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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to get a tattoo for DH for his 40th? I know nothing about tattoos!

80 replies

IHeartKingThistle · 04/11/2015 21:36

To clarify, it would be me getting the tattoo!

On holiday this summer I got a henna tattoo of DH's name on my arm to freak out my mum (it worked, was v funny). But DH, unexpectedly, was so touched that I had chosen his name - he loved it. I loved that he loved it and I was a bit sad when it faded.

Neither of us have tattoos or have ever wanted them prior to this. Would it be mad to have a real one? He's not 40 until next year so I have a while to make my mind up.

Where could I have it that would be invisible when I was dressed (or happened to be wearing a ballgown)? I'd like his name in a retro heart. It is not a very cool name (kind of like Dave) but I think that would be kind of cool too.

(BTW, not planning to divorce him, he's lovely).

Is it a stupid idea?

OP posts:
dustarr73 · 05/11/2015 09:53

Well you could get it in the style of the henna tattoo, since he liked that design

Branleuse · 05/11/2015 10:01

ive got my dps name on my lower tummy/hip. The tattooist told me she could make it into a lovely rose if we ever split up :D

Twinkie1 · 05/11/2015 10:03

I got DH a fake personalised one for our wedding anniversary with both our names in a heart. He thought it was really funny.

Why don't you try a fake one first to see his reaction?

ifyoulikepinacolada · 05/11/2015 10:07

I love tattoos and i have a few but please don't get his name. Get something that symbolises your relationship and where you are in it but most decent tattoo parlours won't do names of partners with good reason!

IrianofWay · 05/11/2015 10:17

I paid for DH to get a tattoo (on him!) for his 40th. He had wanted one for years and I reckoned by 40 yo he was old enough to know his own mind.

KingJoffreyLikesJaffaCakes · 05/11/2015 10:46

I have the opening notes from the music of DP's favourite film.

It's on the back of my neck so if we split I won't be able to see it anyway.

squoosh · 05/11/2015 10:54

Get one of those old school Mandy Loves Dave windscreen stickers instead.

TheOnlyWayToEatSandwiches · 05/11/2015 10:58

Why don't you try a fake one first to see his reaction?

Why don't you try reading the thread before posting? ;) :)

munkisocks · 05/11/2015 11:42

Go for it. I'm only one in my family without one out of siblings and in laws siblings. I'm liking deverell's lawnmower on minge line though haha. My sister has the bat symbol on her minge line...right next to her bat cave rofl

Fieryfighter · 05/11/2015 11:59

What about his face tattoed on your shoulder? Because tattoos of faces always look awesome Grin (sorry!)

Original poster
IHeartKingThistle · 05/11/2015 16:56
Grin
OP posts:
dustarr73 · 05/11/2015 17:05

Or you could always tattoo another part of his anatomy on you somewhere very privateGrin

WheresMyBurrito · 05/11/2015 17:16

Joining in the chorus to say don't get a name.

But it would be very sweet to get something to represent the two of you. DH and I have matching tattoos (two hearts with an arrow through and some flowers, very traditional style) that we got after we got married. If you didn't know we both had them you wouldn't know that's what they were for (if that makes sense).

I would also advise against getting lyrics or whatever, purely because the writing often ends up being quite small and will blur over time, so you could just end up with a muddy mess. The tattoo that KingJoffrey posted above is gorgeous, go for something like that. Could you incorporate the flowers that would have been in season when you got married, or when you were both born, or that you had in your wedding bouquet? Something personal to both of you doesn't have to be tacky.

ComposHatComesBack · 05/11/2015 17:37

I'd feel slightly miffed if my 40th present was a tattoo for the gift giver.

Fairylea · 05/11/2015 17:42

Whatever you decide to do if you do go ahead research your artist first, even for a small one or a name. Look them up on Instagram, Google local tattoo studios and look up their Facebook pages etc. Ask people for recommendations. Choosing the wrong tattooist can be painful and risky and at best leave you with blurry writing that fades too quickly because they haven't placed it far enough in the skin (or scarred because they've done it too deeply). Research research research !!

sykadelic · 05/11/2015 17:43

My DH has tattoos and I joked once about getting a name, or him getting a name. He said never because it's tacky and tempting fate.

If you want a tattoo to symbolize your relationship, I'd discuss it with him sooner rather than later so that you have lots of time to plan it (never tattoo yourself based on a last minute decision). I'd make an event of it but discussing the design, location and size together. Then I'd organize a temporary one to be done (maybe in henna again) to see how it ends up affecting your day-to-day activities.

When I was younger I considered on in the hip area but later learnt they could distort if you get pregnant/gain weight. For a couple of years now I've thought about a small one on my inner wrist ( this size but on my thumb side, not little finger side www.mociarane.com/images/heart-tattoo-wrist.jpg) . I draw on my inner wrist from time to time to see if having something there bothers me.

AliceInUnderpants · 05/11/2015 17:45

I have my kids names on me, but would never get a partner's. They are not guaranteed to be permanent, unlike a tattoo. Can you not just get another henna one done?

Sallystyle · 05/11/2015 18:03

I have my husband's name on my ring finger. I love it.

I also have my ex husband's name on my arm as a part of a tattoo. Don't regret that either as he is dead now and we have children together so they like that it is there.

Go for it.

Sallystyle · 05/11/2015 18:08

BTW if you ever did split up you could just get it covered up with something else, depending on the design.

Yes, tats are permanent but artists can do amazing things with cover ups these days.

I have had DH's name on me for 8 years and we are still going strong Grin

My tat with me exes name on it probably has the most meaning for me now.

Enjolrass · 05/11/2015 18:09

I get that you are getting him other presents.

I just don't get how you getting a tattoo is a gift or gesture for him.

I love tattoos and would be annoyed I dh got a tattoo done, on himself, for me.

Twinkie1 · 05/11/2015 18:45

Thanks Theonlyway, I did read it and thought perhaps a fake tattoo that looks like a proper tattoo rather than a henna one may be the next step to see if he really likes it.

Original poster
IHeartKingThistle · 05/11/2015 19:25

Enjolrass I have already explained this. He was genuinely touched that I had chosen his name for the henna one, absolutely loved that I was happy to walk around with his name on me. He's brought it up since the summer and said how cool it was.

This is not some look - at - me crusade. It would be for him because I know it would make him feel good. You obviously feel differently and that's fine, but I don't think this is that hard to understand.

The tattooed people on here who are saying no names are definitely giving me food for thought though!

OP posts:
Original poster
IHeartKingThistle · 05/11/2015 19:29

Thanks U2.

OP posts:
specialsubject · 05/11/2015 19:33

get a fake one done if you don't want to spoil the surprise. If he likes it, you can get it inked in. If he falls about laughing or screams in horror, no harm done.

names do always make me think that the named person is dead. Or that the inked person has a poor memory!

but your butt (or wherever), your choice. Never mind what it looks like at 90 - how does it look now?

wineandcheeseplease · 06/11/2015 06:18

I have a lot of tattoos and one is my DHs name. I have had it for years and don't regret it at all. If you really want it, go for it.

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