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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Comment from consultant

45 replies

Cloudyout · 08/11/2015 15:17

Name changed for this.

It was nearly 20 years ago but it still plays on my mind quite a bit. I had had an ovarian cyst removed and there were follow up appointments. I guess there were about 3 follow up appointments. The consultant would ask me if I had had any discharge from my nipples at all, and I would say no. On each occasion he would ask me if I was sure I hadn't had any discharge (I was) and then he'd ask me to remove the top half of my clothing (behind a curtain) and pop up on the couch for an examination.

The last time (because I didn't want to go back again) he was again doing a breast exam and kneading away, and he made the comment, which is word for word clear in my memory "oh wow, I can't believe this is my job".

At the time I felt pretty uncomfortable but then it was maybe a throwaway comment. Perhaps he liked doing breast exams, but I'd just rather he hadn't shared that with me. What do you think? I never went back and never complained - I guess I wondered if I was being a bit prissy - it wasn't like it was a threat or a specific comment.

I have had breast exams since and it has been totally different and all explained. But was it perhaps more acceptable to make comments like that 20 years ago?

OP posts:

KittyandTeal · 08/11/2015 17:00

Actually, just thinking. I went to the gp a few years ago with mastitis. Obviously he had to check my breasts (although he did say he would give me antibiotics without but I said I'd rather he checked that's what it was)

He offered someone to come in and watch (female I guess) to watch and check he was doing a normal exam. I did turn him down as I felt comfortable with what he should be doing and felt I could say no if it felt odd. It was fine.

That is routinely offered with male docs doing intimate exams

PollyPerky · 08/11/2015 17:01

Ovarian cysts do not result in discharge from nipples. As it happens I did have a discharge from my nipples when I was about 30, and was sent to a very large teaching hospital to be prodded etc but no one ever suggested it could be my ovaries.

Likewise I had a cyst for 2 years and no one wanted to look at my breasts.

You were conned, my girl.

The way to do a breast exam is for the dr to use the flat, palm of their hand and work round your breast from outside under the armpit to the nipple- or the other way round. There is no prodding pulling or tugging.

You need to report him. Being at a private practice makes no difference.

MerdeAlor · 08/11/2015 17:07

They were assaults Moving if there was sexual intent.

cleaty · 08/11/2015 17:16

I had smears in my early 20's. It wasn't until my mid 20's that I was ever offered a chaperone when a male Dr did an intimate exam.

StarlingMurmuration · 08/11/2015 17:22

I very recently had a female consultant tell me I "have lovely breasts, a delight to examine", after an exam to check a lump I'd found. I was a bit , I must admit.

catseverywhere · 08/11/2015 17:31

Like cleaty I had breast and internal exams when I went to the university doctor to ask about contraception when I was 18, so 30 years ago. With the benefit now of many years' experience of how exams of that type are carried out, I am fairly confident that not only were they probably not strictly necessary, but the way the doctor did them was dodgy as fuck.

After sending the nurse out of the room for something or other, he said he needed to do a breast exam and told me to take my top off but not my bra. He then stood behind me, unhooked my bra and put both his hands round me and onto my boobs at the same time, sort of squeezing them and feeling my nipples. He said checking both boobs together like that would save time.

He then said he needed to do an internal and told me to lift up my skirt, take one leg out of my pants and tights and lie on the bed, before doing what he had to do - again, he said not undressing completely would save time. By the time the nurse was back in the room I was dressed again and the exams were not referred to. I sometimes wonder how many other students he did similar to :(

ToadsforJustice · 08/11/2015 17:43

The introduction of the cervical cytology recall database in the 1980s and the bonus payments for getting as many women as possible screened, gave many doctors a golden opportunity to link a smear test/internal/breast exam to providing the Pill as contraception.

As we now know, a simple blood pressure and weight check is recommended before the Pill can be dispensed.

I expect many older women on this site will remember contraception being held hostage until you had an internal exam

When I was at University (many years ago), there was a creepy old male doctor that would insist on an internal and a breast exam for every consult. He didnt use gloves. Many young women went along with it. Interestingly, if you were overweight (in his eyes) you were left alone.

Please complain OP.

Original poster

Cloudyout · 08/11/2015 18:01

I just looked him up on the GMC website: he is no longer registered. It said he qualified in 1976 so I guess he has now retired or maybe he's dead.

OP posts:

MerdeAlor · 08/11/2015 18:03

I'm horrified and fucking fuming that so many women have been through this.
It seems to not be an unusual experience.

MostIneptThatEverStepped · 08/11/2015 18:13

I had a breast exam as part of a medical for a new job that I started when I lived in the US in my early twenties. I did wonder at the time how necessary it was but was much too meek and awkward to actually question it. Now I can see it differently.
Now that I'm thinking about it, another time in the US I went to a walk in emergency clinic because I had a weird shingles-like rash on my abdomen, just below my breasts. The doctor I saw was very young, was really concerned that I take my bra off to check if it had spread to my breasts and disappeared for a while looking for a colleague that he wanted to show my rash to. Hmm.

CupofBoo · 08/11/2015 18:23

When I went to a doctor about my bulimia when I was 20 he told me I had a "nice figure". Still stays with me. And he wouldn't help me.

PollyPerky · 08/11/2015 18:34

If he qualified in 1976 that was the same year I completed uni but doctors training is longer so he'd be older than me by a few years. So hopefully not dead but not working perhaps.
I am sure you can still file a complaint- enough in the media about people who are retired but still being accused of abuse.

cleaty · 08/11/2015 18:36

I had a smear as a student that was very painful and traumatic. I don't know exactly what he did, but a smear has never felt like that before or since. I was really traumatised by it, but didn't say anything as I couldn't explain what was wrong.

stoppingbywoods · 08/11/2015 18:38

When I was 23, I asked the (ageing, male) GP to check a mole on my chest, just beneath the bra line. For some reason, he found it necessary to 'check' my breasts which involved sitting in front of him, starkers from the waist up. I wasn't given the option to decline or have a nurser present. Nothing remotely like that has ever happened or been suggested again. I don't think GPs should be allowed to behave like that.

stoppingbywoods · 08/11/2015 18:41

You know what though, doctors are absolutely untouchable and the GMC complaints department is a joke. They won't take any action at all unless the accusation is very serious and can be confirmed by someone other than the patient (and it can't be anyone on the patient's side). I've had a good read through their examination reports and it's shocking.

cleaty · 08/11/2015 18:42

And some on MN call women unreasonable who will only have intimate exams done by female Drs. This thread is the reason why.

catseverywhere · 08/11/2015 20:39

I wonder whether Toads and I went to the same university?

ConsciousPilot · 08/11/2015 20:47

I was assaulted by my doctor in my twenties when he was measuring me internally for a Dutch cap. He used lube from a dispenser on the wall but concentrated his efforts around my clitoral area as opposed to applying the stuff for ease of entry. He then proceeded (whilst fingers were inside me) to tell me I had a 'lovely ledge' and that my womb was a perfectly-sized tangerine.

My sister years later told me he had done something similar and when I told her my story she reported him. A whole raft of women then came forward with stories of assault.

daisychain01 · 08/11/2015 21:55

I take my DP along with me to any appointments as my chaperone. I feel justified now!

So sorry you had to put up with that, and that you can still remember it after 2 decades x

Onedirectionarestillloved · 08/11/2015 22:11

I can't even remember what I went to the doctors for.
I know it had nothing to do with my breaststroke and was probably for contraception, which was still handed out at the doctors request and I was always asked if I was married- wtf.
I did feel very, very uncomfortable when he told me to take all my clothes off and lie on the bed.
He then 'examined' my naked body.

There seems to be a pattern of this happening years ago when perhaps doctors were not held accountable to anyone.
Just look at what shipman got away with.

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