so what were you going to do about it? It's like he lost all his filters. And he got attention from doing it. I gave up challenging him and gave up spending time with him. He died 4 years ago and I miss him terribly but still don't understand why he acted like this in the later years of his life.

maggieryan I am at your post. "almost a term of endearment"? WTF?

Have to agree that it's not an acceptable term - whether said in her hearing or not. Wonder what he would have called a grandson in similar circs?

I find things like this really bizarre. Without going into too much detail (it would seriously out me if the person was on here) an acquaintance of mine told her 3yo to stop being a [foul mouthed insult related to her child's disability] while I was talking to them a few days ago. She thought nothing of it but I almost fell off the bloody floor I was so shocked by it. Some people just don't see it as an issue.

That is terrible. Does he normally talk like that? He needs to be told it's unacceptable. I know he didn't say it in front of her but if her parents hear about it they will probably be very upset, I know I would be.

His behaviour is bizarre on two levels. Of course it's awful to call a toddler such an offensive word but also it's strange that she used to be his favorite till he saw her tantrums, does he not remember tantrums are normal for small children? So his love for her is conditional on her behaviour and he thinks it's acceptable to insult her. I hope he changes his attitude towards her before she's old enough to pick up on it :(.

Depends on context.

Is he calling her a little bitch in a "I love my little Assholes/Toddlers are assholes" context to be irreverent and you took it the wrong way (you have right to disapprove but there might not be actual malice)?

Or is he doing it in a very obviously derogatory sense like he would call a grown woman he doesn't like?

I think part of it is that he swears too easily. I say she used to be his favourite but that's me presuming. I have kids too and he didn't seem bothered about them once niece came along but now he's seen another side to her then he seems to have gone off her a bit too.
He's always been incredibly lovely at times but inappropriate at others. I don't think it's a sign of dementia but as he gets older his vetting mechanism does seem to get worse.
I think I will speak to him if I hear him saying anything else inappropriate.
Thanks for all your comments. I'm pleased to know I'm not over reacting.

Senpai, he was saying it in a derogatory way.

My language in general is terrible but I really wince when I hear children referred to in horrible language. Really nasty to talk of a two year old girl as that.
If you hear him say it again just say 'that's a horrible way to talk about a child' and walk away.

What a nasty thing to say about a 2 year old. It's definitely not normal.

It's really not on. You should have very serious words with him. If he's in the full of his health, this is an abhorrent way to speak about a small child.

My dad has said the same about my kids, perhaps even when one was a small baby and cried a lot. I challenge him and have kicked him out of my house for being a dick. He's used to calling people and being nasty but thinking its a joke. He's got better as he's been challenged. They seem to forget what kids are like, or perhaps he parented like that - both my sister and I suffer with low self esteem and depression but he denies his behaviour was bad. Best try to protect the kids from that and don't let him get away with it. My dad isn't that old. Although he is far more caring in other ways than my inlaws.

G run knuckle. ..yep my mam loves my kids so yes I know she doesn't mean it. Like I said have heard this used a lot. Maybe it just happens where I live:)