To expect a "thank you?"

[Penygirl]

I'm a teacher and I've just returned from a three night residential trip with pupils from my school. I enjoyed the trip and the children had a fantastic time doing the various activities. They were well behaved and settled to sleep well, although one group were wide awake just after 5.45 one morning! As arranged, I dispensed medication to two pupils, and comforted a few who became homesick on the first night. However, when we returned on the bus today not one parent uttered the words "Thank you" to me or my colleagues. Is it just expected that teachers should give up time with their own families to care for other peoples' children or is it just my school?

Oh right well I've never known of one that wasn't during the week. Sounds like a horrible arrangement to have to give up your half term or weekend with no extra pay. But the way teachers are paid has always confused me because they're also expected to do work during their long summer break aren't they without any extra pay?

If I had been there to pick up I would have possibly have said 'thanks' but I do think expecting or hoping for notes and chocolates etc from parents is a bit OTT. The only time I really actually see my DD's class teacher is at parents' evening so it's not like we're chatting every day and I never mention the trip at all. In fact we've not had a parents evening yet so I've never even had a conversation with him.

Yes they're away for the whole 24 hrs but surely asleep for a good portion of that time? And looking after a class of 30 pupils every day is what you sign up for when you're a teacher isn't it?

This has all given me food for thought. It seems like it's the nature of the job (looking after / teaching our kids) that makes people feel obliged to give extra gifts and thankyous. I'd never seen it like that and had always just classed it as work like any other which sometimes entails extra hours and responsibility without much reward or thanks.

Not a teacher but as someone who take similar size groups away voluntarily (using annual leave of which I never have enough at the best of times) I can tell you that 30 kids do all sleep at some point in 24 hours. It just never seems to overlap very well so there's usually someone awake crying/feeling sick/fighting with girl in next bunk/lost teddy/texting mum on smuggled in mobile or all of the above. So more time off needed afterwards to catch up on sleep. Which teachers can't do as they can't choose their own holiday dates.

If I had been there to pick up I would have possibly have said 'thanks'

Very good of you.

Clara... 'they're asleep for a lot of the 24 hours" are you joking! If they sleep for 4 hours it's a miracle. Have you ever experienced a group of 11yos in a room trying to sleep!

Teacher pay is simple, we're paid to work 32.5 hours a week for 195 days a year. This is then divided up into 12 equal monthly payments.

As as for looking after pupils is what you sign up for. Yes we sign up for teaching them for 5 hours a day. Add the 4 hours sleep, still only on 9 hours out of 24.

I don't say thank myself but ALWAYS send my child to the teacher before we go home and they say thank you.

It's isn't simple though is it? I have teacher friends and they all work during the the summer at some point without being paid for it. If the pay is for 195 days, why does that happen? I think there's something inherently wrong with the way the whole thing is set up that leads to expectation of extra work from teachers in various different scenarios without any reward.

"I don't say thank myself but ALWAYS send my child to the teacher before we go home and they say thank you."

This.

I don't tend to say thank you on my DD's behalf. I hope I've brought her up to do that herself.

At parties or after sleepovers I always make sure SHE says thank you because she's the one who has benefitted. I guess I didn't naturally think of doing it as a parent after a school trip for that reason. The trip was for her, not me. If I had been there at pickup, the most likely scenario is that I'd have sent DD over to say thank you.

If I see the teacher at parents evening I'll say thank you because I'm thanking them for their time with me... Just like I'd thank a Dr or a solicitor after an appointment.

Looks like my thank you email to the teacher the day after is very OTT, I had better rein it in a bit.

It's always so busy when I collect my children that we don't even get a chance to see let alone speak to the teachers. I do encourage my children to thank their teachers though.
When they were younger, before secondary, I used to go on every school trip as a helper so the teachers used to thank me as I would look after my own child and someone else's.

PenelopePitstops - I hope they were joking.

I've been a teacher for many years. I don't go on school journeys now, but used to.

You rarely get any sleep at all on the first night, and about 4 or 5 hours a night for the rest of the week. It is exhausting.

Those who have had children sleeping over at home. Think about it.

Imagine 60 or 90 of the little lovelies sharing eight to a room! How exciting is that!! Then someone always gets sick, someone else has a bad dream/wets the bed/hates everyone in their room/misses home/has to call home NOW!

You are basically mummy to all these kids on duty - WORKING - for the full time, so, no, it is not like going away with another job - however gruelling that may be.

I have rarely had a thank you - One year, a parent even had a sarcastic jibe about my free holiday. Ha bloody ha!

My daughter is going on her first residential trip soon. I remember reading on mn years ago that teachers are not paid for taking the children and that has stayed with me. We have bought a small box of chocolates and a bottle of wine for each helper.

What Clarabella said.

OP you are right to be upset. I've posted on a very similar thread to this in the past: I always send in an email thanks if I haven't been here at pickup. From the responses I've had back, I get the impression this is unusual for this leafy comp. I'm exceptionally grateful for two particular occasions: one, his first trip away from us abroad, when one member of SLT was posting blog updates with photos of us to spot our little darlings (despite the fact that annoyingly ours was always hiding at the back!) to check they looked happy. He was then up six hours later leading the next day's adventure. The second, when the head of English took six of them into the big city to see a play they were learning for GCSE (no more signed up, sadly), returning them all on a late night train. She was back in the classroom the next morning as usual, I reckon a whole lot more alert than DS was! Thanks to her dedication, he discovered a love for live theatre which we would never have envisaged before.

It never occurred to me to consider if this was part of their job. That's irrelevant. The very fact they are making that special effort to ensure our DC are happy, safe and learning something surely be cause for thanks anyway?

There is something inherently wrong, the expectations of work far outweigh the hours we are paid for. We aren't the only profession with this issue. As for how to stop it, there is a huge teacher shortage.

I'm sorry this has happened op, it must be very hard to give up your own time and not have anyone say a thank you to you or your colleagues.

I hate this! Why don't people actually think of others a bit, its all me me me these days.

ds2 went on a trip this year and loved it and I emailed the school to say thanks for looking after him so well and making it so enjoyable for him... the trip cost a lot and I'd saved up for years so it was really special for him.... other parents I spoke to said well it cost a bomb so they should be taking care of them anyway!!

strange attitude, and very prevalent these days, unfortunately.

and a bonus of me saying thanks was I got a few emails back from teachers who went who praised his behaviour and attitude and said he was a pleasure to take (which obviously made me very proud!)

I always made a point of saying thank you.

I'm genuinely horrified that people don't say thank you. I pay about a million pounds for my highlights and I still say thank you to my hairdresser when I leave. I thank my childminder every day too. I understand that it might be hectic at pick-up but an email or a card the next day is absolutely what teachers should get.

It is fascinating reading the different reactions to this situation. If I've helped raise a bit of awareness then that is good. Obviously every job has its ups and downs and until you do that job you won't be aware of them.
Like so many posters I'm a "thanker" - bus drivers, shop assistants, doctors, dentists, etc and so I find it strange when others don't utter a word of thanks or even raise a hand in acknowledgement. I always sent my children back to the teacher/Guide leader to say thank you and I would hope that they would still do so if I wasn't there.
it was busy as the children were collected off the bus but the driver was the one unloading the bags (and I reminded a few children to thank him too!)
Eviltwins the children in my school are a bit "entitled" too so maybe that is a reflection on society. ducks and runs

I think that sometimes parents feel that you're getting a free holiday as a teacher on a residential.

I've done several abroad and that brings extra stress on top of the usual. The last was a trip to Normandy, with mainly older school age children. On the way back, the coach driver ran out of hours at Portsmouth. We waited for a new driver and then went back to Surrey, arriving after midnight. There was some grumpiness about the late hour from the parents and one child wasn't collected. Trying to get in touch with a responsible person for the child in the early hours was not fun. They had 'forgotten.'

Another parent told us, just before we set off for Heathrow, that their child was terrified of flying.

We had some thanks, but quite often, an expectation hat we were lucky to be taking th trip.

That's the other thing I forgot to mention - you're often late back, getting stuck in traffic, and have had parents shout at staff as they've had to wait for 20 minutes

This always amazes me. I say thanks to the teachers at the end of the school day, thanks to the docs as I leave,thanks to the shop keeper as I walk out, thanks to a bus driver...why wouldn't I? They're all just 'doing their jobs', why would teachers be exempt from a thank you?

It probably wouldn't cross my mind to say Thanks.
I did consider chocolates & wine to the Brownies leaders one yr.

Thing is, I hate the residentials. There are behaviour codes & my boys struggle to behave so it's enormously stressful fretting about their behaviour or just flat out telling the boys NO (cue sulks). Of course adults don't sleep, the kids barely sleep, that won't help them behave, either. We once collected a misbehaving DS only 2 hours into a 3 day residential. I'd be happy if schools never did another single residential again.

It's almost unbelievable that parents don't say thank you. What else could there possibly be to say?

I usually say thanks whewhe n I collect my children from school, and definitely express my appreciation at parents evening.