AIBU to be pissed off in the supermarket queue has a go at me for being rude to the shop assistant, when I had a valid reason

[CarpetDiem]

So, I was stood at the check out, woman in front was packing up her stuff, I was getting served. The girl on the checkout had already put her 'till closed' sign up behind my shopping. A woman in her seventies came up & tried to put her shopping on to be told 'I'm closing now' fair enough, two minutes later a twenty something couple came and did the same & she said nothing. So I said 'sorry she's closing now' & the checkout girl said 'it's ok' I replied 'er, no, that's not fair, you just sent that older woman away' she huffed & repeated 'it's ok just once'. I was not amused, I hate unfairness, especially when it was blatantly ageist. So when she asked me if I wanted a bag, do you have a points card? I said 'no & no' to which the customer in front of me ( still packing her shopping) said 'there is no need for you to be rude to her'! I said 'what's it got to do with you?' & she repeated herself, as did I. She walked off gossiping away to who I presume was her mum.
AIBU? I've just got home & it's really pissed me off

[WorraLiberty]

You're the sort of person who really annoys my 83yr old Dad.

He quietly and politely cringes when well meaning people keep bringing his age into everything.

[AliceInUnderpants]

You are also disablist. You cannot assume that the 'earlier in life' couple were more able bodied just because they were younger. I am more disabled than most people I know that are twice my age.

Maybe the young, all dancing couple were her mates and she just fancied a blether before she clocked off, or wanted to run them through with her staff discount.

[ConstanceMarkYaBitch]

I am weirdly obsessed with injustice

You're not fecking Batman, you're just another rude nosy person at a checkout.

[lorelei9]

SparklingBrook "Blimey, does anyone on MN just got through a supermarket checkout without some sort of ding dong/incident any more?"

my usual chat with Aldi guy -

Me - "how are you?"
Him - "oh I'm delightful! It's the other people who are the problem".

We have this conversation twice a week or so and he's always right

[ImportantSpanielBusiness]

I work in a commonly sneered at job and am always referred to as a 'girl', including being informed by men that I am a 'good girl' it seems to be a theme for women in jobs that are viewed as lesser, to be called girls, when they are adults. No one says 'the girl is coming to administer your anaesthetic now' 'our HR girl is coming round with the forms now' etc. OP herself was being ageist by calling the checkout employee a female child.

Why don't people who are so easily stressed by everyday events just shop online?

[Sparklingbrook]

lorelei

I yearn to see a checkout shenanigan or a row on a bus. Or Batman in Morrisons.

[Seeyounearertime]

Maybe the checkout persons manager walked by as the younger couple came up? She may have gotten in the shitnif she said no.
Maybe it's store policy that when you put the sign out you're not allowed to turn more than 1 customer away?
Maybe the checkout person knew the young couple?
Maybe the checkout person liked the appearance of one of the couple?
There's a myriad of reasons, not necessarily ageism.

[shutupanddance]

spaniel Are you a traffic girl warden?

[MilkTwoSugarsThanks]

Surely referring to the female person serving at the checkout as a "girl" is ageism

[ConstanceMarkYaBitch]

Indeed it is ageism. But the OP is "weirdly obsessed with injustice", perhaps she makes a point of being unjust?

[WorraLiberty]

Does anyone else ever chat to a checkout assistant and think to themselves, 'Mumsnet would have a field day over this'?

The other day a checkout lady commented on my choice of food and my dog's choice of food

Just a nice normal chat like...but some people would have been apoplectic that she dared to open her mouth, other than to ask for the money.

And she didn't even 'sneer' at me either??!!

[Damselindestress]

I think jumping to the assumption that she was ageist was wrong, she might have realised she had made a mistake with the time or that no one was coming to take her off yet and it was busy so she felt she couldn't keep turning people away. There could have been a variety of other factors apart from the customer's age. You don't know what was going on in the checkout assistant's head and you shouldn't tell her how to do her job.

[roundaboutthetown]

Indeed, Constance. How ludicrous to jump to the conclusion that the lady at the checkout didn't like elderly women.

[MrsGentlyBenevolent]

ConstanceMarkYaBitch

Were you traumatised at a young age op? Did you see your parents short changed as a child, and have made it your life mission to fight the injustice in all supermarkets? You should report this to Store-manager Gordon asap!

In other words - yes you were being unreasonable. I have been in this position, usually say no, then see the shop is busier than I though and served a couple of more customers (even if it means leaving work later, for the same shitty pay as not eaving later).

[kali110]

Nope just sounds like you're a very rude person!
You simply jumped straight to agism which is really nasty when you don't know the reason at all!
Maybe she was simply fed up of saying no, knew the couple or maybe the couple were known customers for making a complaint about everything??
( having actually worked in retail you recognise customers who always cause a scene if they don't get their own way) she probably thought it would be easier to just serve them.
You didn't know the situation you just jumped to that conclusion straight away.
You were clearly rude as another customer pulled you up on it.

[roundaboutthetown]

I wonder - would the world be a better place if, having decided you had been rather harsh turning someone away from your till when it was busy just so that you could go on your break, you then continued to harshly turn people away, because it's better to compound a mistake than look like you discriminate against the elderly?

[GoblinLittleOwl]

Use the self-service till.

[UntilTheCowsComeHome]

Great post ImportantSpanielBusiness
Very well said.

Op YWVU, and ageist.

[MissTwister]

Everyone was rude it seems. A rude off

[TSSDNCOP]

Just how much shopping did the woman in front have?

[alltouchedout]

You don't sound that rude to me tbh.

[ohtheholidays]

YANBU at all she was out of order.

When I was younger I worked in a couple of large supermarkets and honestly if we'd got caught turning away one customer and then serving another we'd have got into a lot of trouble.

I know once a young girl got sacked because unknown to her one of the supervisors caught her doing that a few times and each time it was the same couple.It turned out they were aunt and uncle and she wasn't scanning half of they're shopping.

[sugar21]

I am working skivinonmn at the moment on a reception desk in an hotel
Now this is something to get agitated and rude about
2 young male guests have just checked in. For bravado one of them said
ere darlin ain't you the blonde I gave one too last time I was 'ere
Reply from me
No sir but I can see that you can only give me half and not one
Cue much laughter from male 2 and from male 1. This can be construed as rude but he deserved it
You see people who work with the public have to put up with all sorts and are listening to rudeness and hissy fits all the time they are working. The checkout operator puts up with much the same. She will have had her reasons to let the young couple through and I really don't think ageism is one of them

Anyway as these guests are now in the bar I expect more twattery from them later.

[Janeymoo50]

I would be more annoyed by the fact you were being served while I was still packing my bag.

[GirlOverboard]

Yeah I'm sorry OP, but it sounds like you were stroppy and rude to the checkout girl (especially the 'no and no' bit). The woman in front was completely unaffected by all this business, so for her to speak up about your rudeness is definitely saying something. Just forget about it and don't get wound up any further, everyone gets in a bad mood sometimes!