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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To serve wedding cake as a desert?

83 replies

slightlyconfused85 · 02/11/2015 17:08

Getting married next month - had plans to serve a 2 course meal, do the (short) speeches then serve wedding cake as a desert (it's not fruit cake) with jugs of cream on the tables for people to help themselves.

My DM thinks people expect desert as well and will feel short changed. Thoughts? I am worried I am indeed being unreasonable but I am looking to keep costs low where possible.

OP posts:

wigglesrock · 02/11/2015 18:28

Last couple of weddings I've been to have done it - it's been grand, worked out really well.

missymayhemsmum · 02/11/2015 18:29

My daughter and son in law (or rather his mum) ordered a range of amazing cakes from the local deli-bakery instead of a wedding cake and served them mid-evening half way through the dancing. It worked really well. Can't remember if we had desert as well, might have been ice cream or something

Asteria36 · 02/11/2015 18:33

Loads of people I know, including DH and I, have done the cake pudding thing. Seems silly not to, especially if you are on a budget. We had a summer wedding so had massive bowls of strawberries and jugs of cream to go with our chocolate ganache covered cake. It was delicious. Having some berries to go with it does make it a bit more pudding-like

WomanScorned · 02/11/2015 18:39

Yep, you can.
I had 5 layers, all different, so that guests could choose. It was served with strawberries and cream.
I LOVE fruit cake, but many don't, so it does go to waste.
Please try to relax, and enjoy your day :)

OhHelpOhNoItsaGrufallo · 02/11/2015 18:58

I wouldn't mind if I was a guest, I'd quite like it.

In regards to this:

I am learning that I literally can't please anyone. I was so looking forward to the day but now I can't sleep with worry about being told what I should be doing/providing/saying. Funny how all these people who want me to do more things aren't offering to pay!!

My Husband and I learned very quickly we weren't going to please everyone, there was at least one person who disagreed with every aspect of it, day/colour scheme/food/venue etc etc!
We decided very early on, tough shit! We were the ones paying for it, it was OUR wedding day, if people didn't like it, they didn't have to come! End of!
Our wedding day was exactly how my Husband and I wanted it, most people turned up, it was perfect. I look back at my wedding day in delight, sod everyone else.

Me624 · 02/11/2015 19:17

I'd be perfectly happy with cake as dessert. At my wedding we had one fruit layer, one vanilla sponge and one chocolate and we cut it up and served it with the evening buffet. Most of it went - there were about 5 pieces of fruit cake left in the morning.

Original poster

slightlyconfused85 · 02/11/2015 19:40

Thanks mumsnet! It's a chocolate sponge cake; I chose this because the cake maker said the gluten free layer works best as chocolate as gluten free can be crumbly and the cocoa helps to bind it a bit. Was thinking a couple of jugs of cream and some berries or something. Our collective families are displeased....!

OP posts:

switswoo81 · 02/11/2015 19:55

Ignore them..it's a great idea.cake is always wasted .We were quoted around 800 euros for 3 tiers! . Got a small bakery to make a sponge cake for 100 euro.however we had fish and chip cones for the afters food so everyone stuffed their faces on that instead!

Asteria36 · 02/11/2015 19:55

Sod 'em slightlyconfused - they get to do whatever they think best on their day not yours.
I always feel really cross about people who feel the need to interfere with other people's weddings. Most wouldn't dream of dictating aspects of a normal party, but for some reason as soon as one calls it a wedding it is a free for all on unsolicited advice.

Enjolrass · 02/11/2015 19:58

We did it. It was chocolate brownie 'iced' with chocolate.

No one complained and tbh I would have laughed at them if they had of.

Our wedding, we paid...our choice.

No one had allergies etc

Moonax · 02/11/2015 20:07

Absolutely go for it. I've made numerous wedding cakes as puddings over the years and it's easy to include a chunk (or chunks) to deal with any allergies.

We didn't bother with a sit down meal at our wedding (25 years ago). Had a buffet which catered for kosher, vegan, egg and lactose intolerance. Cake was cut and just became part of all the circulating food. Worked a treat.

regenerationfez · 02/11/2015 20:12

As vsomeone else said, could you get a fruit square cake for cutting up from M&S? Then you could put it out wrapped if people want to take it home or have some in the evening. I love fruit cake and it is probably the best cake for wrapping and leaving out. Then as a bonus, if no one takes it, you can palm it all off on the moaning parents, as they were so keen on it and silently make the point that nobody cares about cake and pudding

jevoudrais · 02/11/2015 20:16

Yes! Do it! My friend hasn't found a single guest who tried her wedding cake. It was cut about 8.30pm and everyone was still stuffed after dinner ended at 5pm. She didn't even have any, nor did hubby.

WaitrosePigeon · 02/11/2015 20:18

We did this. Worked out well.

SaltySeaBird · 02/11/2015 20:33

We did it, white chocolate and raspberry - was more like a desert than a cake anyway. I only like fruitcake at Christmas and find the wedding ones to be dry as I haven't been pouring booze into them for weeks

Hanspannerly · 02/11/2015 20:47

Lovely idea, just be careful with cross contamination, my husband is coeliac and a very tiny crumb could make him really poorly so he would avoid a cake that was stacked on a non GF cake. You might want to consider having the GF cake completely sepate.

Original poster

slightlyconfused85 · 02/11/2015 20:58

Oh thank Hans- I have one coeliac the others are gluten free for other reasons. I will look into ensuring it is kept seperate as I would hate to make her poorly

OP posts:

BathshebaDarkstone · 02/11/2015 21:00

If it's not fruit cake, YANBU. Fruit cake's disgusting.

KittyandTeal · 02/11/2015 21:02

My db and sil did this. They had lovely cupcakes that were then served up for desert, worked really well.

We had a desert then cake put out at evening do, there was tonnes left and I felt it was a bit of a waste. If I did it again I'd do what db and sil did.

Happyminimalist · 02/11/2015 21:54

Great idea! You could also have some sophisticated sweets as favours possibly?

nocabbageinmyeye · 02/11/2015 22:01

Lovely idea. We would have done it but to serve your own cake as dessert here you get charged about €5 per person anyway so we just did dessert and cake later

vulgarbunting · 02/11/2015 22:03

My wedding cake went entirely in my mouth the day after (all three layers). I wish I had served it as a dessert, such a waste of money.

PresidentUnderwood · 02/11/2015 22:04

Going against the grain here, but don't do it!

We've been to four weddings where cake was served as dessert. My issue is that when service is a midday (ish) and meal at 4pm, people are bloody starving and a plate of food and a bit of cake doesn't sober fill you up enough.

I could tell you a few tales about one wedding where from 12 midday to 2am only chicken dinner plus a cup cake was served with a free bar

Original poster

slightlyconfused85 · 03/11/2015 07:06

Thank you president, I am keen to hear all opinions and experiences!

OP posts:

d270r0 · 03/11/2015 07:12

Some people might be a bit taken aback, but really they shouldn't be- you are paying and it will be a lovely dessert. If I were you I'd serve coffee etc. as well, as a little 'extra'.

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