To expect a "thank you?"

[Penygirl]

I'm a teacher and I've just returned from a three night residential trip with pupils from my school. I enjoyed the trip and the children had a fantastic time doing the various activities. They were well behaved and settled to sleep well, although one group were wide awake just after 5.45 one morning! As arranged, I dispensed medication to two pupils, and comforted a few who became homesick on the first night. However, when we returned on the bus today not one parent uttered the words "Thank you" to me or my colleagues. Is it just expected that teachers should give up time with their own families to care for other peoples' children or is it just my school?

I always think the teachers should be thanking me for the privilidge of having the company of my lovely children *

I still don't think the fact you hate/resent residentials for whatever reason makes it ok ok to not thank staff. Whatever your views you took the decision that your dc would go and they got the benefit of that.

It's not precisely my choice... it's something the kids feel very peer-pressured into and then they may pressure me. The only time it really was an event I desired DS1 to do, the teachers lied by telling DS1 he'd be sharing room with someone he chose.

We lucked out that DS2's best-mate's family are in debt, so no trip for the BM this yr & therefore DS2 not bothered (phew).

School proposed 2 night residential for yr3s. Other parents seem to think "too young!" so we will probably get another lucky escape. Phew.

Yanbu at all, its basic manners and courtesy to say thank you to somebody who has looked after your child, whether they are paid or not.

very sad to hear this op, its basic manners isn't it, sorry its lacking in your pupils parents...maybe they will make it up to you this xmas...

There are two issues here. First, saying thank you to people is basic good manners, everybody agrees on that. Second, whether teachers who go above and beyond are more deserving of a thank you than other professionals who go above and beyond. There are many professional situations which require people to go away from home (paying childcare) and are not paid extra, so colleagues who never do the extra get the same pay as those who bother and incur childcare costs.

Having said that, dd has not been on a residential yet but I say 'thank you' to the teacher all the time, probably every time we have a conversation. That's not thank you for anything specific they have done, it's just 'thank you for teaching my child, thank you for being the person who spends so many hours with my child every day'. Same thing to the childminder before she started school: 'thank you our childminder!' It wasn't a thank you for anything specific, so not 'thank you for taking her to the park'. I don't think thanks has to be linked to specific things otherwise you'd be listing everything down that they did.

I think that's what pp are saying they wouldn't SPECIFICALLY say 'thank you for taking them on the residential and spending sleepless nights looking after them' but I'm sure they say 'thank you' generally when talking to teachers, as anybody would.

I always thank bus drivers when I get off the bus but I wouldn't send a card saying 'thank you for avoiding that obstacle on the road that day, I really appreciated your bus-driving skills'.

Gifts to teachers, yes, at the end of every term. Again, not for a specific thing they did, just for being the lovely teacher! I think it's weird to say that you did an extra special thing and you want a specific thanks for that thing.

I was a teacher, I escaped. I was rarely thanked after trips or residentials.

Now my children are at school I make sure they thank their teachers at the end of clubs, trips and residentials. I also thank the teachers if it was a residential or school trip. I thank teachers id they organise an extra activity.

I do have to remind my children to say Thank you. They both have a form of Autism and Thank you still doesn't come naturally! One day it might. Until then they will be directed by me to say Thank you. When directed they Thank staff genuinely but it never occurs to them!

I thank everybody, including automatic doors if I'm not careful! I alos apologise to any lampost I may crash into.

One of my kids teachers drinks southern comfort so I bought her that and wine and chocolate for the others. Always done this since reading the first near identical thread on here years ago.

never I thank cash machines but that's partly relief that there is money in my account. One of my sisters used to drive me nuts saying goodnight back to news presenters at the end of the show.

One of my sisters used to drive me nuts saying goodnight back to news presenters at the end of the show

That's perhaps taking things a little too far.

I am actually sad for those of you who are not thanked in your line of work. I don't work in a school anymore, but I do get thanked by my colleagues, by people I speak to on the phone, by people I've helped or done stuff for. Heck, even by my own children sometimes rare.

Are some of you REALLY stuck in jobs where there is NO thanks, ever? Not from peers, clients, customers, never from the boss? How depressing! And how depressing that so many seem to think there is no need to say thank you if someone is just doing the job they are already being paid for! In a relationship too, saying thanks is important.

I've taken residential trips and the parents haven't even bothered to come and collect their kids, never mind thanking us.

I hate the attitude of, well it's your job and you get paid etc.

Firstly, you don't get paid for taking a residential trip, i.e. you only get paid your normal salary for your normal hours, there's nothing to reflect being on duty 24/7. Last one I did, we had literally no break from the kids for 3 days (up on and off all night), no tea break, no lunch break. It was totally exhausting. Other staff didn't have to go. Just a particular few. But the few that did go didn't get a single thing to reflect their extra time and efforts, not just the trip itself but the hours and hours of organisation that's gone into it.

Secondly, a hairdresser, for example, is just doing their job, but you'd thank them at the end, or a waiter in a restaurant, or a motorist is legally obliged to stop at a zebra crossing, but they still get a wave or nod of thanks, it's called manners and consideration isn't it??

A child at our school told us her mother was very cross about the staff benefitting from a "free holiday".

We were

Perhaps you should get the mother dbs checked and allow her to volunteer for these free holidays. Perhaps she could volunteer to do all the paperwork and set cover if necessary too.

I often think whilst on holiday how much pleasanter it would be if I were in charge of 26 other people's kids