DDs teacher doesn't believe in her SN

[hotlinesling]

DD is 4. She's under assessment for ASC and has a review next month. She has a host of sensory processing issues, speech delay and complex needs regarding eating, sleeping and routines. She attends a local authority nursery school (only just 4) so has a proper teacher. I met with her teacher before she started, explaining her needs and making clear the suspected diagnosis. DDs paediatrician gave me the CAST questionnaire to complete and one for her teacher, too. Her teacher has not answered the questions, she's simply written: 'hotlineslings dd presents as a normal 4 year old.'

DD doesn't play with any other children at nursery. She doesn't talk to anyone. She won't use the toilet, have a snack or drink. She won't play outside. She will do as she's asked by teachers to avoid confrontation. She is anxious and scratches herself until she bleeds. She is withdrawn after nursery and isn't enjoying it at all. I feel like I'm doing the wrong thing by sending her if her teacher isn't supportive and DD isn't happy. I want to approach this with her teacher this week but am unsure how. Aibu to be annoyed that her teacher refused to complete the questionnaire properly?

As a health professional who used to work on a Panel that filtered (child development centre) referrals. I would imagine that if the teacher has behaved like this the nursery will get absolutely slated in a meeting. In our meetings there were often over 10 different people there. Word gets out fairly quickly. And I suspect that the SALT will have picked up the vibe. She sounds like a bloody disgrace and I am furious on your behalf. Good luck

Brioche, that's bollocks.
In many cases children mask and copy peers, so no-one at school sees the true extent of their behaviour.
Unless a child is needing much more input than their peers, it is normal for differences to go unnoticed.
No teacher knows my children better than we do at home, unfortunately ds1 is a victim of this so-called superior knowledge of children. He's 14 and we're only just addressing possible ASD having been fobbed off for 10 years!
IME teachers know very little about ASD and can only see it when it is blindingly obvious.

OP, please move her, the nursery sounds awful, there are much better settings than this who will help your dd to be happier.

I first raised the possibility of DS having ASD when he was in reception. His teacher refused to consider it.

He's year 4 now and just been diagnosed with ADHD and ASD.

And that's after his year 2 teacher totally and utterly played down his difficulties on the questionnaires and said he was like any other child.

Sometimes it's a bloody hard fight as a parent, when you know instinctively something is wrong.

I've worked in a school and unfortunately some teachers still do not believe in SEN (unless it's severe enough for the child to be in a special school)

Are you joking brioche? Seriously you need to wise up and find out about asd if that's what you believe.

Masking is common in people with asd - particularly females. It means that people can present as 'normal', but in fact, be experiencing big problems underneath.

Not all autistics sit in a corner ignoring others and banging their heads off a wall, which is what most people - including teachers - believe

It's often a hidden disorder.

Do some research.

Girls with ASD are frequently not spotted in school. It's still very much seen as a 'boy' thing, there needs to be a general raising of awareness. Even a very experienced in SEN colleague of mine wasn't aware of the differences in how they can present, she's gone off and read up about it now but mainstream teachers need to do the same.

I am not saying the teacher is qualified to make an a assessment, I didn'y say that.But she is being asked how the child presents at nursery and she has done that. is she thiks the child presents normally , then you expect her to lie?

The teacher sounds really obstructive.

Not to mention use of word "normal' which isn't ideal terminology.

Just looked up thCAST questionnaire and can't see ho the teacher's response is not a global answer to all the questions.

It's a yes/no type questionnaire. How is 'presents normally' answering yes/no questions? And that's beside the fact that what is 'normal' to one teacher might not be 'normal' to another!

Does s/he come up spontaneously for a chat?
Teacher: she's normal.

Well, some NT 4 year olds come up for a chat, some don't. So does the teacher's answer mean 'yes' or 'no'? Both are normal! It's the pattern and frequency of different behaviours that the professionals are looking for.

Would definitely move your dd asap. Our local, catchment school is outstanding, I transported dd past that and three other "good" schools to one in a very deprived area that was satisfactory at the time. Pretty sure people thought I had gone mad by not opting for the school we could have walked to because people move to get a place there.
Dd's school was brilliant for her, she has ASD too. They had lots of children with additional needs, lots of staff, lots of experience and they cared and worked their socks off for every child there.
Ironically dd now attends secondary that both our local school and dd's school feed in to. In the top groups that dd is in there is a higher percentage of children from her primary than the local one which I'd guess was because teaching isn't outstanding at the local one but tutoring outside of school is seen as the norm.

At nursery, there were no concerns about my dd. She was quiet and didn't really play with other children but because she is very intelligent and also kind natured she seemed to get on okay. Academically there were no problems. She was just a bit weird as am I .

It wasn't until she hit 9 that the gap in her social skills began to emerge (as social interactions became more complex). As a teen, she really struggled with everything and became anxious and withdrawn.

At 18 she got a diagnosis of Aspergers.

Brioche, the teacher has miles less experience and knowledge of how and when to assess children for possible ASD than the paediatrician. Therefore she should simply be professional and fill in the questionnaire.

"This makes me so unutterably sad. We have to change this. It is intolerable"

Things are much better nowadays (that happened in the 70s), but she has certainly has got to learn more about autism the hard way.

My son has a diagnosis of autism, he had a lot of input from loads of different professionals some good some bad.
I knew there was something not right from when he was a baby just a instinct.
We ended up having sessions when he was 18 month's old as I was made to believe that he was the way he was because I had a baby when he was 12 months (bullshit).
In the end I just left it as I felt like I was to blame.
He ended up in nursery and a brilliant teacher after two mornings asked to speak to me.
This teacher had worked previously in a school for children with additional needs.
This teacher told me she believed my child to be on the spectrum.
I remember that day very clearly all the guilt of blaming my self for his behaviour melted away.
It was still a battle, we had one certain professional who said xxxxx couldn't possibly have autism because he hugged his dad, and it was his obsession with a children's tv programme that is to blame.
It nearly broke up my marriage,made me depressed and lost years of vital help for my child.
But also I do see the flip side and know people (very well) that are trying for a diagnosis because apparently their child likes to be first, or don't like wearing socks, or just being a 'normal' child and that's does make asd a mockery.

If your not getting the support your dd needs then I would serously pull her out, find somewhere else.
Even if your dd does get a dx of ASD this teacher does not for some reason believe or doesn't have a clue so not really the best place.

As well as dd being on the spectrum, ds, her twin, is also autistic but he is severely affected.

When he was 4 (he is nearly 21 now and completely non-verbal) the paediatrician grudgingly gave us a diagnosis of 'mild autism'. She didn't believe there was any such thing as autism.

I've since had many, many professionals involved with ds and all of them have concluded that ds is one of the most complex and severe cases they have ever dealt with.

It is a hard slog getting people to listen to you.

Oh gosh, I feel you're pain OP. We're just starting our battle. DD is 5 and is diagnosed with ASD. School utterly refuse to accept the diagnosis and are point blank refusing to help her. She's falling apart, and so am I. All because she's left to fend for herself at school.

Move her is the only advice I can give you I'm afraid, my DD will be moving schools as soon as a place becomes available in the school I want her to go to.

Thank you for all your replies. I am going to go armed with a list of how girls present differently and explain a typical day at home. If her teacher is still obstructive, I will approach the Head for the support she initially promised. DD comes out really hungry, thirsty and desperate for the toilet but won't eat or drink there because she won't touch food, is worried about getting wet and the smell of the toilet makes her gag/sick. How she would manage with a full day at school without acknowledgement that she needs support, I don't know.