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AIBU?

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Original poster

Annoyed my 13 yr DD allowed to watch 18+ movies at friend's

52 replies

TheDoor1 · 02/11/2015 17:33

My DD went to a Halloween party at her school friend's and I've found out they all watched Insidious ... I am upset about it. I would never allow my child to watch an 18+ horror movie (or play an 18+ violent video game).

I wouldn't expose someone's else's child to psychological horror, death and violence without definite permission from their parent... I feel upset about it.
Angry

I've looked after my daughter carefully with regards to content in books and films, as I was sadly exposed to adult themes far too young

P.S. DH and I have watched the film ourselves and it is disturbing on many levels.

OP posts:
Me624 · 02/11/2015 19:02

Ugh, I remember being 13/14 and it was absolutely all the rage to have sleepovers and watch 18 rated horror films. This was the era of Scream, I know what you did last summer, the Blair Witch Project etc. I hated them and still do. I would never voluntarily watch a horror film. Sometimes when it got too scary for me I used to just stare at the wall next to the TV for ages. Would never have wanted to lose face though in front of my friends by being "not allowed" to watch them! That would have been even worse. It didn't do me any long term harm.

scatterthenuns · 02/11/2015 19:05

YABU. 13 year old sees 15 rated film. Hardly worth the hysteria about.

sltorres9 · 02/11/2015 19:24

Yes yabu. Insidious isn't even an 18, I'd barely call it a horror to be honest. If your 13 year old was watching saw/last house on the left/hills have eyes then yes be annoyed, not at insidious

sltorres9 · 02/11/2015 19:25

I watched chunky with my dad when I was five, no recollection of it at all

BathshebaDarkstone · 02/11/2015 19:26

YANBU. I'd always ask first.

SometimesItRains · 02/11/2015 19:35

Remembering going to sleepovers at 13, I doubt she would have sat down and watched the film the whole way through like adults would do. Films were more of a background at the sleepovers I went to - I technically watched nightmare on elm street at 12, but I can't say I was playing attention to it - we were too busy chatting about boys.

TeenAndTween · 02/11/2015 19:37

YANBU.
Parents shouldn't permit kids in their care to watch over age films without permission. Similarly drinking.
otoh, at 13 your DD was old enough to check the rating and say sorry not allowed.
otooh, that would put your DD is an embarrassing position, which is why the parent should not permit without flagging it up first.

ShamelessBreadAddict · 02/11/2015 20:12

Yanbu. My lovely but naive DPs let my brother and me watch Nightmare on Elm Street when I was about 10. They didn't watch it with us and just had no idea how horrifying a horror film could be as they didn't watch them. I was completely terrified of Freddy Krueger and used to wake up in the night petrified thinking about him. I was still scared of him for years after I watched it. My brother was fine though and he was 13 so I guess it depends on your DD.

I'd be seriously peeved about this though. My DPs just didn't know as "horror" to them was Dr Who but I would think parents these days must know what horror films are like, so no excuse really.

BrandNewAndImproved · 02/11/2015 20:23

I'm also from the era of Blair witch project, I know what you did last summer, scream ect ect. I was watching them at sleepovers and friends houses from about 12/13.

It hasn't done any lasting damage and I don't watch horrors now.

Tink06 · 02/11/2015 23:43

Ive been the other parent. On a sleepover dd n a few 14 year old friends all assured me they were allowed to watch a 15 film. Can't even remember what it was but I couldn't contact the other parents and decided to let them. It was something that was very popular at the time as they were all dying to watch it - possibly Bridesmaids...

They could have watched anything when I am in bed though - I do trust them but would have no way of knowing.

Roomba · 02/11/2015 23:54

I was very unhappy that my ex watched Insidious with my DS recently - and he is NINE [angry). Ex said it is a 15, so he thought it wouldn't be much scarier than the later Harry Potter films, which DS has seen (and read). He then dozed off, leaving terrified DS watching. Won't be happening again, that's for sure...

I'm not sure making a big thing of 13 year olds watching 15 films is a good idea per se - but a 15 rated comedy is a very different thing to a 15 horror film, so it depends on your child I guess. I watched all sorts, including 18 horror films, at that age and it didn't do me any harm. But my friend's 12 year old can't even watch Doctor Who without nightmares.

kali110 · 03/11/2015 02:23

Safely say horror films never had a lasting effect on me ( sorry chucky films do not count they are just funny).
I watched horrors as a child with my parents and aunt at a young age and then as a teenager with friends.
I still love horror now.
Some of the classics are still my favourite.
You can't beat a bit of halloween!
( seem to be the only person who hates nightmare on elms street though).
Real life things freaked me out. Hearing horrific news events scared me.
They were real, films were not.
I wouldn't just show my child anything unless i thought they wouldn't be able to handle it.
You know your daughter, you said she seems fine.
Your daughter was right about insidious.
The ending was silly.
Yabu about it though i actually think here.
It's a 15 not an 18.
Isn't that was teenage sleepovers are all about? Watching films that are few years above your age?
I remember doing this and i'm in my 30's.
Ahh, the innocence Grin

WyrdByrd · 03/11/2015 06:05

I absolutely loathe horror films, having seen Nightmare on Elm Street 3 ages 13 at a friend's house. Tbf my mum knew (she was in the kitchen with friend's mum at the time and I insisted I would be fine) - I didn't sleep without a light on until I was 18!

So...I would probably go slightly batshit about DD being allowed to watch any kind of horror film regardless of the rating, however, if your DD herself hasn't been bothered by it I would probably keep my opinion to myself, although I'd be concerned that if she went to that friend's again it might be an 18 next time.

WyrdByrd · 03/11/2015 06:07

me624 I know how you feel - another NOEM film came out at a friends 15th birthday - I apologised and left.

Senpai · 03/11/2015 07:12

I'm not sure what you expected teenagers to do at a Halloween party? Watch The Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown and go trick or treating? Grin

But, if she knows she's not allowed to watch those films, she needs to let them know. Or do what every teen does and sneak it in as a novelty.

I would be holding DD responsible for some of it if that's a rule.

Honestly though, having been that child that had strict ratings, it sucks being the cause of other kids not being allowed to watch what they want. You get pegged as the lame one.

enderwoman · 03/11/2015 07:26

It's normal/acceptable for a 13 year old to watch a 15. Next time she needs to tell the host that she's not allowed or if she's embarrassed, play on her phone /do something else while the film is on.
It's hard to police movies at teen sleepovers and I think that the ratings are wrong on some films with12A which is my bugbear as I have a 10 year old.

Gileswithachainsaw · 03/11/2015 07:31

God the horrors these days belong in the comedy section and have no business calling themselves a horror movie Grin

be glad she made it to 13 I was watching horrors from.much younger. love them..they don't scare me.

a 15 is fine Imo any thing else though is up to the parents what their child watches and they shouldn't make decision fir others

lanbro · 03/11/2015 07:43

At 13/14 I watched all manner of horrors, Friday 13th, Nightmare on Elm St, etc, and even Basic Instinct. Obviously, if you don't want your dd to be exposed to these sorts of things that's your prerogative but I think it's up to you to let other parents know.

FWIW, I haven't been affected by it. My parents were quite strict in some respects but not in others, my mum even made me a fake I'D so I could get into the cinema and pubs before I was 18!

Original poster
TheDoor1 · 03/11/2015 07:57

Every child is different of course. We took my very sensitive and imaginative (Aspie) son to see Horrible Histories at the theatre. The story of Mary Queen of Scots caused Terrors and Nightmares for days after... Blush

OP posts:
Cheby · 03/11/2015 11:20

Glad no harm done this time OP. I'd have been upset too though. I watched Nightmare on Elm Street at a party when I was around 12, I was terrified, literally lay awake all night at the sleepover, fell asleep in my mums car on the way home and woke up screaming shortly after. Had nightmares for weeks.

I don't ever watch horror films now, even as an adult, they affect me too much. I can't stop thinking about them. I was subjected to them at sleepovers throughout my teens and never got used to them, just got more and more scared and had more nightmares (I had extremely vivid dreams right up until my mid twenties, I still remember most of them and my childhood nightmares, with the same clarity that I remember real events).

My DD is only 2 but I think she will be the same and I will have to work hard to shield her from this stuff. She watched an episode of Hey Duggee (show on CBeebies, very gentle and aimed at very young kids) the other week where the characters went for a walk in a dark wood. DD was absolutely terrified, physicslly shaking while sat on my knee, I honestly thought she was having a fit before I realised what was up with her.

She has a lot of empathy for other people and fictional characters, i think that's where it stems from.

Crazypetlady · 03/11/2015 11:44

My nan will probably be flamed for this but I used to watch horrors with her from the age of eight. I was a very mature eight and I had no choice but to grow up a bit faster than some.
It never bothered me in the slightest I loved it and my mum didn't care.Every parent has different allowances but it is very naive to assume if you don't allow it they won't be watching.

helenahandbag · 03/11/2015 12:00

I was about 12 when I watched Scream, which fucked me up for - literally - years. I had horrible nightmares about someone being "after me", and I still suffer with them now. I never know who it is that is after me but I know they'll kill me if they find me Confused

I can't deal with horror or creepy stuff at all, I had nightmares after binge watching Pretty Little Liars Blush

Original poster
TheDoor1 · 03/11/2015 12:05

Thanks everyone for sharing your very varied experiences.

I am a massive horror fan myself, just would like to make sure DD is exposed to stuff with some parental control/guidance.

OP posts:
myotherusernameisbetter · 03/11/2015 12:21

Yanbu - my son was going to a friends at Halloween last year and the mother called to check if it was okay for him to watch Alien (he was 13 at the time) I was okay with it but appreciated that she'd called to check.

I wouldn't necessarily view it as an issue if my 14 year old watched a 15 at a friends house, but I would expect to still be asked for an 18.

0dfod · 03/11/2015 12:44

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.