AIBU to think that this is downright nasty and uncalled for, and says more about him than me!

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I am a long time lurker needing to get this off my chest!

I started a new job last Monday at a really fab company. I am enjoying it, although it is very intensive and there is a huge mount to remember and get done within the day/week, but I love to be kept busy so am really like the job. The person I am taking over from is moving to a different department in a few weeks and is training me in this role.

On Friday the person training me (I will call her Abby) was in a meeting and had left me some work to do. I was in outlook reading an email response to one I had sent earlier and the in company message service popped up (I think it's called link, or something like that). There was a new message from another colleague of ours (who is sat right in front of me/us). I saw the message wasn't for me so went to minimise the pop up (why he messaged her when he knew Abby was in a meeting and could see I was at her computer, I do t know) before I clicked the button to minimise it I noticed that there were a few previous conversation 'threads' and in the last one my name (full name) was mentioned so I read it. Wrong I know but I was curious.

The things he had put there and said about me were awful, he started by saying 'I hate her', Abby replies 'who' he then replies with my full bloody name it goes on for a while like this, him saying that he thinks I'm boring and that my house smells (WTF!). Abby neither agrees nor disagrees with him and doesn't actually say anything nasty but doesn't challenge his attitude.

This message was sent on Wednesday of last week.
I was pretty upset when I read it, he doesn't know me, it was my first week in a new job, a new role for me, learning a lot of new things, meeting new people and on top of it all I have had a stinking cold since last weekend. So maybe I didn't make a very good first impression with him and maybe even Abby, but AIBU to think it's pretty nasty and uncalled for. We all make snap judgments but to act on it like this before he really even knows me at all says more about him being a pretty horrible person.

Angel I had a gov't job with a federal agency that has offices across the country. If you have a 'hardship' (family issues, relative needing care, military spouse station transfer, escaping domestic abuse, etc) you are given priority for any job openings in the area you need to relocate to and sometimes (usually domestic abuse cases) they'll actually create a job for you. In my case, my DH had taken a job 200 miles away as our local economy had tanked. After he had been commuting for almost 3 years (only home weekends) with no suitable jobs in his field having opened up in our area, I was given a hardship transfer to where he was working based on family unification need. A job opened up and I was given the position on a hardship, which takes absolute priority in candidate selection.

I wouldn't complain as it will be awkward as hell working there. He'll probably be fine once you settle in. Keep the evidence just in case though. Good luck with the new job btw!

If he's only known you for a week, you can bet that it's certainly impersonal vitriol coming at the easiest target. He doesn't know you long enough to have anything against you. Just accept that he's a miserable cunt and move on.

And keep any corespondents with him strictly to emails. After meetings send a follow up email of what you discussed. You know his true colors, so just keep your own ass covered in case he tries to stab you in the back.

Nasty bitch of a man who is dumb enough to put his nasty bitchiness in writing. Bide your time and watch. He is probably like this to everyone and about everyone in rotation. I had something similar in this job. After 3 months, nasty bitch man sidled up to me with a nasty comment about someone else new. My reaction was " you said something remarkably similar about me just a few months ago, you are making yourself look nasty and people are judging you, not your victim". Was fun actually but that comes from a knocking on 50 year old with 30 years of working in offices behind her. It's so him and not you. Chin up x

Thank you guys. This has really helped me get it all straight in my own head. I'm not going to say anything but am going to be extra wary of him. As a lot of you have pointed out, at least I now have a heads ups about him.

Professional, light and breezy will be the order of today. I should have my own desk, computer etc from today/tomorrow so if there are any more messages between them both I won't be privy to them so I will be able to just forget and get on with my new job.

Aww. Meanie. I bet he's one of those 'angry at the world' types too. I don't know why your manager doesn't tell him it's not appropriate.

It seems a weird thing to say! Are you showering every morning putting on fresh clothes?

I shower or bath every day. I train 5 times a week and the days I train I will obviously have another shower at the gym. I wear clean clothes/underwear everyday and use deodorant.
I don't smell!

Print it out and put it on your manager's desk for them to find.

Maybe print it twice and keep a copy for yourself too. File it away in the office somewhere that nobody will accidentally come across it, just in case you need ammunition in the future.

By the way, you are replacing someone... why is she leaving???

dodobook Abby is moving to another department, so not leaving the company but moving to a different part of the company, still in the same office though.

I bet he went for the job and was turned down. It just seems like jealously to me. Ignore him and his crappy attitude.

Next time you pass him say "just for your information, my house doesn't smell." Then walk off. Leave him sweating and don't bother about it anymore unless something else happens. He's clearly a child.

Unfortunately OP, there are idiots such as this in every workplace.
I am sure everyone knows that he is an ass, including Abby.
Don't waste any more head space on this vile creature. As others have said, at least you know what he is like.
However, I would start keeping a record of any inappropriate behaviour just in case things escalate.
Enjoy your job OP , don't allow Satan's spawn to ruin it for you.

I am really enjoying the job and other than this incident everything and everyone has been lovely. I
The atmosphere in the office is very chilled out and friendly. If I'm honest I get no bad vibes from him at all, if not for seeing the messages it wouldn't have crossed my mind that he thinks these things about me. However I am keeping my distance and being wary of him.

If I'm honest I get no bad vibes from him at all

I would say it was an "in joke" between them then, OP.