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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

WIBU to speak to neightbours about smoking?

96 replies

Fourfifthsof · 04/11/2015 18:24

My neighbours smoke outside in the back garden and the smell comes into my living room and into DS's room through our shut double glazed windows...

I acknowledge that I might be being a bit PFB about it but it smells quite strong and I don't like it. WIBU to speak to them about it? Just to ask them to move away from the house a bit? I am worried what is going to happen in the summer - we won't be able to open the windows without it smelling like a shisha cafe. Wink

I am not an anti smoker, I think people should be able to do what they like providing they are not hurting anyone else, I would just prefer it if they did it away from my window so they don't stink out the place. It's a rented place, so I could just tell the landlord but I think that's a bit passive aggressive... AIBU?

OP posts:
XiCi · 04/11/2015 19:21

I just can't understand how the smoke could travel down the garden in the open air and then through closed double glazing causing a strong smell. Seems very unlikely.
My Dh smokes right outside our patio doors and you cannot smell a thing in the house

pinkyredrose · 04/11/2015 19:24

You can ask but you may have to be prepared for them to say no. What if they asked you not to let your kid shriek outside and play with toys in his own garden, would you comply?

Alisvolatpropiis · 04/11/2015 19:24

I'd move if my neighbours asked nicely. But I like them anyway and we have a nice neighbourly relationship.

goodnightdarthvader1 · 04/11/2015 19:26

How would you feel if they asked you to stop your DS from playing in your garden as they don't like it?

I don't think the OP's DS smells offensive or causes cancer. I may be wrong, though.

monkeysox · 04/11/2015 19:26

Xici you might not smell anything but there will be a smell. It gets in.

You can ask. Worst is they say no.

goodnightdarthvader1 · 04/11/2015 19:27

xici if they're smoking outside their back door, the smoke could easy drift into the OP's rooms at the back of the house. The gardens are next to each other.

ClashCityRocker · 04/11/2015 19:29

I'm a smoker and would be fine with moving a bit down the garden - provided I was asked nicely.

LongHardStare · 04/11/2015 19:30

I have the same issue except it is only when the window is open - but it is crap never being able to open the window! I'm too chicken to raise it with them...

Original poster
Fourfifthsof · 04/11/2015 19:32

I'm happy to wind my neck in and buy a plug in, just thought I would solicit opinion!

DP just said he thinks it's not the smoke or the actual smoking but that they have an overflowing ashtray that they use and that it's smouldering and making the smell. That makes more sense to me tbh as other people who have lived there have smoked and it hasn't been a problem...

If it is an ashtray, hopefully they will empty it sometime this year and solve the problem...

OP posts:
IoraRua · 04/11/2015 19:33

Yes, you are being incredibly PFB. You can ask, I don't think for a moment that they'll say yes.

Iflyaway · 04/11/2015 19:35

I don't drive a car and hate the choking fumes. They kill too. Funny no-one talks about that but bleat about a ciggie in the garden next door.

IoraRua · 04/11/2015 19:35

Ah, I see you just posted. I'm glad you're an op who can accept when YABU. :)

RueDesTroisFreres · 04/11/2015 19:38

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

goodnightdarthvader1 · 04/11/2015 19:39

Is someone running a car in your back yard, then, Iora?

Cars have a useful function. Cigarettes don't. Except maybe as a diet aid and a means to "look cool" if you're 12 years old.

SoupDragon · 04/11/2015 19:40

I don't think the OP's DS smells offensive or causes cancer. I may be wrong, though.

Way to miss the point. I bet some people would find him (and other children) exceptionally irritating when they play in a garden.

Anyway, the teeny tiny amount of smoke that is magically coming through double glazing is not going to cause cancer either.

FWIW, I despise smoking and find the smell utterly disgusting. However, I don't have the right to stop people doing a legal activity in their own garden.

goodnightdarthvader1 · 04/11/2015 19:45

soupdragon I'm not suggesting anyone has the right the stop anyone from doing a legal activity in their garden. Where did I say I did? I even said myself they have the right to carry on.

I just think smoking is pointless and disgusting and should be abolished. But lucky for all the smokers, I'm not in charge.

NewLife4Me · 04/11/2015 19:46

I suppose it depends on if they are actually in the garden or standing in the doorway.
It's getting colder so maybe they may move more into a doorway if they can.
If I was in the garden then I'd move if somebody asked nicely, but no bugger is moving me from my doorway where its a bit warmer and dry.

SoupDragon · 04/11/2015 19:49

Where did I say that you did?

I was simply pointing out that your comment about children not causing cancer was stupid.

Children playing and people smoking are both legal things people can do in their garden. Hence the suggestion that the OP imagine how she would feel if her neighbours asked her to stop letting her son play in the garden.

You chose to make it into something it wasn't.

Original poster
Fourfifthsof · 04/11/2015 19:55

WIBU if it was the ashtray on fire / smouldering?

It really stinks - that makes much more sense than just smoking actually...

OP posts:
ShamelessBreadAddict · 04/11/2015 19:56

I used to smoke and would have happily moved if a neighbour asked me nicely (and if it was possible - where do you propose they go instead)?

amarmai · 04/11/2015 19:56

Wd a small fan placed to blow towards the window help?

April2013 · 04/11/2015 19:59

Just a tiny bit of smoke can trigger my asthma terribly, probably due to exposure to passive smoking as a child, asthma is fairly common - so this isn't just an irritation and you can't get rid of the particles with a plug in so I think you are being totally reasonable. Perhaps tell a white lie that you have asthma and plead with then, say you are sorry for inconvenience - thing is, it is a very good idea to protect children from passive smoking for various reasons and it is not over the top to do what you can on that front.

ShamelessBreadAddict · 04/11/2015 20:01

Sorry and yanbu at all.

Original poster
Fourfifthsof · 04/11/2015 20:02

Now I've had a peep, I am pretty convinced it is a full, smouldering ashtray rather than the actual smoking that's causing the problem...

WIBU to ask if they have an ashtray on fire?

OP posts:
ShamelessBreadAddict · 04/11/2015 20:15

That might explain the very strong smell OP. Dirty ashtrays really, really hum. I'd have a word.