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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to ask how many people didn't know they were pregnant?

82 replies

hairbrushbedhair · 04/11/2015 18:13

And for how long? Till birth? First few months?

And what happened? Condom split? Pill failed? Wasn't using any method?

And could it possibly ever happen that someone doesn't know they're pregnant with twins or more?

Sadly it's not me, fertility issues.

OP posts:

lilyb84 · 05/11/2015 00:12

There was another more recent thread where the poster and her partner both felt some movement one night which felt just like an elbow, as with her previous pregnancies. She came on here panicking she might be pregnant and got some fairly scathing replies saying she would definitely know something like that. If I remember right she turned out to be around 30 weeks. Hoping it all went well for her in the end!

Senpai · 05/11/2015 02:00

guajiraguantanamera I'm on the implant though so surely not

I'm on the implant too and get phantom baby kicks. The first time I panicked and got a test and it was negative. A few months later the same thing.

Probably not a side effect of the implant, but figured I'd let you know the same thing has happened to me.

SecretWitch · 05/11/2015 02:30

My first boyfriend was a surprise baby. His mum and dad tried to conceive for years after they were married, with no success. His mum developed terrible abdominal cramps the evening of her 42 birthday. She attributed it to the 2 pound lobster she consumed for dinner. When the pain became unbearable, she went to A&E...just in time to deliver the baby that would become my boyfriend 17 years later. She never had periods and just figured she was in menopause when they stopped altogether. She said she never felt any movement and her clothing size never changed.

SecretWitch · 05/11/2015 02:31

That should have read " she never had regular periods.."

TowerRavenSeven · 05/11/2015 02:42

Me. I was told I'd probably be sterile due to chemotherapy. My mum had died five months beforehand and my period stopped due to stress and hadn't returned.

Dh and I weren't using anything because we wanted children but knew chances were very slim. I had no idea I was pregnant until I was admitted with awful cramps - I assumed my period was coming back and that's why the cramping was so bad but it turns out I was pregnant and miscarrying probably around 10 weeks.

It does happen to people that aren't dim witted.

Babbafish · 05/11/2015 03:52

I was 26 weeks. I'd had a seizure previously and had wisdom tooth removed which caused a dry socket and then left nerve pain. Dr had given me Valium. Periods were never regular. No sickness. We were preparing for a wedding in Dominican Republic. Busy busy busy.
I stood on a beach with all my family and hubby's family at 24 weeks pregnant and no bump!
I remember thinking on the beach that my tummy didn't concave like it used to and was hard. Told my mum and she prodded it and told me to go for a poo!!!!!!
Sat on the sofa one day and my whole stomach moved!!!!!
DS was born full term and 6lb 2oz healthy boy!!!

Next pregnancy was the LONGEST ever !!!!

Sansoora · 05/11/2015 04:40

Then one day, when DS1 was 6, I felt this huge rolling movement across my entire abdomen

This happened to my friend. It was her 4th pregnancy and it turned out she was 26 weeks pregnant. She says she started screaming because she'd just had fish for lunch and she thought it was the fish

WaitrosePigeon · 05/11/2015 05:12

I didn't know with both of my children until 10 weeks. First child I was dithering with the pill, second child we were TTC. I don't often get periods and I didn't have any symptoms except for a bit of sore breasts with the first.

OffMyAyersRocker · 05/11/2015 06:36

This thread

I'm currently wondering what contraception to use as dc2 will be our last but it seems like contraception and having your period is no guarantee! slightly petrified to have sex again

For those of you that did fall pregnant using protection, what do you use now?

Flambola · 05/11/2015 06:59

A colleague's friend didn't know until she gave birth in her bath! He said it was a shock to everyone because she just didn't look it and was as slim as she'd always been. I don't know about movements etc.

Artandco · 05/11/2015 07:32

Oh and with mine I did know by 20 weeks, but even at full term my bump was tiny ( and I'm small) so if baby had been born early at say 30-34 weeks I probably wouldn't have had any bump at all really so easily missed.

FayKorgasm · 05/11/2015 07:49

I can see why someone wouldn't know they were pregnant. When pregnant with DC3 the position of the placenta meant that I felt very little movement and even then it just felt like wind.

goodnessgraciousgoudaoriginal · 05/11/2015 08:02

Happened to someone I know - didn't know she was pregnant until she went into labour. I can't even imagine how terrifying that must have been!

For her, she had her same (admittedly very irregular) periods throughout the pregnancy, didn't feel any movement that she couldn't easily consider to be gas/stomach issues (I think it turned out she had an inverted uterus or whatever it's called), and only put on a few kilograms throughout.

Just goes to show really. She'd had no tests, been drinking throughout the pregnancy (not like a club med rep, but on a regular social basis) and done literally none of the things you're supposed to/not supposed to do. Perfectly healthy baby!

There was another girl at work who didn't realise she was pregnant until she was about five months gone. Apparently she was at the gym as she was annoyed she had put on a bit of weight, and someone said "ah I didn't know you were pregnant!" - after getting hugely offended, she did a bit of mental calculations and then took a test. Very positive. Apparently she went from having slight podge to proper pregnancy bump pretty much overnight once she knew!

HardWorkButTheyMakeMeSmile · 05/11/2015 08:14

I knew a mum of 4(last 2 were twins). Who must have fallen pregnant quite quickly after the twins birth.

She did realise she was pregnant booked a doctors appointment to start the ball rolling for scans etc. and then thought she she was having a miscarriage as she started bleeding slightly and getting stomach pains.

Within 2 hours she gave birth to a 8lb DS on her sofa. She swore she she thought she was only a few weeks along and had never felt any movement at all. She wasn't the kind of woman to tell stories or look for attention and drama so I fully believe this was a huge surprise for her.

mayhew · 05/11/2015 09:13

Re what to do about mat leave. At my work, a ward sister said to her manager she needed leave to have a baby. Some surprise since she was childless, well over 40 and said she'd never wanted kids. Asked when she needed to go off, said as soon as possible. Found out she was full term that morning (but came to work!). That baby was treasured.

Leave is still your right in these circumstances.

atticusclaw2 · 05/11/2015 09:17

My cousin gave birth on the toilet. Allegedly didn't know..

megletthesecond · 05/11/2015 09:26

It happened to an old colleague. She'd been on a huge weight loss and health kick for new year, she lost weight and did really well (me and another fitness freak colleague were supporting her). Then at the start of summer she was moaning about how she couldn't shift any more weight . A couple of weeks later she realised she was pregnant with dc2 and into her second trimester. She had to make a quick decision about amnio iirc.

Apparently she had given up on having a second baby and they'd long stopped using contraception. The health kick seemed to have worked in more ways than one.

LittleMissAIBU · 05/11/2015 09:33

I don't know anyone, but can believe it.

I knew straight away as we were TTC, but with DS1 I didn't show until about 26 weeks, and that wasn't a big bump. He was back to back so hardly felt any movement, and I felt fine, I even had some bleeding, so could easily have missed knowing early on.

DS2 however, lots of nausea, lots of kicking, no way I could have missed that one!

OnceAMeerNotAlwaysAMeer · 05/11/2015 10:17

For those of you that did fall pregnant using protection, what do you use now?

Sterilization.

First son was conceived despite two forms of protection only two weeks after moving in with bf. It was a wonderful surprise but still a surprise!

Not good with pregnancy and no way could I go through a third. Asked the consultant (consultant led preg the whole way with second) about getting sterilized quite early on, and she okay'd it without a moment's worry.

It's a heck of a weight off my mind to be safe now.

strugglingwithstepson · 05/11/2015 10:33

Friend with MS didn't know until she gave birth to twins on the toilet. It made the local newspaper. It wasn't even her first pregnancy!

DrDreReturns · 05/11/2015 10:56

A friend of my wife's didn't know she was pregnant until she was three months gone. She has very irregular periods.

strugglingwithstepson · 05/11/2015 11:05

Also ex colleague knew she was pregnant but didn't know it was twins until she gave birth to the first baby and second baby soon followed!

My aunt had regular 28 day periods with both her kids right though pregnancies. Knew she was pregnant though.

roughtyping · 05/11/2015 11:33

My aunt is a midwife and said at the time that although people have a 'stereotype' in their head of people who don't know they're pregnant (i.e. Young, faking it, whatever), from her experience it is far more likely to be women thinking they're going through the menopause who come in in labour.

roughtyping · 05/11/2015 11:34

It also really bothers me when people doubt that I didn't know and say that they would definitely know how can you possibly know that? Every body, every baby, every pregnancy is different

contrary13 · 05/11/2015 11:47

Both of my children were conceived whilst I was taking the pill (two different ones, because I'd figured with my oldest that the one I was on at the time obviously didn't work!).

With my DD (now 19), I was told by a GP that I was 5 months pregnant... when I was only 2 months pregnant. When I went to see the midwife, she thought that I was carrying an ectopic fetus, because my stomach muscles were too hard for her to palpitate (I miss those muscles... DD split them eventually with her need for her own personal swimming pool pre-birth) and no one really knew when she was going to be due. When she was born, she was overdue according to the delivery midwife - yet they were loathe to do anything to induce that day, because she was premature (a consultant took pity on me and quietly did a sweep which kick-started things).

With my DS, I knew from the start that I was pregnant. He was one of twins and I miscarried the twin at 9 weeks (passed clots and they think he absorbed some), but I knew I was pregnant, whereas with my DD... I didn't. I was really ill with what I thought was the 'flu round about two weeks after she was conceived (working back from what the midwife said at delivery) and just put the sickness down to that.

My DM also didn't know that she was pregnant with me. She went to the GP to get a tablet "to bring on her period" (some 1970s form of the morning after pill, most likely) and it turned out that the reason she'd not had any periods for 5 months... was me! My due date started on September 17th and finished on November 19th, though. I was born in October. But because she was on the '70s version of the pill... no one knew when I was conceived.

I'm starting to think it might run in the family...

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