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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flatmate is driving me batshit crazy.

56 replies

itsthecircleoflife · 08/11/2015 22:43

Shes lived here 3 months. Shes a lovely girl, and we do have a laugh- shes just doing things that are getting on my last wick (and in one instance, my neighbours)

Despite me telling her countless times not to, she smokes indoors with no windows or doors open. And she smokes a really stinky brand that smells partically horrible. We agreed that she could smoke at the front door, as long as it was open. Or in the lounge if the french windows are left open. She leaves cigarette ends everywhere- in undrunken mugs of tea, in bowls shes eaten out of and despite me asking her to put them in the outside bin (which is right next to the front door and a 10 second walk from her room and the lounge/kitchen) she throws them in the kitchen bin so im met with the stench everytime I open the bin. Apparantly im a hypocrite because I smoke my odorless and mess free electronic indoors. Right Hmm

She constantly borrows things without asking. She doesnt see a problem with going into my room and going through my drawers to find something when im not there. I dont have a gun hidden in there, but I dont want her rooting through my vibrators personal belongings. Shes borrowed clothes and ruined them, and then refused to replace them- the latest being a pair of £90 jeans I hadnt even worn myself. I did lend her things in the past, but that was when I believed she would treat them with a bit of respect and when she wasnt taking them of her own accord. She just doesnt see the problem, and im seriously considering on finding a way to lock my door.

Shes the messiest person ON THE PLANET. When she has been off, ill come home to dishes everywhere, towels on the bathrolm floor and general debris everywhere. And then she kicks off if I throw it into her bedroom. She does fuck all. Shes had the same bedsheets on for weeks, and they were only changed when her Mum came over one day. Oh, and she takes her washing home every fortnight. Confused

We agreed when she moved in she would pay £15 a month into a household kitty for joint household essentials- kitchen roll etc. She paid it the first month, and has since refused but funnily enough will still happily enough wipe her arse on my toilet roll. She doesnt eat properly- ready meals, pot noodles or sandwiches.She isnt lazy, she is really bright and has a good job. She would just rather spend her time smoking, doing her nails/hair and thinks theres better things to be doing with her time then housework and cooking. I appreciate im probably a bitnmore house proud than her as its my flat, but shes taking the piss a bit.

We have a parking space outside our front door that belongs to the flat upstairs. The rest of the parking is at the back of the building. Neighbour upstairs doesnt have a car, but her boyfriend stays Friday-Monday, so has told us we are welcome to use it during the week but otherwise her boyfriend will be using it. Flatmate has decided its her parking space. It wouldnt be too much of a big deal, but theres no free parking in the residents parking, some people already have to leave their cars on the street outside. Neighbour is understandbly pissed off because its the space allocated to her property

AIBU to be getting really narked? Im seriously considering of finding a way to get her out!

OP posts:
MrsCorbyn · 09/11/2015 14:46

Oh OP. I have one of these, I started a thread a while back but in chat so gone now.

My greatest sympathy. I'm now moving out to escape mine. Definitely kick her out.

RattieOfCatan · 09/11/2015 14:55

If she is your lodger, kick her out FFS! I'm a lodger and I'd never dream of behaving like that!

DontMindMe1 · 09/11/2015 23:00

mrscorbyn

your thread is still in AIBU....we'd love an update Grin

LaContessaDiPlump · 09/11/2015 23:03

Yes mrscorbyn, I remember you and Skanky Flatmate! Update please Grin

Jux · 09/11/2015 23:40

MrsCorbyn, I remember your thread too! Please update Grin

zipzap · 10/11/2015 00:08

What would happen if you reported her to the police for stealing your property?

Another vote for getting rid of her asap. I'd also get a lock for your bedroom door - you can get security key ones that you can put in quite high quite easily - dh did it on his study when ds1 was little and kept running in and interrupting him. Still handy now to have a room at home that we can lock separately if we need to!

And I'd also get one of those screechy alarms that goes off if it detects any movement - so that you would know if she has been in your room. Or set it up with a bag of flour and/or water to cover her if she comes in when you're not there...

Definitely make a list of everything she owes you - like money for the kitty that she hasn't put in and yet still used stuff, as well as the brand new jeans she ruined and other stuff she has ruined or taken, (and the cost of getting the smell of smoke out of the place if necessary). Give it to her and tell her that you expect her to pay up or you'll ask her mother to pay up instead. Or go to the small claims court. Could you deduct everything she owes you in the time order that she owed it to you so that say she gave you £500 a month for rent, and the first month gave you the £15, but then the next month didn't and ruined your £90 trousers, so the second month you say you've received £395 rent plus costs agreed. Then the third month say you've taken £105 for what was owing the previous month, plus £15 for the kitty, so you've received £380 rent and you're still owed £120 rent? I've no idea if it's legal to do this to a lodger - just thinking it might be easier to claim rent back from her than miscellaneous expenses!

Good luck...

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