To be ungrateful for a gift...

[MantaRayBay]

Ok. I am quite certain that IABU. I even said to my husband that if I put this on AIBU, you would all say IABU. So then we decided to test it out...

I can barely type this as it's rather embarrassing.

My MIL has just phoned to say she has bought DCs a wooden train set. Very similar to the one we were planning to buy them next year when they'd actually be old enough to use it safely. Which we have talked about a lot and are really excited about buying and seeing how excited they would be.

She phoned to say "is that ok?". What can you say to that?? It kind of feels like she stole my thunder ... she has done it before by buying them a book that is quite sentimental to me, that I was looking forward to buying. (BTW had to hang up because of DC so couldn't answer her.)

Obviously will have to say, "how lovely, thank you." And accept it. I just want to see the happy looks on my babies' faces and know that it's because of something I got for them...

Entitled, ungrateful, precious... Moi?

The childre might not be that fussed by it, you never know!

This reminds me...
When my ds was 2 my SIL bought him a Playmobil Pirate Ship
(a FAB toy but with lots of teeny bits, and he was only just two)
I cant remember if she knew or not, but we had bought him a lovely wooden Pirate ship (chunkier and more age appropriate)
I asked H to let her know and ask if she could swap hers to another thing?
She told us to 'return ours as she wasn't unwrapping it'.
I explained that we'd bought it 2nd hand at an NCT sale (permanently broke!) and we couldn't.
She didn't send it, but she didn't send anything else.
She was hugely grumpy about it.

I thought it was a waste to have 2 such similar toys at 2 years.
With hindsight, he could have had 'battles' with both.
Or, I could have put it away till he was bigger.
Or sold it (but she'd ask so those options not really available).

Both she AND MIL then sent 'gift tags' for a few years ,now just send money direct to kids

I'm not sure how old your eldest is OP, but if they are 2 yet I think they're old enough to play with a train set. Those trains are pretty robust and not inclined to break into pieces. Maybe don't get the battery powered ones yet. They might not be building whole tracks independently for a while but they will enjoy pushing a train around.

gosh for years PIL sent money for us to buy, wrap and give presents to my DS's because they 'didn't live near any shops' they had internet and could use it so why not buy online and have delivered? then DM got a bit fragile so did the same, used to annoy me as it meant all my good ideas for presents had to be shared. One xmas PIL came over on boxing day and kids were playing with toys MIL says 'oh what's that' Ds replies 'its the present you gave me nan' ... oh how we laughed!
they are older now so happy with the cheque they get direct.

I know where you're coming from and it's fine to feel upset about it. However I agree that the best bits about the wooden train track are all the cool additional bits. They've provided the boring track and you get to buy all the rest.

Or you could still buy the nice set next year but let them chew this one in the meantime

The good thing about the train track is that you can buy loads more fun things to add to it when they get older! The IKEA ones are compatible with the Brio and also another wooden one, which I can't remember the name of!

My ILs did this when DS1 was little. He was the first GC and they thought he'd been born purely for their entertainment doted on him.

Examples include getting him a (brand new) ride on trike for no reason as soon as they found out we were getting him one for Xmas.

Seeing the lovely new coat I'd bought him and deciding it couldn't possibly be warm enough so bought an almost identical one and kept putting it on him.

Constantly getting cheap, nasty chocolate advent calenders and bringing them round in august just to get in first.

Small things, but it does get really annoying when all you want is to do lovely things for your DC and these other people (who've already had their own kids) want to do it instead.