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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flatmate is driving me batshit crazy.

56 replies

itsthecircleoflife · 08/11/2015 22:43

Shes lived here 3 months. Shes a lovely girl, and we do have a laugh- shes just doing things that are getting on my last wick (and in one instance, my neighbours)

Despite me telling her countless times not to, she smokes indoors with no windows or doors open. And she smokes a really stinky brand that smells partically horrible. We agreed that she could smoke at the front door, as long as it was open. Or in the lounge if the french windows are left open. She leaves cigarette ends everywhere- in undrunken mugs of tea, in bowls shes eaten out of and despite me asking her to put them in the outside bin (which is right next to the front door and a 10 second walk from her room and the lounge/kitchen) she throws them in the kitchen bin so im met with the stench everytime I open the bin. Apparantly im a hypocrite because I smoke my odorless and mess free electronic indoors. Right Hmm

She constantly borrows things without asking. She doesnt see a problem with going into my room and going through my drawers to find something when im not there. I dont have a gun hidden in there, but I dont want her rooting through my vibrators personal belongings. Shes borrowed clothes and ruined them, and then refused to replace them- the latest being a pair of £90 jeans I hadnt even worn myself. I did lend her things in the past, but that was when I believed she would treat them with a bit of respect and when she wasnt taking them of her own accord. She just doesnt see the problem, and im seriously considering on finding a way to lock my door.

Shes the messiest person ON THE PLANET. When she has been off, ill come home to dishes everywhere, towels on the bathrolm floor and general debris everywhere. And then she kicks off if I throw it into her bedroom. She does fuck all. Shes had the same bedsheets on for weeks, and they were only changed when her Mum came over one day. Oh, and she takes her washing home every fortnight. Confused

We agreed when she moved in she would pay £15 a month into a household kitty for joint household essentials- kitchen roll etc. She paid it the first month, and has since refused but funnily enough will still happily enough wipe her arse on my toilet roll. She doesnt eat properly- ready meals, pot noodles or sandwiches.She isnt lazy, she is really bright and has a good job. She would just rather spend her time smoking, doing her nails/hair and thinks theres better things to be doing with her time then housework and cooking. I appreciate im probably a bitnmore house proud than her as its my flat, but shes taking the piss a bit.

We have a parking space outside our front door that belongs to the flat upstairs. The rest of the parking is at the back of the building. Neighbour upstairs doesnt have a car, but her boyfriend stays Friday-Monday, so has told us we are welcome to use it during the week but otherwise her boyfriend will be using it. Flatmate has decided its her parking space. It wouldnt be too much of a big deal, but theres no free parking in the residents parking, some people already have to leave their cars on the street outside. Neighbour is understandbly pissed off because its the space allocated to her property

AIBU to be getting really narked? Im seriously considering of finding a way to get her out!

OP posts:
ConsciousPilot · 09/11/2015 00:49

YABU to make us read that massive OP when you could have just said 'My flatmate is a spoiled and selfish child. AIBU to actually kill her?'

Faye12345 · 09/11/2015 00:54

Give her the notice! Ive lived with some odd people and it will only get worse! One read my payslip and announced what i earn to people! She was asked to leave and given notice the next day

amazingtracy · 09/11/2015 01:44
Hmm
Mmmmcake123 · 09/11/2015 02:27

She sounds like she is very manipulative if you really think she is ok

Mmmmcake123 · 09/11/2015 02:28

Has she got you on an emotional hold?

PlummyBrummy · 09/11/2015 06:46

Is this a joke and she's actually a teenager still living with her mum?

stopfaffing · 09/11/2015 06:53

You sound like her mum and she sounds like a selfish teen. Luckily, you are not her mum so can give her notice. Do it now!

AngelSparks · 09/11/2015 06:59

Well she sounds likes an absolute joy to live with!

(But.... the car parking space, if it's been offered during the week to her, then why can't she use it? It sounds like she's using it all the time but it's not clear on your op)

Why haven't you kicked her out?

catfordbetty · 09/11/2015 08:48

Shes a lovely girl

I'm not getting this. She sounds absolutely dreadful.

KatharinaRosalie · 09/11/2015 08:58

why do you need to 'find a way'? It's your flat as you say, give her notice. She sounds selfish, lazy, inconsiderate and generally vile

WhereYouLeftIt · 09/11/2015 09:15

I don't understand why you haven't thrown her out long since Confused. Soooo many reasons to do so!

Nanny0gg · 09/11/2015 09:18

How is she 'lovely'?

AnonymousBird · 09/11/2015 09:25

Boot, bottom, now!

OnlyLovers · 09/11/2015 09:27

The smoking and the going through my stuff would be enough for me on their own.

Kick her out (assuming she's a lodger and you're not in a joint tenancy agreement).

If she paid a deposit, keep it and then some to repay yourself for the jeans and all the bog roll etc.

eddielizzard · 09/11/2015 09:28

bloody hell get rid!

Stormtreader · 09/11/2015 09:36

She thinks you're her mum, time to get rid.

amarmai · 09/11/2015 10:16

She's making a fool of you,op and prob laughing behind your back to her friends. She does not respect you , but you can show self respect by getting rid of. I'd get that lock as she may well take some of your stuff when she leaves. Does she come from a rich background? She sounds like she thinks she is superior to you .Altho very similar behaviour can come from the opposite ends of the money spectrum in my experience. She's enjoying winding you up and has prob placed bets on how long before you send her packing. Be prepared for spiteful gratuitously nasty words and behaviour once you do woman up and do what you know you have to do.

Bananalanacake · 09/11/2015 10:46

Put something nasty in your drawers so she gets a shock next time she goes through them, is she scared of spiders/mice? - get a big plastic spider, mouse, plastic severed hand from a joke shop, fake turd. No normal person acts like this, I only read about these types on MN I've never come across anyone like this, hope that's a good thing.

OTheHugeManatee · 09/11/2015 10:57

Why have you put up with this so long if it's your flat? Confused

coconutpie · 09/11/2015 12:15

What in the world? One of those reasons on their own is enough to kick her out but all of them together? What the hell? Why are you putting up with this nonsense? She's not "lovely" - she sounds bloody awful!!

lardyscouse · 09/11/2015 13:20

Smoking and mess is one thing. STEALING is quite different. Ask her to leave.

DonkeysDontRideBicycles · 09/11/2015 13:29

Shes a lovely girl- no she's not! Time to give her notice. She will no doubt ramp up the bad behaviour but you will be rid of her.

redexpat · 09/11/2015 13:34

If you are her LL then i would keep 90 of the deposit to replace your jeans, and take the 15 kitty money too. Im not sure how legal that is though.

RoboticSealpup · 09/11/2015 14:32

She's not a "lovely girl". She's a selfish user who treats you like a mug. Grow a backbone, woman!

whois · 09/11/2015 14:35

This has to be a joke. No one would put up with such bullshit behaviour unless it was their own daughter or something loving with them.

Just give her notice. What's the issue? She isn't a lovely person.

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