To think if a man has an affair, he should at least have the decency to be discreet?

[downandoutlorelai]

Exactly that really. DP had an emotional affair (non sexual, but they did kiss) with a slightly younger OW. All has been forgiven, but I have just found out he wasn't exactly being discreet and some of his close friends are aware after he confided in them. The affair happened a while ago, but I am annoyed he told people and further annoyed it still seems to be a topic of conversation amongst them 1 year later.

Only saving grace is that when OW is mentioned amongst his friends it is in a negative light.

AIBU to be peeved?

A penis operation bandaged for a whole year

I think the lack of discretion is the least of your problems.

OP I am a bit confused by the penis in bandages for a year as the definitive proof of why the relationship was not sexual.

In your previous thread you implied that your DP who is 15 years younger than you is not the kind of man to have an sexual affair without love, as the reason they didn't have sex. You said that she wanted sex and he declined. This doesn't seem to make sense.

Maybe he's transgender and was mid realignment.

This is what happens when you forgive. It's all the peripheral noise that bogs you down.

It's why I would always say LTB. There are plenty of better men out there.

What about oral sex, masturbation, etc? The kissing that he admits to would not be a chaste peck on the lips, you're talking proper snogging and groping. (Sorry OP if that's upsetting to think about but you have to face up to it if you've any chance of really forgiving him).

But there was no mention of any penis being out of action in previous thread. Only that OP believed he wasn't the kind of man to cheat sexually, hence why she believes it was only an emotional affair. She days in last thread that there was probably heavy petting or words to that effect. The bandaged penis seems a bit far fetched and brought out of the bag for this thread.

Agree with this being a made up op to justify her belief there was no sex.
If it's genuine then I'm intrigued to know what op would cause a penis to be bandaged for a whole year!

All I will say is OP if you have chosen to forgive that's your business but he had any respect for you and wanted to make this good he should not be talking about her ever .

Op, are you OK ?

What is an emotional affair?
I've seen this on MN a couple of times recently but I don't understand how it differs from a close friendship.

Hope it isn't insensitive to ask.

emotional affairs

Op hope you are ok