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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Comment from consultant

45 replies

Cloudyout · 08/11/2015 15:17

Name changed for this.

It was nearly 20 years ago but it still plays on my mind quite a bit. I had had an ovarian cyst removed and there were follow up appointments. I guess there were about 3 follow up appointments. The consultant would ask me if I had had any discharge from my nipples at all, and I would say no. On each occasion he would ask me if I was sure I hadn't had any discharge (I was) and then he'd ask me to remove the top half of my clothing (behind a curtain) and pop up on the couch for an examination.

The last time (because I didn't want to go back again) he was again doing a breast exam and kneading away, and he made the comment, which is word for word clear in my memory "oh wow, I can't believe this is my job".

At the time I felt pretty uncomfortable but then it was maybe a throwaway comment. Perhaps he liked doing breast exams, but I'd just rather he hadn't shared that with me. What do you think? I never went back and never complained - I guess I wondered if I was being a bit prissy - it wasn't like it was a threat or a specific comment.

I have had breast exams since and it has been totally different and all explained. But was it perhaps more acceptable to make comments like that 20 years ago?

OP posts:

CuntryLiving · 08/11/2015 15:30

It wasn't more acceptable, just easier to get away with. Sorry this happened to you, that's horrible. I really hope he isn't still practising somewhere.

StepAwayFromTheEcclesCakes · 08/11/2015 15:44

as above, I saw a doctor for a routine medical when I started a job aged 18, he insisted on a breast exam and being young and naive I went along with it, only after did I realise he was a fucking out of order perv.

Booyaka · 08/11/2015 15:46

Report. Yuck.

Oldraver · 08/11/2015 15:47

Yep I had a doctor insist on a breat exam when I was about 19 and he said "Oh you have such soft breasts". I felt uncomfortable at the time,

Oldraver · 08/11/2015 15:48

Sorry posted too soone

its oen of those occasions what its not what they say its how they say it

PuntasticUsername · 08/11/2015 15:49

Oh, that's horrible. Please report him. It's not too late - he may still be practising, and doing this to other women.

StepAwayFromTheEcclesCakes · 08/11/2015 15:52

oldraver mine said 'ah you are such a well covered young lady' I was voluptuous and gorgeous at that age. I do get a bit when I look back and realise how out of order it was. just did not know any better then or have the assertiveness to deal with it if I had. so glad todays women are brought up with the clear messages they have about appropriate / inappropriate touching.

LunchpackOfNotreDame · 08/11/2015 15:53

Gross.

I had a breast consultant say he loves his job to me but not because of my breasts - he and the nurse said it as soon as I walked in the room - but because when he had last seen me I was horrifically unwell and hooked up to all sorts of drips and this was a follow up appointment where I pretty much bounced in and looked the picture of health. Both clinicians couldn't stop smiling at my recovery (bilateral breast abscesses that developed into cellulitis and on the verge of sepsis, I was very ill and on a lot of antibiotics).

Therein lays the difference between the two doctors. Mine was pleased to see his patient recovered, yours was just a dirty old pervert!

Report report report!

cornflowers · 08/11/2015 15:53

I have had a similar experience too, but never reported it.

whataboutbob · 08/11/2015 16:03

I have a slowly growing ovarian cyst which is scanned every year. no one has ever asked to look at my breasts because of it!

MerdeAlor · 08/11/2015 16:09

You could see if he is still registered and practicing as a doctor OP.

If he is would you wish to report him? You'd be well within your rights.

Abhorrant behaviour from him.

Onedirectionarestillloved · 08/11/2015 16:09

I had a similar experience too as a young woman.
It left me feeling very uncomfortable.

MovingOnUpMovingOnOut · 08/11/2015 16:10

Was there no chaperone for all of these assaults exams?

MerdeAlor · 08/11/2015 16:11

We shouldn't be saying that routine breast exams aren't normal or necessary though. My gynae picked up a lump in my breast last month after a routine check.

IrritableBitchSyndrome · 08/11/2015 16:12

Wasn't there a blog/book by a junior dr a few years back that referred to the 'fun' of TUBES? (totally unneccessary breast exams).

Jhm9rhs · 08/11/2015 16:14

Yes, very inappropriate. I think we accept things when we're young and inexperienced that we'd kick up an almighty fuss about years later. At 23, I had a similar experience in the US with an 'extra' vaginal exam (I don't even think the first one was warranted), because the doctor 'forgot' to check something (I had no idea at the time how ridiculous that was). Cue an exam after the nurse had left, very protracted, lots of comments about my appearance. I just let it slide. Now, I'd be screaming from the rooftops.

cleaty · 08/11/2015 16:21

I was given an internal and a breast exam at 16 when I went to ask about birth control. Totally unnecessary. But I didn't know that at the time and just assumed that was routine and that my discomfort was prudishness.

Original poster

Cloudyout · 08/11/2015 16:35

My mum was in the waiting room I think. I was old enough to go in alone. Glad I'm not being paranoid. He is still practising. I looked him up.

OP posts:

PollyPerky · 08/11/2015 16:36

Just to add that I had an ovarian cyst scanned every 4 months for TWO years and my breasts were never mentioned, let alone kneaded.

Sorry OP but this was abuse and professional misconduct. Have you googled to see if he is still practicing? Report him via the GMC.

KittyandTeal · 08/11/2015 16:39

Just to give you the flip side; I very recently saw a consultant gyne. Part of the appointment involved an internal. All was explained and a nurse was with me for the whole thing. I was never alone with him.

That is how intimate examinations should be done.

LetThereBeCupcakes · 08/11/2015 16:40

I think the fact that it still plays on your mind 20 years later says it all.

Do you know what you want to do? Is there somebody you could talk it through with?

TheGreenNinja · 08/11/2015 16:41

I'm a bit shocked by how many of you have had spurious breast exams at the doctor, I've never had a single one and I'm well in my 40s. Is it really routine? I've changed doctors several times with house moves, had a mix of male and female and it's NEVER even been mentioned.

PollyPerky · 08/11/2015 16:46

As with Kitty I have fairly regular gynae appts and he does my smears etc, and the moment the words have left his mouth he picks up the phone and asks for a nurse to come in who stays until I am off the couch. We usually talk about the weather, holidays or such like while he's having a fumble.

PollyPerky · 08/11/2015 16:49

Green me too. I'd never consent to an impromptu breast exam. The only time I've had one was with a female dr when I went to her with a suspected lump- which wasn't. I am very old now, had loads of gynae stuff go on but never had had a request to show my breasts or have them 'checked' - that's what mammograms are for when you are older.

Original poster

Cloudyout · 08/11/2015 16:55

Perhaps the actual examination was fine - he kept going on about whether or not there was discharge or if my nipples were hairy so I guess it was about hormone imbalances. It was a private practice. The examination didn't feel like an assault - but it did feel different from when my GP checked out a lump a few years ago. He was doing a lot of prodding and pulling at my nipples. Sorry, too much information. But it was the comment rather than the exam that bothered me. I don't have any medical training so I don't know if he needed to do a breast exam each time.

OP posts:

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