Nameless

[ciele]

My husband never, in 30 years, calls me by my name. He uses it in conversation when he talks about me but never directly.
AIBU to think this is odd?

Thinking about this... I doubt DP and I really use each others names very often at all. We're either talking directly to each other so no need to use a name. Or we're trying to get each other's attention on behalf of DD, who is still small enough for us to refer to each other as mum and dad (much as I hate that).

Mine hardly ever calls me by my proper name - I use his all the time though.

Not sure it means anything.

My DP rarely uses my name now I think of it, unless trying to get my attention from say the garden or something. I suppose it works the same way for me, I tend to call her something cute and sweet (most of the time).
She called me pilchard last night, which was a concern!!

mine calls me spud....if he uses my real name i know hes annoyed about something.....i use his name or numpty !

I think I remember reading that how often people use other people's names in general conversation is a measure of how extroverted they are

I find that quite interesting. I feel oddly uncomfortable using people's names, DP included. And I dislike people calling me by my name. I don't know why! I am an introvert.

Dh doesn't really say my name either. In fact, come to think of it, I don't think many people do; they just start talking to me. Sometimes I don't even recognise my own name because I hear it so infrequently.

If I'm talking to dh from another room or if I want to get his attention I usually just say, 'I say," which looks posh in writing but sounds more like "A seh."

My OH has me (and my kids) in his phone first name last name which I find equally odd.

I am the only person in his phone with my Christian name.

I wish mine wouldn't use my name, he's always shouting '80s where my thing', '80s what have you done with my thing' etc etc.

House would be much quieter if he came to find me...

No pet names - well never used unsarcastically. Darling would always be very sarcastic.

Me and DP call each other 'babe' usually. So much so our 23 month old shouts babe at us
We only use names if one if us is in trouble or just taking the piss
So "oi mrfatty" (he's in trouble)
He replies "what fatty?" In a jokey way in the hope I won't be mad at him anymore....never works

My DC don't even get their names half the time. I have little fatty, demon and superchunk.

hmm had to stop and think but yeah he uses an abbreviation of my name usually if its the full thing then its cos he is cross with me or we are having a row. I use his too but again rarely his full name just the slightly shorter version, mainly when we are trying to get each others attention though, if we are eating dinner or watching TV then we generally just talk out loud and wait for a response.

Like a PP has said, does he know your name? Maybe he's forgotten and made it this far he's embarrassed to ask now

I don't think we do either. Dh has s variety of names, nicknames and various shortening of his name plus his full first name, I have to adapt what I call him or refer to him as depending on the person I'm with! It gets confusing.

We use pet names at home. I only call him by his actual name in public or in company.

She called me pilchard last night, which was a concern!!

I always feel like I'm in trouble if dh uses my actual name, its akin to getting 'full named' by my DM, especially as my dgm is the only one who's ever consistently used my full name, everyone else calls me by my nn. Dh tends to call me Stinker, I call him by his last name, which winds his up no end objective achieved

We rarely use actual names, for each other or the kids tbh. It's mainly pet names/nicknames/jokey insults in our house.

Love, pet, darling, sweets, sausage, chicken, pudding, shortie, lanky streak, knob cheese, sugar tits (some of these not in the dc's hearing!).

Oops, that looks like we call the dc knob cheese etc - we don't honest , those are just what we call each other. DC have their own nicknames, usually Loopy, Toto and Boo.

DP using my real name usually means something unusual :

The cat's been sick so come and clear it up now please 'cos I'm a wuss
I'm in a panic about something and I need you here now
Where's my phone/glasses/car keys/etc etc

Otherwise he calls me daft names

I don't very much that it signifies a lack of intimacy.

My brother (who I was obviously raised with ) and who I have a close relationship with rarely uses my name. It's always 'sis' or 'our kid'. Even if I'm there involved in a conversation with him and a few other people he'll say 'sis always says' or 'my sister did this, tell everyone . ..' instead of saying 'laughing says'.

If he uses my name it's because I've done something to piss him off!.

Oh god, I'm glad weren't not the only ones. Never have done and I have absolutely no idea why. Our teens think we are weird, it is a bit weird.

Doubt not don't in my first sentence.

We rarely say each others name, just start talking. If I need him I'll just call "Can you come and help me?" Or whatever. There's only two of us in the house so obvious who I mean. When I do have cause to call him by his name it feels odd, it also feels odd when he says my name.
We are both introverts.

My parents were happily married for 52 years and I can't say I recall my dad using my mother's name nor her using his, except rarely. I certainly don't think they had a lack of intimacy as they were devoted to each other. I remember them calling each other 'honey' to get their attention and once the grandkids came along they referred to each other as 'grandma' and 'grandpa'.

Same here. We have an embarrassing nickname that we use, think, baby, honeypie, sweetcheeks type word. This started as a joke and now it's stuck. Even the children call him this name too, the little one genuinely thought it was his real name (I'm always mum/mummy to them) we write it on birthday cards etc. We only use real names if we are talking about each other to other people.

He got embarrassed at a party the other day when he called me it really loudly and people giggled.