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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Argument with DH about watching TV and asking questions...?!

74 replies

Pooshy · 07/11/2015 20:59

We've been getting into a boxset, which is a treat as we have a baby and don't get out much so it's something fun we can do together

Tonight he suddenly got very irritated that I ask him questions about the storyline when I'm not following it/paying attention properly. But it's quite a hard story to follow! I admit I am a bit ditsy when it comes to this but that's how I am and if it means he has to help me with it sometimes so we can enjoy it together, whats the big deal?! I would do it for him and do loads of nice things for him every day!

AIBU?! We're not sitting in separate rooms and Ive been in tears...

OP posts:

trollkonor · 08/11/2015 09:15

The Double?

MetalPetal86 · 08/11/2015 09:16

I can't believe how many pepole get so annoyed by this with their supposedly loving partners. I find a lot of these box sets hard to follow and often have to ask my h to pause and give me a summary. Granted, he sometimes gets a little mock cross (I think it's mock anyway...) but would know not to get too upset over it. It's only the telly op - no reason to be in tears over that. I'm sure that there are more important things to be in tears about!

Sunnyminimalist2 · 08/11/2015 09:19

Why aren't you paying attention? If it's for a good reason, that would effect my response.

MrsJayy · 08/11/2015 09:20

Op he was probably trying to concentrate he should not have snapped at you though its a telly programme supposed to be enjoyable not cause an arguement . We do this to each other so we are equally annoying we are watching series 4 of scandal and we cant remember half of what happened last series so we are always asking questions.

NuggetofPurestGreen · 08/11/2015 09:30

OT but Re the Departed, I know loads of people that had this problem. But the actors are really famous? And don't really look alike...

OP as everyone else has said it depends on whether you're paying attention or not really. And one question an episode isn't too bad.

Ememem84 · 08/11/2015 09:37

This drives me crazy. Dh refuses to watch certain shows with me (the following, criminal minds, the bridge...) but interrupts when I'm watching. Always either wants to know what's going on.

Or. Which in my opinion in worse, starts watching videos on his phone/trying to chat about something else/makes hideous amounts of noise so I have to pause to until it's finished.

Savagebeauty · 08/11/2015 09:41

I would ignore any questions and say "I'll answer them at the end".
Hate people talking through programmes

MrsJayy · 08/11/2015 09:42

Although we are watching River on bbc1 which is really intense and dh is faffing about on his ipad then asks what did they say .. that drives me nuts

NameChange30 · 08/11/2015 09:45

Did no-one read this bit?

"I always ask him to pause first, I prob only ask one question per episode!"

Some people seem to be assuming that the OP is constantly talking and asking questions. One or two questions per episode is hardly constant. Maybe it's a bit annoying but couples that are supposed to love each other need to have a bit of tolerance and patience. As long as the OP is actually paying attention and not on her phone or whatever, she's not doing it on purpose is she?!

Sometimes DH asks questions (English isn't his first language and although his Engkish is excellent he does occasionally have questions) and it doesn't kill me to pause it and explain for half a minute!

What's the point of watching something together if you can't interact at all?

Also, some people said the OP overreacted because she's crying. Well maybe her husband got so annoyed that it caused a massive argument which made her understandably upset? Maybe he often gets annoyed and flips at her, and OP is upset about the general pattern and not just this one incident?

I know AIBU is a tough crowd, but I still find it surprising how harsh some people can be.

SoupDragon · 08/11/2015 09:51

Did no-one read this bit?

Yes, and the OP also said she only thought it was one question per episode.

Maybe he often gets annoyed and flips at her, and OP is upset about the general pattern and not just this one incident?

And maybe someone is inventing a backstory out of nothing.

Jeffreythegiraffe · 08/11/2015 09:54

I bet it isn't one question per episode. I can imagine that anyone who talks through a TV programme doesn't realise how often they do it.

Original poster

Pooshy · 08/11/2015 10:11

Thank you for all your comments. It put it into perspective for me (and a lot of them made me chuckle which was nice to be cheered up after a row)

So I then went an apologised (didn't want to go to bed on a Saturday night feeling miserable), we watched Gogglebox in catch up and then he asked me what was bloody going on!!

OP posts:

witsender · 08/11/2015 11:59

I think he is way ott. This is meant to be fun for both of you! Where is the intimacy in sitting in silence with one not getting it? Especially if you pause it and don't ask questions every 2 mins. It is a TV programme FFS!

limitedperiodonly · 08/11/2015 14:16

My sister would do something similar. We'd be watching a film and she'd say: 'What else has he been in? Hang on, it's coming. He was in the thing with Al Pacino. Or was it Robert de Niro? And didn't she used to go out with Rod Stewart?'

You can tell by the names that this was before the internet had been invented so I couldn't refer her to IMDB.

It drove me potty. The one time I told her to shut the fuck up we had an enormous row where she said: 'I'm just making conversation.'

Yes, during a fucking film.

Lweji · 08/11/2015 15:20

I like talking during a movie or series, but it's usually about it, not asking about previous plot questions, or about unrelated topics.

More like: What is Carrie thinking? I bet the Eowyn woman is on with the Russians. That sort of thing.

MelcombeBingham · 08/11/2015 15:37

I'm glad everything worked out. Its horrible when you have self vanished to bed too early. I do that too. Although not over tv talking. I made my husband pause the tv last night when we were watching Leftovers because I wanted to do a fart and listen to it because it felt like it would be a loud one! He doesn't mind as long as I say pause first.

miaowroar · 08/11/2015 15:54

I used to do this with my XH - probably why he left.

Now I do it with my son - but he has to put up with me whilst he lives here.

I do try not to do it in company though.

miaowroar · 08/11/2015 15:55

I made my husband pause the tv last night when we were watching Leftovers because I wanted to do a fart and listen to it because it felt like it would be a loud one

NameChange30 · 08/11/2015 16:20

SoupDragon
"And maybe someone is inventing a backstory out of nothing."
Er no, I was just saying there might be a reason she is upset, and it's harsh to accuse her of being over sensitive without knowing the whole story.

If my DH got annoyed with me for asking a question, waited for me to apologise, and then asked ME a question, I'd be pretty annoyed. It's hypocritical and unkind.

BestZebbie · 08/11/2015 18:31

Is the thing that confuses you related to not recognising the characters in different situations/mixing or merging different characters?
I ask because about 1 in 50 people have a degree of face-blindness that can affect being able to follow TV and films.

news.harvard.edu/gazette/story/2006/06/face-blindness-disorder-may-not-be-so-rare/

limitedperiodonly · 08/11/2015 18:51

I don't think I have that face blindness disorder but I am rubbish at recognising faces.

IRL I think it's because I'm a bit shy and don't look at people properly when I first meet them.

But when it's Downton Abbey and Lady Mary's three identikit suitors I know it's not my fault.

Castrovalva · 08/11/2015 23:24

I think I have face blindness.

Most people just look like people to me. Especially actors in films who tend to look fashionably samey ( at least IRL people are tall or short and fat as well as thin) Which is why I tent do google the plot

Castrovalva · 08/11/2015 23:26

And that article is interesting, thank you.

DH Has frequently ribbed me at not recognising people who I should be very familiar with.

futureme · 08/11/2015 23:31

I have prosopagnosia. I used to irritate my husband no end askign him who people were. He used to say "I know the same as you!".

Now we know about it I can say simply "have we seen him before?" or "is that the bad guy/good guy/his father/etc" and he knows why I am asking.

I often google the plot, and very very very rarely know if when someone says "what else has x been in" as I will never know.

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