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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To be really concerned about my in-laws dog biting my DD?

100 replies

MrsTargaeryan · 10/11/2015 09:29

Good morning,
AIBU to be really angry in retrospect (it's really festering!) at the situation that arose this last weekend? It went like this: my DP and I, with our DD (2yo), went to stay for a night with his parents. They have a young dog, a few months old. It nips at everyone, which isn't great, but I can put up with that since it's only a puppy really. What really upset me was, the morning after we stayed over, I got up and went downstairs really early with my DD. No other adults were up, but of course the dog was. When I made my DD some toast to eat, she dropped it and the dog got it. I tried to get it back from the dog, but it just kept running off so I left it. I started washing up. Then I heard snarling and crying, turned around and the dog had obviously had a go at my DD when she had tried to get her toast back - she was crying and shrinking away from the dog, as you would expect after a fright like that, and there were clear bite marks on her arms that had drawn a small amount of blood.
AIBU to be so upset? I told my MIL about it when she got up, and she was sorry, but what I'm worried about is that this is going to be a long term problem - the dog seems to think it's above my DD in the pecking order and I don't really know how to rectify that. We visit maybe 3 times a year so I have no input in how the dog is trained. This is the first time I've seen the dog, and I get the strong impression that it's a sort of child-substitute. Has anyone else had a problem like this? Any ideas on how to handle it? Phew, sorry, that was a long winded post!

OP posts:

Costacoffeeplease · 10/11/2015 13:06

'In laws dog biting dd' is quite clear in its meaning

MythicalKings · 10/11/2015 13:09

Hopefully the op and her daughter will also behave better too

Oh, please. A 2 year old? Behave better? The dog should be caged when the toddler's around. Babies matter more than dogs.

KERALA1 · 10/11/2015 13:10

Dowser that's shocking. Child in dds class just out of hospital needed plastic surgery after dog bite to the face.

Also enormous Labrador jumped me on a walk this weekend covering me with mud whilst owner stood there weakly saying "he never does that" errr he just did.

Am not a dog person needless to say.

Focusfocus · 10/11/2015 13:16

A puppy was left to be poked by an unsupervised child who got so far as to try to take his toast away.

No - it's isn't HIS toast, it's your child's toast you say? Really? That sort of reasoning with a little puppy? Or a dog?

So what should have happened? The puppy should have remembered it's not his toast, understood the moral high ground the child had in thus matter and given up the toast? Not sure that a sane expectation.

And pecking order? Not sure what knowledge you have of dogs but you're totally wrong on that count.

I say this as the mum of a baby and a one year old dog. I do not place them in pecking orders, never leave them together unsupervised and for heavens sake never forget the pooch is a dog and cannot be blamed for being one and acting like one.

Focusfocus · 10/11/2015 13:19

Thread title should be - Puppy nipped DD as she tried to take toast from him

NOT -in laws dog bit DD or whatever it currently is.

Costacoffeeplease · 10/11/2015 13:22

A 2 year old is at the perfect age to learn how to behave around dogs, she won't be 2 forever, she needs to learn just as the pup needs to be trained - unless you want 5 and 6 year olds poking and prodding dogs until they snap? Thought not

Costacoffeeplease · 10/11/2015 13:24

Also enormous Labrador jumped me on a walk this weekend covering me with mud whilst owner stood there weakly saying "he never does that" errr he just did.

And this is relevant to the thread because....?

Or are we just having a general anti-dog thread now?

OfaFrenchmind2 · 10/11/2015 13:24

Focusfocus the DD bled. The dog bit her. Let's not mince words.

Waltermittythesequel · 10/11/2015 13:27

Curious as to what people want from OP?

Should she tell you all that her dd will be put in the stocks for a few days, until she's leaned her lesson?

FFS. This place sometimes!

Costacoffeeplease · 10/11/2015 13:27

FFS - it's a pup, they have sharp teeth, which scratch - it's not a 'dog bite'

Costacoffeeplease · 10/11/2015 13:28

Should she tell you all that her dd will be put in the stocks for a few days, until she's leaned her lesson?

Who suggested that? I must have missed it?

The op is being advised why this happened, and how not to have a repeat incident - do you have a problem with that?

OliviaDunham · 10/11/2015 13:31

People want the OP to take responsibility and not blame the poor dog!

As for the comments re caging it - they are in the dogs house, why should it be locked away. All people in the OP need training and educating - not locking away.

Lostcat2 · 10/11/2015 13:40

I wouldn't cage a dog anymore them I would cage a human.

However it's utterly irresponsible to leave any animal with a small child unsupervised.

Anyone with a modicum of sense knows that.

Clearly this was the ops fault which she has admitted.

Crabbitface · 10/11/2015 13:44

Should she tell you all that her dd will be put in the stocks for a few days, until she's leaned her lesson?

Exactly this.

Ridiculous comments on here today. Think the OP might have got the message regarding turning her back, but both dogs and toddlers can be quick and even if her eyes were trained on her daughter and the dog the whole time the dog could still have bitten the child. So yes - dog training is in order. And maybe keeping them separate when grubs around.

Glad your little one is ok and it hasn't frightened her off.

Crabbitface · 10/11/2015 13:46

However it's utterly irresponsible to leave any animal with a small child unsupervised.

She didn't leave them - she was in the same room.

Costacoffeeplease · 10/11/2015 13:50

'Leave them unsupervised', not 'leave them', turning your back means they're unsupervised

spritefairy · 10/11/2015 13:54

Jeez leave the woman alone now. She has seen how it went wrong and now knows not to entirely blame the dog.

All I can suggest for future visits is to shut the dog away when food is involved

Crabbitface · 10/11/2015 14:01

Perhaps the dogs owner should have gotten out of bed. If I invited people to my home and I know I have a puppy who 'nips', I wouldn't leave it 'unsupervised' when I know there are children around.

Waltermittythesequel · 10/11/2015 14:25

People want the OP to take responsibility and not blame the poor dog!

Which is exactly what she did.

PaulAnkaTheDog · 10/11/2015 14:26

Owners are 100% not at blame. Don't even try that. I hate this 'pass the buck' attitude. They were at the in-laws, not a random b&b with a dog roaming around. They chose to go there, knowing there was a puppy, so they supervise their child.

OliviaDunham · 10/11/2015 14:27

Walter I was answering the question of what people wanted - that's the answer, I hadn't said she had or hadn't done this

Noofly · 10/11/2015 14:33

OP, I won't repeat what others have said, but please don't expect the training to happen overnight. Some dogs pick up commands very quickly. Some dogs pick up some commands very quickly and can take months to learn others. Some dogs take ages to learn commands (and resource guarding ones can take quite a while). Some dogs never learn certain commands! Training can also go forwards and then backwards as the dog matures and hits, for example, the teenage years. Just keep in mind that it is an ongoing work in progress...

OfaFrenchmind2 · 10/11/2015 14:33

I really do not understand the bile against the OP. She was more than fair and took responsibility. The thread is not: Should I take out back my IL's cur and shoot it because it mauled my child?
And accidents happen, moreover if the pup is not trained yet. In the future, when the dog is adult, it should not guard food if it has been trained properly out of it.

PaulAnkaTheDog · 10/11/2015 14:38

Bile, really?

Let's not exaggerate.

In any case, the op took the advice she was given, so as is well with the world

Toooldtobearsed · 10/11/2015 14:44

Good God, sometimes these threads get ridiculous with the pro and anti dog/toddler/MiL/sparkly crap stances taken.

OP, must have been frightening for you and for toddler. I have two dogs, from being very small puppies I trained them to leave food on command. Now I am not a brilliant dog owner/trainer, my two are little shits half the time, but I can always get them to leave food until I tell them it is okay. I am due my first GD in a few weeks time and although my two really are the softest idiots known to man, they will never be left alone with her.

It is easy to criticise when you already have some experience of dogs, but for someone just visiting it is easy to forget that the little scrap of fluff can actually inflict damage.

Anyway, lesson learnt. You keep an eagle eye out and encourage PiLs to go to training classes, or at the very least, socialise the puppy and train at home.

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