To think this colleague is just plain rude?

[ScribblerOnTheRoof]

There is a guy working in my office, he started about 6 months ago and has always said he thinks the job is shit. I have been here for 3 years and made some excellent friends here.

We were talking about our upcoming Christmas party, the boss pays for us to have a 3 course meal and unlimited drinks. It is on a Saturday afternoon and goes into the evening.

As we were discussing it, the new guy chipped in and said "Can we not have the party on a Friday instead? Or a Thursday? I spend all wekk with you people and don't wanna use my weekend time with you too" I kind of half laughed, thinking he must be joking. Turns out he wasn't and before the conversation even ended he was calling the lady downstairs to tell her he would not be coming.

Ok. Fair enough, a lot of people think that way and I guess he is simply speaking his mind.

Over the last 2 weeks he has not spoken to anyone. Tells us we are annoying, to stop humming along to a tune etc.

He doesn't say goodbye or good morning, just sits there in a mood which seems to be causing animosity.

The Manager has asked him if everything is ok and he says yes.

If anyone else comes into the office he will speak to them but seems to absolutely hate us!

He sounds like a dick very hard work. I'd be telling him that no-one actually gives a shit if he doesn't come on the night out.

Doesn't sound like he would want to go even if it was on a Thursday of Friday so why would he say anything??

He sounds a bit rude, yes. But I can see it from his POV too. I'd hate to work in an office where people hummed along to "tunes" - do you have music on too? That could be v annoying.
And the works do on a Saturday is crackers. Who has a Saturday free to spend time with colleagues they see all week?! I wouldn't be going...

YABU. I don't do work socials either, neither on a Saturday nor on weekdays. My free time is precious and the company has no right to it. Re. the poster who mentioned interview questions along the lines of "fitting in" and "working with a team" - things like this refer to work, not fee time. A company can expect you to work well in a team - but not to spend your free time with your co-workers.

I would also ask you to stop humming, it's very irritating. Work is best done in silence.

We were invited to a fun weekend away for work, Friday night to Sunday. I said I'd need to be paid for 48h to do that or else have Monday and Tuesday off. Was called a killjoy of course, but didn't go. Maybe they all thought me rude.

All these people saying they'd never attend anything on a Saturday sound quite odd. Though we have our christmas do on a Friday afternoon/evening, we have a black tie (paid for but with cash bar after meal) summer ball. It is one night of the year, and the company is paying....surely you don't despise your work colleagues that much?!

I don't despise them, Tappity, I simply have better friends than office mates. Balls I'd rather atend, dinners with entirely chosen company (and minus boss and trainees sitting there).

But yes, there is the odd do good enough to go even on a weekend. Office Christmas party is not one of them. Drunk boss in paper crown and Jane the receptionist canoodling Kevin fom IT is best done without me.

attend

Not odd at all. I see my colleagues all day every day and like them very much. Indeed, I occasionally socialise with a few of them outside work.
But I have friends and family spread all over the country and only a tiny number of weekends to see them in, especially during the Christmas period.
Add in races, birthday parties and events I want to take my DS and DH to, and there's no time left on Saturdays or Sundays to be going to work things. I don't think it's odd to prioritise friends over work.

tappity, I don't despise anyone at work, I just have better things to do. "One night of the year?" Don't you have a Chrismas party, leaving dos, birthdays, end-of-project-celebration dos etc? I am costed to two separate teams within the company, this means I'd have to attend 3 Christmas parties (the big all-company one and the two team ones). Shudder. And yes, the big all-company one is all paid for (a fashionable club hired just for us that day, etc), but I'm not so hard up that I would give up an evening for food and drink...

I happily work many unpaid hours most weeks and it's fine but that doesn't mean I would socialise with my colleagues. I don't go to work social events - they aren't compulsory and I would rather stick pins in my eyes - not because I despise any of my colleagues but I don't want to pretend I'm enjoying an event when I'm not.

Tbf, I don't socialise with anyone so it's nothing personal!

He sounds rude but I wouldn't go on a Saturday and I'd want to bang someone off a wall if I had to listen to them hum along with a song!

Nothing wrong with a work party one Saturday a year.

I am a little at the 'under no circumstances' responses but each to their own I guess.

Surely part of the attraction of a work party was how everyone took the piss the day of to go get ready!

Walter I'm not sure what you mean... take the day off to get ready? People at my office clock in/out at usual times on the "night out" days.

Not in mine. People go off early for a beano.

He sounds like a dick. Speak to manager, im sure there are plenty more people who would apreciate a job!

I'm mostly with your colleague here. There would be a mutiny at my work if the Christmas party was at the weekend, and not just from the poor people who commute.

I would also get incredibly annoyed with people singing whilst I'm trying to do my work. There are also days when I don't feel like talking to anyone. It looks like he's fed up with the job and doesn't care if he upsets anyone.

Ah yes, get him sacked because he doesn't want to go to the Christmas piss up and he doesn't want to work with people who hum along to their favourite tunes.

There are multiple things like that yes but just the one on a Saturday. It doesn't sound like OP's colleague is being asked to give up multiple Saturdays. I didn't attend the last one as I had 4 different invites on the same night and ended up going out with family as it was my dad's birthday. But that doesn't mean I moaned about it as OP's colleague seems to, or told my colleagues that I didn't want to spend time with them...!

There are some whingy people here to say it is a free meal!

He sounds like a rude arse. I don't get all the "I'd never go out with colleagues on a Saturday night"

I've been on quite a few work nights out on a Saturday night - admittedly not a Christmas do, but I actually liked my colleagues so we often arranged nights out.

The worst night to have a Christmas party is a weeknight. Or maybe that was just the one place I worked where everyone got totally pissed and half of them didn't turn up to work the next day and the other half that did had stonking hangovers!

I'm not that desperate for a free meal! It's not worth the hassle of dressing up and having to spend an evening with people I spend every day with!

I mean the day of the party.

Nobody in any of the offices I ever worked in did much more than doss around for a while then start getting ready drinking at around lunch time! Twas marvellous!

I'm so glad other people have picked up on the music thing - I have to put up with a noisy radio right next to my desk plus irritating colleagues singing/humming along or laughing at the inane presenters. It's bloody annoying and very distracting so I do have a great deal of sympathy for your colleague OP although convention/politeness dictates that you don't usually voice your irritation like he has and that you go along with things like office parties even if you'd rather not.